I Am Personally Sad Because My Cousin Blew Her Brains Out Yesterday

[SPKrazy]

and she did it right before my aunt who is dying of pancreatic cancer and was set to go on hospice but a surgeon talked her into having surgery, but then didn't do it because it was inoperable, got out of the hospital the same day.

My cousin's 17 year old daughter is who found her. Blew her own brains out. One of my favorite cousins.


Ya know what? I'm gonna cry. It isn't fucking self pity.

and if you want to lock my thread, be my guest.

People say stupid shit here all the time and their threads aren't locked.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

1. Oh man

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

69. thanks Haruka

:hug:

[blondeatlast]

2. Oh, SPK, I'm so very sorry. You deserve all the support you can get.

This place can get so damn nuts sometimes I don't know why I stick aroung--but there's enough good people--like you--to make it worth the astonishing stupidity and mean-spiritedness.

[SPKrazy]

70. well it seems

that's been worked out, my cousin is to be buried Tuesday, and my aunt is too sick to get there...

thanks

[bluesbassman]

3. You go ahead man.

This is a tragic loss for your family. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

71. thanks bluebassman

I am as a matter of fact :hug:

[Critters2]

4. Oh, SPK! I'm so, so sorry. For you and your whole family.

Can't imagine how you must feel. There are no words. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

72. I'll be fine

I worry about others

:hug:

[darkstar]

5. sorry to hear this....

love to your family...stay strong...talk when you feel the need to

peace

[SPKrazy]

73. thanks

peace to you too

[Blue Diadem]

6. I'm so sorry SPKrazy.

You go right ahead and cry. There's nothing wrong with feeling and showing emotion. Those who don't or say it's self pity often just stuff those emotions and forget how to feel anything.

I'm really sorry about your cousin and your aunt too. My heart breaks for your cousin's daughter.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

74. my heart breaks for her too

:hug:

and the rest of her family

[Lil Missy]

7. Have a good cry. I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

75. I am too

:hug:

[applegrove]

8. Very sorry.

[SPKrazy]

76. thanks applegrove

me too

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. My deepest sympathies regarding your family's loss and sorrow.

Truly a tragedy.

[SPKrazy]

77. yes it is

thanks

[firedupdem]

10. I'm so sorry. My prayers go out to you and your family.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

78. thank you

:hug:

[Kali]

11. oh god, that is too much

I'm so sorry. I don't know why this should be locked, probably missing things again, but seems like any human being would have sympathy even if not able to express it. Not self pity at all (and so what if it was?) perfectly normal shock, dismay, grief.

[SPKrazy]

79. thanks Kali

:hug:

[libnnc]

12. My God, I am so, so sorry

I lost a cousin three years ago to suicide. She shot herself too.

I'm sorry. :grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

81. sucks totally

sorry to hear that too

:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. I'm so sorry, my dear SPKrazy...

What a horrible thing for your cousin's daughter to come home to.

My deepest condolences, sweetie...

I've been there, if this is any help to you at all. My BIL did the same thing, several years ago...

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

82. sorry to hear it

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. I am so very sorry *hugs*

[SPKrazy]

83. me too GPV

:hug:

[elshiva]

15. You are right to cry. It is NOT self-pity. It's sanity.

:hug: :cry:

[SPKrazy]

84. its hard to understand for sure

in fact I don't

:hug:

thanks

[NMDemDist2]

16. ahh geez SouthPaw

that is awful!

I'm so sorry. how horrible for your family

I'm so sorry


geez

:cry:

[SPKrazy]

85. Thanks

:hug:

[RagAss]

17. I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers.

[SPKrazy]

86. thanks man

[jobycom]

18. Wish we could help you more.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

87. thanks

everyone has enough to deal with

:hug:

[mitchum]

19. My thoughts are of you and your family

I'm so sorry

[SPKrazy]

88. me too

thanks

[FloridaJudy]

20. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

Life just stinks sometimes. Sometimes crying is the only sane response.

[SPKrazy]

90. Thanks Judy

:hug:

[SeattleGirl]

21. Bro, I am so terribly sorry.

One of my cousins did that too. She was one of my fave's, and it just broke my heart.

