I have been looking for a book like this for 6 years

[Droopy]

When I was diagnosed as having a mental illness called schizoaffective disorder, I went out looking for a book on the subject. All I could find was a book on clinical studies that was 20 years old, out of print, and not even available in the United States. I was able to find references to the illness in books about schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but no books dedicated only to schizoaffective disorder.

I didn't think that was right. The authors of the books about other mental illnesses claimed that schizoaffective disorder was just schizophrenia and bipolar disorder all mixed up in blender-like fashion and was really just a form of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. But as one who is afflicted with the illness and who has read books on schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and who has also had the pleasure of speaking to people who have been afflicted with each one of those diseases, I've come to the conclusion that schizoaffective disorder is a unique illness. Seeing a lack of literature on the subject I thought that maybe I should write a book about it.

Well, I've tinkered with the book and have also asked for help of other people who have my illness, and it just hasn't worked out. It can be exhausting enough to try to write every day while holding down a full time job, but when you consider the weightiness of the material for a book on mental illness and the fact that you have to delve into the most painful part of your life to get it, well, it proved to be too much for me.

But I was feebly attempting to give my collected essays on the subject another look and that led me to look again for a book about schizoaffective disorder, and I found one. It is called The Music of Madness by Tracy L. Harris and it is about her first-hand experience with the illness. It's 189 pages and I read the entire book in one sitting. I haven't done that in many moons. She has proven to be a stronger person than me because she went back to those horribly painful and dark experiences and put them down on paper for the whole world to see. I want to marry her. :D I at least would like to meet her at some point and she does speak at lectures on the subject of her illness. She is an active advocate for the mentally ill, too.

If you'd like to read the book, you probably aren't going to find it at a book store. I ordered it online and I forget where, but I bet that if you do a search for her name or the name of her book you will be able to find it.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Droopy!

I'm glad to hear that you've found this book! It's really satisfying when we finally pick up the thing that makes us see the topic coherently...

Especially when that topic is a dominant factor in our life!

Does she have website? I'm betting she does, and you'll be able to find out when she'll be lecturing in your neighborhood...

:hi:

[old mark]

2. D: You could probably find a few copies at abebooks.com.

they are a list of books offerred by a few thousand bookstores in the US and UK and their books are all listed in one search engine.
It's a great site.
Glad you found that book.

mark

[pitohui]

3. free online essay/book by michael crawford's struggle w. schizoaffective disorder

i'm surprised you never came across this one, michael's story about living with and becoming successful as a programmer with schizoaffective disorder has been available free for awhile and he is an accessible online personality who will participate in discussions, threads, etc.

don't get me wrong, he is not "cured" and from time to time, he has setbacks including delusions and he has been pretty frank about documenting his ups and downs online

here are the links to his story, called simply Living with Schizoaffective Disorder:

Part One:
http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2003/4/11/4127/09278

Part Two:
http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2003/4/14/154022/753


Part Three:
http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2003/4/18/153456/948


at one point i hoped to meet michael, alas it was not to be as his symptoms were really troubling him at that time, but there are a lot of insights there -- his symptoms can be very severe at times so it is amazing that he has been able to overcome and be a success in a difficult area (consulting)