Tom Cruise's Character in Magnolia - I've seen that happen to a lot of guys

[Taverner]

On the surface, it doesn't make sense. Father abandons the family, oldest son has to play "daddy" to the family. Oldest son becomes raving lothario misogynist. I have seen this happen to a number of guys. My friend in college, Reed - his dad beat up his mom, struck Reed in the face (who was then 13) and left. Never came back. Reed at 13 became the father figure of the family and practically raised his 2 brothers. Later in college, this guys HATES women, and does the whole "Seduce and Destroy" thing Cruises' character did.

And he is not an anomaly

Your thoughts?

[StrongBad]

1. Loved that movie and Cruise did a good job with the character.

Regarding your question, I'm an armchair psychologist, but perhaps such kids who have an abusive or absent father develop latent anger mixed with guilt toward their mother for picking such a loser as a mate. Thus, it could be that these unconscious feelings toward the primary female figure in their lives manifest and transfer themselves later in life toward all potential mates.

Those are my thoughts.

[raccoon]

12. Or else they are taking out their anger on the abusive or absent father

on potential mates, which is easier than fighting other males.

Interesting topic. Thanks for bringing it up, OP.

[HopeHoops]

2. I'm thinking of Shrek here...

"My father tried to eat me. He coated me in BBQ sauce and put me to bed."

[supernova]

3. I think part if it is also

that the mother in some of these situations relies too much on the older boy child and treats him as a substitute mate, psychologically. It forces too much responsibility on him too soon. He feels trapped. This interrupts his normal growth pattern into a healthy, responsible loving adult MAN able to treat women fairly. So he looks at every woman as a bundle of neediness just ready to use and move on so that he doesn't have to stick around for the trapped feeling he knows is coming.

[Taverner]

4. Wow - that's right

And it describes every case I know like that

[arbusto_baboso]

6. I think guys who are raised in that situation also seek to live out their lost childhoods, too.

This can manifest in an obsession with hobbies/collecting that seem a bit childish.

[msanthrope]

10. Bingo, supernova. I know so many men like that, with

mothers who used them as their surrogate spouse. These men then grow up hating women, because they can never really satisfy their bottomless pit mothers....

[applegrove]

5. I had the video of that movie. Somehow I heard it was about a misogynist. So I never watched it and

threw it out.

[Mike 03]

7. Fascinating question. You can't imagine how many times I have thought of that character over the

past year or so.

This analysis means a lot.

[Xipe Totec]

8. An underrated movie

Very profound.

[Mike 03]

9. Anything else you would recommend?

I am about to order Magnolia

Your rec's would be appreciated.

[Taverner]

11. PT Anderson's earlier movies are good too

I gotta say it took me a while to see Magnolia just because of Cruise

"Boogie Nights" was excellent

[Blue_Tires]

13. great role for Cruise...

for all the grief he gets here and elsewhere, Tom Cruise is still a great actor (even better when he plays bad-guy roles, like "Collateral")