My thoughts are with you. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

91. yeah,

thanks sis

:hug:

[Withywindle]

22. Oh, that's just horrible. I am so, so sorry.

Cry all you need to. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

92. thank you

:hug:

[omega minimo]

23. Do you have someone to talk to?

[SPKrazy]

93. at the moment

no

but yeah I do

thanks

:hug:

[rockymountaindem]

24. Man, I'm sorry

I don't know what to say, but I'm thinking of your family :hug:

[SPKrazy]

94. thanks

:hug:

[XemaSab]

25. That really sucks

:pals:

[SPKrazy]

95. yes it does

indeed

:hug:

[Flaxbee]

26. god damn it, SPKrazy. I am

just floored, I have no words, I am so sorry, I can't even imagine what you and the rest of your family are going through.

Why? Why? Why? Why?

Cry all you need to. And find someone to talk to. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

96. Thanks flaxbee

no ideas as to why

:hug:

[DFW]

27. Don't sit his out alone.

It's impossible to know what drives someone to do that, but it's a very lonely act.
Get a shoulder to lean on for a while, and take ours if there's no one near. No one
should have to bear anything like that alone.

[SPKrazy]

97. thanks DFW

at the moment I'm leaning on you guys

other times I'm leaning on others

but this moment I'm by myself and sad

[BikeWriter]

28. Talking sometimes helps.

[SPKrazy]

98. yes it does

and I have been trying to talk some

mostly I have a mix of emotions

[Nickster]

29. I'm so sorry to hear this. Stay strong.

[SPKrazy]

99. okay

thanks

[wartrace]

30. I'm so sorry SPKrazy.

There are no words that will help so :hug:

[SPKrazy]

100. no there aren't words

thanks

:hug:

[Dammit Ann]

31. I am so sorry.

Cry. Cry all you want, this world should be awash in tears.
Suicide is so hard to deal with...

[SPKrazy]

101. you're right

it should

[From The Ashes]

32. ...

:hug::cry:

Cry all you need to.
Talk to someone about this, don't bottle it up.
hugs and love,
K

[SPKrazy]

102. I don't know how to bottle this

thanks

:hug:

[amyrose2712]

33. Very sorry. ((((HUGS))))

It is important to have some one you can talk to. Stay strong, don't apologize crying.:grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

104. no I believe I have a right to cry

and thanks for your support

:hug:

[sarge43]

34. You have every right and reason to cry, SPKrazy and it isn't self pity.

My deepest condolences for you and your family.

Strength in the days to come. Peace to follow.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

105. thanks sarge

:hug:

[Callalily]

35. (((((SPKrazy)))))

You can cry on our shoulders anytime! We'll be your strength.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

106. thanks

:hug:

[Sky Masterson]

36. I'm sorry that your family has to go through this. it isn't fair.

And I'm sorry that your cousins daughter had to see that.
I wish your cousin could have found help before she took her own life.
I don't know who accused you of self pity.
If you somehow gleaned that from my response in the crying thread then it was misinterpreted.

[SPKrazy]

54. ...

thanks for that, my mind is going so many directions right now, I did interpret the self pity remark as to crying, but thanks for the explanation here

:pals:

[Sky Masterson]

55. I'm sorry for that.

I meant it totally in regards to me.
We are cool :pals:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

37. Shoulders and vibes SPK

:cry: :hug: :cry:

You are in my thoughts.

[SPKrazy]

107. thanks SalmonChanted

:hug:

[yellowdogintexas]

38. I am so sorry to hear this. There are no adequate words, except to tell you

I have been there, I know how awful it is and what a double burden the grief is. Your family will need to be strong for one another.

you may rant to me in PM after PM if you feel the need. You will want to rant to someone, I know this for certain.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[SPKrazy]

108. thanks yellowdogintexas

:hug: :hug:

[Debi]

39. So sorry for your pain

wish there was a way to lift it. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

109. thanks Debi

me too

:hug:

[woo me with science]

40. I am so terribly sorry.

How devastating. What a horrible, horrible thing.

No, it's NOT self-pity. It is a normal response to a terrible, terrible thing. Please remember that there are no rules for grieving. Take care of yourself gently. I hope you have the kind of family that you can turn to now, so that you can comfort and take care of one another.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you how you should respond or what you need to do to get through this time. Pay attention to your own feelings and needs. Talk if you want to. Don't if you don't. Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you MUST see a professional or talk about this at length in order to heal. On the other hand, don't be dissuaded from seeking support and help when and if you want it.

I am so sorry.

[SPKrazy]

110. thanks

:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

41. Wow. I'm so sorry. So terribly sorry.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

111. yeah me too Midlo

me too

:hug:

[lightningandsnow]

42. I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

112. thanks

:hug:

[Beer Snob-50]

43. my deepest sympathies to you and your family

and you know what go ahead and cry it ain't self pity!!!:grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

113. thanks man

:hug:

[Bertha Venation]

44. sweet jesus, I am so very sorry

I don't have words to express my sympathy. I am so sorry.

