I have decided to forgive someone....

[cleveramerican]

not because they deserve it,
but because I'm tired of carrying around this grudge.
I am forgiving him because its better for ME.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. That is usually the case...

Very intelligent of you!

Grudges are tough things to carry around.

[Midlodemocrat]

2. IMHO, that's the best reason to do it. Don't let them set your agenda.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

3. Is forgiveness a decision?

There are a couple of people I decided to forgive; but when I see them the old feelings roil.

It bothers me that I can't just let go and move on, but it seems to require more than a simple decision.

[VMSMI]

4. It hurts YOU to carry it around.

Godspeed.

[Swede]

5. That is a lesson in zen.

Here is the story-

Two traveling monks reached a river where they met a young woman. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her across. One of the monks hesitated, but the other quickly picked her up onto his shoulders, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other bank. She thanked him and departed.

As the monks continued on their way, the one was brooding and preoccupied. Unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. "Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked that one up on your shoulders and carried her!"

"Brother," the second monk replied, "I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her."

[NNadir]

6. I guess you never met my brother.

I keep warning my kids of the possibility that their Uncle will show up after I die.

[sammythecat]

7. I think forgiveness with no repentance

is just saying, "Ah, fuck it."

But will you really forget? You'll probably be reminded from time to time.

[cleveramerican]

8. I will just add him to the list of the weak and the stupid.

This is a very long list.
I have been both weak and stupid.
Hopefully not in the same moment.

This person was weak and stupid at the very moment I needed him to be strong and sensible.
I thought he would stand by me as a friend, he didn't.
Is that so bad after all?


It has taken me years to come to this view.

[MissMillie]

9. It takes a lot of energy to stay angry and hold a grudge

It's wise of you to recognize that your energy is better spent on other things.


I think that you'll find that learning this lesson makes you very powerful.

[KurtNYC]

10. as tough as forgiving is, forgetting is the impossible part

someone said the "give" in forgive is you giving away your anger. By all means do it if you can. Holding onto anger gives your power away.

[Deep13]

11. If you can, then good for you!

I think by definition forgiveness means the other person does not deserve it. Otherwise, it would be justice.