friends with benefits: vote here

[undeterred]

Poll question: friends with benefits: vote here

[astral]

1. What, nobody's talking?

There was once a guy I occasionally slept with never thinking for split second he could ever be any more than a friend. But I was pretty young and I was kinda pressured into the physical intimacy stuff not really wanting to get physically intimate with someone I wasn't romantic with. It didn't ruin our friendship but he as a very unusual person. Still is, I suppose, but he's got a gf and I don't the the once or twice a year phone calls like I used to : )

[Chan790]

2. Yes, please.

:evilgrin:

[ThomCat]

3. It can work, but not often.

Both people have to want it, and be open about it, and talk their way through it. How often do you find two people in that situation? It's rare that people want the same thing and communicate that well.

Usually one person wants sex and friendship, and the other thinks that this is an easy way to slide into a relationship without appearing to ask for a commitment.

:shrug:

I've been a friend with benefits and it was pretty cool for a while. I've seen it work well for others. I've seen it fail horribly and painfully with lots of drama and shouting and hurt feelings.

Be careful. Friendships are the most important part of this equation. Give up the sex if necessary to keep the friendship. You won't regret that in the long run. :)

[undeterred]

7. There has to be a solid friendship in the first place

or its just casual sex. I think the right circumstances happen every once in a while but you can't plan it. It happens or it doesn't.

[Forkboy]

4. In my experience, it depended on how long the arrangement lasted.

A few months seems to be the right cutoff date. Any longer and too many other expectations start to raise their heads, some possible, some not. A few months is good, and the friendship can go on afterwards with no ill will, at least if we're talking about two mature people.

For me, I'm not really interested in that kind of arrangement anymore, and haven't been for quite some time. While I don't make the mistake of equating sex with love, the two are both better together than separate. Friends with benefits gives you one (and a good one it is), but by itself it doesn't really interest me much anymore. After awhile it's just a sort of empty feeling, even if it feels good at the time.

Of course, relationships in general don't really interest me anymore either, for that matter. I'm pretty much done putting myself out there emotionally for anyone. I'm a loner. Always have been, always will be. I just finally accepted that recently, and so far I'm happy with it. :)

[Lucian]

5. I did it for four years, and those were a great four years.

Yep, you guessed it. It was when I was in college. I'm still friends with her to this day, but we don't have the "benefits" anymore. :(

[undeterred]

6. Kicking for more votes.