[SPKrazy]

114. thanks

:hug:

[graywarrior]

45. That is one heavy load to deal with, SPKrazy

Don't know what to say except that crying is probably a good thing to do right now.

[SPKrazy]

115. thanks gray

:hug:

[Deep13]

46. Self-pity is underrated.

Expressing sorrow at a time like that is normal. :cry:

[sarge43]

47. Tears are balm for a wounded heart. n/t

[miss_american_pie]

48. I'm so sorry

Cry all you want.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

116. Thanks MAP

:hug:

[lildreamer316]

49. Hey.

Love you. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

117. hey

love you too

:hug:

thanks

[SoxFan]

50. -

:grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

118. thanks

[Gormy Cuss]

51. I am so sorry, SPK.

My condolences to your aunt and your cousin's daughter too. What a horrid event.

[SPKrazy]

119. yeah, thanks

my aunt is too sick to go to the funeral

:hug:

[Kajsa]

52. I'm so sorry, Southpaw!

Damn right it's not self pity.

It's grief and it's damn near unbearable at times.
(My father died of pancreatic cancer.)
I am so sorry about your cousin's death!
What a shock!- My God, words fail me now.

Cry when you need to and stay close to people who
are supportive.Please PM me when you need to
talk- I mean it!!

My condolences to you and your family.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!

:hug: :grouphug:

[SPKrazy]

120. thanks Kajsa

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

53. Thanks for all the support...

still waiting to find out about the funeral...

just thanks

:hug:

[RFKHumphreyObama]

56. I'm so sorry SPK. There are no words

:hug: :hug: :hug:

My deepest and sincerest thoughts, prayers, condolences and sympathies to you, your family and your couin's friends and family -especially her daughter

[SPKrazy]

121. yeah, don't know

what that will do to someone

:hug:

[mentalsolstice]

57. There are no words appropriate at a time like this

I'm so sorry. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

122. thanks mental solstice

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

58. I am so sorry. That has got to be so hard for all of her loved ones.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

123. yes it is

:hug:

[FedUpWithIt All]

59. How terrible.

:hug:

I'm sorry.

[SPKrazy]

124. thanks fedex

:hug:

[Mad_Dem_X]

60. My God...I'm so sorry.

You go on and cry, as much as you need to. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

125. thanks mad dem

:hug:

[CreekDog]

61. That's awful

I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say.

[SPKrazy]

126. me either

thanks

:hug:

[SeaLyons]

62. So very sorry...no words

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

127. me too

:hug:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

63. Screw other people .........

All that matters right now is you and your family.

Cry. It's loss and it's horrible and it's tragic and it changes everyone forever.

Cry. And talk about it. Don't stop talking about it. If people won't let you talk about it, they're not your friends, so fuck them and find people who will listen. Don't stop talking until you're finished talking about it.

And hold a special place in your heart for that poor young girl whose pain was so great she could only think of one way to make it stop. Hold her there forever. She was too young to know that these things blow over.

Just cry and talk and if you can't think of anything else to do, come to DU and vent. There are a lot of kind and generous and gentle people here.

I am sorry for all this. I wish you a good journey. No one should have to take this trip, but so many do. I survived it, and you will, too.

[SPKrazy]

65. thanks my friend

:hug:

[mnhtnbb]

64. That is so horrible. I am so sorry for your family. Suicide leaves such

aching hearts.

May your cousin rest in peace. She must have been in such awful pain.

[SPKrazy]

128. I can only imagine

I don't know... :hug:

[Arugula Latte]

66. No words ... Only:

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

129. thanks

:hug:

[fortyfeetunder]

67. I am so sorry you are going through this

My condolences, the best I can do for you is :hug:

[SPKrazy]

130. that's plenty

and thanks

:hug:

[WinkyDink]

68. {{{SPKrazy}}} I'm very sorry for this terrible news, and {{{Your Aunt}}}.

[SPKrazy]

131. me too

thanks

[Left Is Write]

80. ......

I'm so sorry. :hug:

You know where to find me if you need me.

[SPKrazy]

89. thanks friend

:hug:

[Dappleganger]

103. It never, ever makes sense so don't even try.

I am so sorry this epidemic has hit your family.
Damn her and damn mental illness and damn the mess you are left in now. I really do hope you are able to find peace one day in this nasty bed of selfishness.

[SPKrazy]

132. thanks

:hug: