I have a friend who looks a bit like Susan Boyle...

[Dappleganger]

Her name happens to be Susan as well. She moved here to FL from Kansas and is very plain, although she does try to take care of herself by dressing in cute clothes, making her own jewelry, etc. Sue sings in the church choir, but is no soloist. She's always preferred to be in the background. She has a quiet but confident personality, is always positive and uplifting and is the first person who volunteers to help a person with *anything*. Most of the good things she does nobody else but that person knows about it. She and I have packed and unpacked more people's kitchens then I care to count.

We live in a part of FL where looks are more important than probably anything but wealth. Susan definitely doesn't fit into that mold. Neither do, but I tend to blend whereas Sue's looks may cause people to stare. You see, she also has alopecia and it's obvious that she's wearing a wig (in hot and humid FL that is torture). She often wears hats or scarves when she is tired of the wig.

Sue is not very popular in our area, really doesn't have many friends. Even in the church we go to (not as often as before) there aren't many who really know her well. Except for her family, her four beautiful children and her husband. I know her as probably my closest friend, too.

She is the one who snuck into my house while I was sleeping on the sofa for months, recuperating from chemo. She would do the laundry, make food in advance for me to eat (plain chicken, white rice and baked potatoes, veggie soup). She would clean my bathroom after I would get sick during the day. :( It was embarassing knowing that she did that, and that I could not help her. Susan would bring an occasional load over to the couch so that I could help fold, just so that I could feel like I could still do something.

When I lost my hair not just once, but twice going through another round of BC--Susan would bring me her freshly washed scarves and hats and show me how to put them on to look fit for being out in public. She would even go hat shopping on occasion and bring me some funky hats to try. She would always make it fun and make me laugh so hard. She taught me to not become bitter when life seemed to throw one curveball after another my way. It was ok to feel hurt and sad, but bitter? No!

There are so many other things that she has done for me which I won't go into here, but when I think about the blessings in my life she is at the top of my list. It also saddens me because I know that many others have really lost out in their own lives because they don't know her like I do, because they chose to pre-judge her and keep her at arms length because she looks different from them. At the same time, I feel as if she is my little secret and doesn't have to shared, haha! Now that I am MUCH better sometimes I swing by her house and pick her up on my MC and we ride out to St. Augustine for lunch, giggling like schoolgirls along the way. We stop at craft shops and admire other people's homemade jewelry. Then we return to our families and enjoy the rest of the week.

When I first watched Susan Boyle on youtube a few days ago, immediately she reminded me of my friend. It was difficult to see the grimaces from the judges as they spoke with Susan, and to listen to the laughter in the audience. It was obvious that the one on stage had a treasure that they obviously did not deserve to hear or even really know, and that made me even a bit angry inside. However, the singer chose to share her treasure despite the outcome--and that was her choice to make. Just as it is my friend's choice to go out and take risks to help others in my city, knowing full well that remarks will be made. Obviously these women have something over me which I don't understand, which I can't understand because of my own shallowness. Hopefully some of that goodness my Susan has will one day rub off on me.

[MedleyMisty]

1. Thank you

And now that you've posted about her here, others can know about her and give her the respect and admiration she deserves. I salute her. I also salute you, for being such a wonderful friend and writing so eloquently and also for your strength in dealing with cancer.

I think that some people don't get the Susan Boyle thing because well - okay, last night my husband said that at work someone had come and talked to them about personality types - like people-centered versus task-centered. And maybe the people who don't get why we like Susan's story so much are more task-centered. My husband is task-centered and doesn't seem interested in watching the video, but he politely puts up with me talking about it.

We see the person. They hear the voice and judge it on technicalities. It's just two different ways of perceiving and although the way that we perceive seems better than the way other people perceive it, it's not really.

Anyway - thank you so much for sharing your Susan with us, so now we can know her and honor her too.

[latebloomer]

2. I have an angel like that

a wonderful friend who helped me through the early stages of my leukemia and my stem-cell transplant. She was so devoted that she slept in my hospital room most nights, was there for my every physical and emotional need, put up with my various moods, supported me when I cried, and made me laugh my ass off. My husband was working and taking care of the kids, my mother, though well-meaning, drove me out of my mind, but Judy was my rock. She is also married but made me her priority and her husband, who's also an angel, supported that.

I'm well today, but I'm not sure how I would have gotten through without her.

And, yes, she too is not what our society would consider beautiful, but to me she is.