Open marriages.

[BeachBaby]

I'm wondering if they work. If both parties are in agreement to the arrangement, can the marriage survive for the long term?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

1. yes, they do but both people have to really agree by what they mean by open

and be the right type of people for it.

sometimes i think one partner convinces the other that openness is healthy for them both, when thats not the case

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I think you're right. It certainly wouldn't work for me or Mr.

although I did have a dream about DS1 last night. :scared:

[BeachBaby]

4. This post is useless without details.

:popcorn:

[Midlodemocrat]

7. Would totally get your thread locked. He's probably hurling as he reads this.

:rofl:

[supernova]

8. It must have involved mayonnaise

:silly:

[Shell Beau]

10. Oooh!! Very very interesting!!

Do tell! :P

[Shell Beau]

12. I am sure they can work. I have a hard time understanding it though.

Just because it wouldn't work for me. But, we are all so different and want different things in relationships, so if both parties are for really for it, then it can work. But both have to be REALLY for it.



Edit: I am an IDIOT! I meant to respond to the OP and not to myself! :blush:

[skygazer]

17. Talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence

Or at least, I always tell myself that. :P

[hobbit709]

22. Talking to yourself is OK

Having losing arguments with yourself is a different story.

[Dr. Strange]

15. Interesting...

I had a dream involving TZ and B².

[BeachBaby]

16. That's not how I roll, babe.

[supernova]

6. I agree with that

both people have to be of the same mindset and be open about whatever conditions are set.

It wouldn't work for me, I'm a one man kinda woman, but bully for others who want to go for it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. it would work for me, it wouldnt for lisa, so as a couple we dont

but i can understand how one sees the emotional fidelity as seperate from the sexual fidelity

[MissMillie]

3. I have no idea

but for me, I don't understand: if one is going to have an "open marriage"..., why bother getting married?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. to some people the emotional fidelity is important and the sexual fidelity is not

historically, polygamy and polyandry have existed in marriages.

[flvegan]

5. No idea. I'm usually long gone before the husband finds out.

[RadiationTherapy]

13. Anything is possible, but I am very cynical about the potential of most.

My first thought being, those who are truly comfortable about it don't ask the question in the OP.

I agree mostly with Lioness; that if a person is "convinced" then it is unhealthy. I just want to add that I think this is more often the case then not. I also have seen this idea quite a bit in people who want to seem like they are "cool" about casual sex.

[TZ]

14. hmm I need to tread carefully here.

But if one is involved in a "trophy" marriage..where one is married to someone for appearances or for some other reason...perhaps then an open marriage is healthy. I have a relative who admitted he got married because it was considered the thing to do and that his spouse was of the same mind...and that they were better friends than lovers...I've never been brave enough to dig for details but I suspect they had an open marriage. I believe part of the reason they married was to satisfy certain members of both mine and her family...They ended up divorcing but staying good friends. They were tired of maintaining the deception.

[Deep13]

18. Makes sense in theory, but it is hard to imagine working in practice.

Jealousies and feelings of rejection are likely to creep in.

[Lyric]

19. Only if all people involved honestly want it.

Any kind of relationship dynamic can work if all people involved are comfortable with it and want it. In practice, I've noticed that closed poly relationships tend to last longer than totally open ones, though.

[Jokerman]

20. "We had an open marriage...

I just could never find the right time or place to tell my wife that we had an open marriage."


Sorry, just couldn't resist repeating an old "Kids in the Hall" joke.

[DFW]

21. Never tried it

As I am rather ecstatically happy with my wife, even after 35 years together, I'm not about to
endanger things anyway. I guess I'd be slightly curious, but I'm content to read about it in third
party accounts, factual or otherwise.

(When you hit the jackpot the first time, why continue to gamble?)

[Nikia]

23. Even if the husband and wife are alright with it

The other people involved can be a problem. While it is true that some people would enjoy "just sex" with a married person, many sex partners might want more and cause complications even if the married people intend to put the marriage first.

[supernova]

24. I dated a guy

that wanted me to be a "spare."

I learned over the course of three dates that he was 1/2 splitting with his main squeeze of 30 years and that they "were going to try and 'open' relationship."

I'm really not positive that the former MS was cool with the idea at all. But, I dropped him like a hot potato. I have no wish to be in a little Peyton Place.