So, Diane von Furstenburg thinks women "must have children"

[Flaxbee]

because it is what women are made for. Quote: I believe that a woman must have children because I think that's what we're made for - we give life.... But I do believe equally that a woman should have her own identity outside her family - for her self-esteem, for her children, even for the respect of her husband. It's so important not to lose yourself. Women must work. If you don't, it's bad for you. It doesn't make you a better mother to stay home; it is the worst idea. Women work anyway; they might as well get paid for it. And your children will thank you for it, because otherwise you're too much on top of them."

From Town & Country Feb. 2009


Hmm. "MUST" have children, AND work? I guess it's easy enough if you've married into one of the richest families in Europe, allowing you to start your own successful clothing line (her jersey wrap dresses are genius), allowing you to hire all the freaking help you need to care for your kids ... while you're out working.

I generally like DVF, but after reading this interview ... meh. Of course, she's entitled to her opinion, but people telling me I *must* do something tend to irritate me. Especially when they're speaking from incredible privilege, living with the kind of wealth that 99.9% of the world will never see and thinking that they really understand what it's like to be a working mother.

What do you think?


edited, then erased edit.

[azmouse]

1. I guess she's never heard of infertility or

heard that some women just aren't cut out to be mothers.

[Flaxbee]

2. or just don't WANT to have kids.

I don't want kids. Never have. I adore my nieces and nephews, that's enough. I'm thankful that my husband feels the same way. We dote on each other, and our cats, and are very happy.

And honestly, work can be so consuming, I really cannot even fathom having to care for a child, to give him or her the attention and love they would deserve.

[Pierre.Suave]

3. But, what does Susan Boyle think?

It had to be done, you know it...

:rofl:

[Flaxbee]

4. no, goddamnit, it didn't have to be done

:grr:

[Midlodemocrat]

5. I don't know Flaxbee, I'm kind of siding with Pierre.Suave on this one.

:hide:


:rofl:

[Flaxbee]

7. no no no no no! I'm going to have a tantrum!

I'm already having a tantrum! AAAAGH!

No more, please, dear god, no more!

[MajorChode]

6. "should" would have probably been a better word than "must"

Yep, she probably overshot the bar just a tad on that one.

[Flaxbee]

11. just a tad. But even 'should'

is a bit bossy... Excuse me, but just because I have ovaries and a uterus, I don't HAVE to do any damn thing I don't want to do! For some reason "should" irritates me even more - not sure why - maybe because it seems to be more judgmental.

[MajorChode]

15. Did I really need to include the graphic?

:sarcasm:

[skygazer]

13. "Should" would irritate me just as much

And I have children and have always worked. But I hate it when people toss out blanket statements like that and they so often seem to be about what women do reproductively. :eyes:

[Left Is Write]

8. She managed to hit quite a few hot buttons in just that one paragraph.

I think I'll put her in the category of "people whose advice I pay no attention to." (I have children and a job, but I also dislike being told what lifestyle choices I "must" make.)

[Flaxbee]

10. I know... I was just reading along, finding it pretty interesting, and

then, WHAM! That paragraph jumped out and, as you say, hit quite a few hot buttons. I'm with you - the "must" part of it really diminished her message. Especially since she's saying biology is destiny. Um, I don't think so.

[supernova]

9. That's a clunker for sure

I never wanted to have kids of my own. It was always way too consuming just providing for my needs, never mind those of someone depending on me. I'm happy with my nieces and nephews and all little crumb-snatchers who come into my life. ;-)

Just goes to show, money don't hide stupid.

Diane, I love your clothes and just like Chanel, you revolutionized how women dress, and I even agree with you about the value of work, but jeez let each of us choose her own appropriate path.

[Flaxbee]

14. ... and I have to say, if this had come from a woman

who had really had to hustle to keep a roof over her head or her children's, maybe it wouldn't irk me so much (provided, also, it wasn't said from a religiously fanatical point of view). Not to be classist, but uberwealthy people telling me how to live when I have sustantially fewer resources just doesn't sit well.

[UndertheOcean]

12. So , men are not required to have children , only women ?

How sexist

[Missy Vixen]

16. Well, bully for you, Diane

It looks like I "must" avoid the DVF label in the future.

It was my choice to not have children. I'm very content with that choice, and my husband had a large part of the decision-making as well. It's beyond arrogant for a woman who could afford the best childcare and schools for her own children to tell any other woman they "must" have children and they "must" have a career, without the vast resources she had.

Ms. von Furstenberg should stick with clothing design. Her "musts" for women suck.