A VERY rigid backstage rider from a musician whose diet used to primarily consist of SMACK.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0422092lou1.html?link=rssfeed

Take A Walk For The Wild Rice
Why does Lou Reed hate hamburgers and tuna fish sandwiches?

APRIL 22--When Lou Reed performs with his wife Laurie Anderson, the avant-garde composer, the couple gives concert promoters a very detailed food shopping list, so that "we are not left eating hamburgers or tuna each day." A copy of the Reed/Anderson 2009 catering rider can be found below. While gofers in New York might be able to find most of the items on the list, it would probably be difficult for a production assistant in Tulsa or Boise to source that organic lamb, guava melon, or "LOCAL ORGANIC White Fish." (2 pages)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. Egg whites are a vegetable? n/t

[Amerigo Vespucci]

2. That's probably the smack talkin'...

:rofl:

[Left Is Write]

5. To be fair, it does say "vegetables, ETC"

:P

[Amerigo Vespucci]

8. FAIR! Does THIS sound FAIR?????

Here he comes, he's all dressed in black
PR shoes and a big straw hat
He's never early, he's always late
First thing you learn is you always gotta wait
I'm waiting for my man

:rofl:

[old mark]

3. For a good time, click here:

www.loureed.com


Found it last week. It moves.:crazy: :bounce: :hangover: :wow:


I really like Lou reed - he can eat whatever the fuck he wants.

mark 44-6

[Fran Kubelik]

4. good for him

And that's possibly the most politely-worded rider I have ever read.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. I agree. Very polite.

[tigereye]

23. yeah, I was impressed by that

[Pierre.Suave]

6. So do you want to tell him about all the sugars in the foods listed

or should I?

:P

[Lyric]

9. Funniest concert rider EVER: Iggy Pop

It's a classic.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/iggypop/iggypop1.html

[fishwax]

12. .

:rofl:

[tigereye]

24. I loved reading that- it's hilarious!

[Forkboy]

34. I've read that a few times now, and I still laugh my ass off.

:rofl:

[susanna]

37. Oh, that's fantastic.

Thanks for the link. I'm going to share it with my sis. She used to work for a large venue, and was responsible for making sure the riders were followed. She's going to get a huge kick out of that one! :-)

[sasquatch]

39. Man, those guys are a riot

:rofl:

[1gobluedem]

10. I hate contract riders

I think it gives many performers an excuse to be as eccentric or off-the-wall as possible. I had to do contracts for a blues and jazz festival for years and some were just insane. I still remember writing 'Buy your own damn Altoids' across one and taping 75 cents to it.

Just recently I had an event in the same building as a Morrisey concert; ours was in the daytime and his was in the evening. But his contract rider demanded that there be no meat in the building for 24 hours, even though he didn't get there until our event was over. I had to feed 25 volunteers what were basically salad sandwiches; they hated them.

I seriously considered renting a rib smoker and putting it on the loading dock, then widening my eyes and saying "What? You said no meat in the *building*, when his crew confronted me but I didn't have time. I *really* wish I'd done it after his soundcheck blasted out my event even though it wasn't scheduled until after we were finished.

I respect the guy's right to be vegetarian (or vegan) but he shouldn't impose his beliefs on others not associated with his show.

[LeftyMom]

14. I imagine it's hard to perform when the surrounding odor makes one want to throw up.

He walked off stage at Coachella for just that reason.

[flvegan]

16. I'd have the place exorcised before I went on.

I'd be the douchiest rock star. Axl Rose would have nothing on me.

[LeftyMom]

17. So like you now, but with marketable talent?

:loveya:

[1gobluedem]

19. It was a very large theater

And he never entered the lobby where I had my event. I really don't think a turkey sandwich or two would provide an offensive odor.

[LeftyMom]

20. Okay, I want you to put yourself in his pleather shoes for a moment.

You find something morally abhorent, vile to the senses and frankly disgusting. Coprophilia, let's say (I'm trying to think of something an omnivore would find analogously disgusting both ideologically and on a sensory level, so don't get all pissy that I'm comparing your slices of dead turkey to a floater, okay?)

People have an unfortunate habit of engaging in this behavior in your workspace. Your job requires that you do a great deal of deep breathing, and this is rather impacted if your workspace smells like a portajohn. You have both the ability to limit this behavior during your presence and a need to do so if you wish to perform free of annoying distractions such as the need to vomit because the area and the people in it smell overwhelmingly of shit. Do you put a "no eating turds in the venue" clause in your rider, or do you allow that a few smaller, less smelly turds- rabbit pellets maybe- might be eaten in an out of the way corner?

And yes, it really is that disgusting.

[Lyric]

22. I think the analogy is a little skewed.

With all due respect, I think it would be more accurate to say that the person who hates and is disgusted by feces insists that nobody have a bowel movement or pass gass anywhere in the building within the 24 hours before he gets there. We would all find that to be ridiculous, right? An inconsiderate bit of selfishness that adds unpleasantness and inconvenience to the day of the people who happen to be there before his act starts.

I can understand forbidding smelly things like barbeque, roasts, etc., or forbidding any meat to actually be COOKED there, because those things could leave a faint lingering scent for a day or so afterward. But honestly, to be realistic--cold cuts of turkey and ham don't really have much of a smell unless you have an entire truckload of them spilled all over the floor, and whatever scent *is* there from a tray or two in a break room would be gone within a few minutes of eating it, assuming there's a normal amount of ventilation and we're not talking a doorless, windowless, completely airless building.

1goblue, correct me if I'm wrong, but this was a concert venue, right? A big, open, well-ventilated space? And nobody was intending to eat in the main dressing room or on the stage? And the place would have been well-cleaned long before he got there? There is no sane reason to make such a demand other than self-indulgence. Even within four hours, I could understand, but an entire 24 hour period? Yes, that is unreasonable and ridiculously diva-like. Are other musicians equally unreasonable about their quirks? Absolutely. That doesn't make Morrissey less so. A douchebag diva is a douchebag diva, vegetarian or not. Promotors indulge them anyway in order to make $$$$$, but it's still easy to identify as assholery.

Go read through The Smoking Gun's concert rider list--some of the demands made of promotors are just ludicrous beyond comprehension. Morrissey is certainly in lots of self-important asshole company. I wouldn't be a promotor to save my life; I'd go out of business the first time some self-important popstar dickhead told me to make sure his M&M jar contained no brown ones.

[LeftyMom]

27. Yeah, but it's not just that he's disgusted by the smell

I would assume, based on his body of work and previous statements, that he's (rightfully) disgusted by the very idea. He has the power to temporarily stop something he sees as a great moral evil in one little corner of the world. Disgust or lack thereof aside, he presumably feels morally compelled to do so.

[petronius]

30. That's the part that makes him an obnoxious diva

If he was genuinely affected by a smell to the point that his work was impaired, then his demand would make sense. Otherwise, it's just douchery...

[mitchum]

29. Ironic since Morrisey has been looking a little...beefy...lately

[Left Is Write]

11. I notice he wants asparaGAS.

[kedrys]

13. Wait. Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson are married??

I did not see that one coming. :scared:

[tigereye]

25. they've been a couple for years... I think it's wonderfully cool!

It makes a weird kind of sense.

[kedrys]

33. I think it's pretty damn cool too

Why it never occurred to me (or them) 20 years ago, I don't know. :D

[graywarrior]

15. Everything in the extreme changes to its opposite

[rockymountaindem]

18. Well at least he didn't turn into some vegetarian D-bag

:hide:

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. If the obnoxious prissy twins don't want sugars, they better get rid of fruits and veggie columns

I know people who worked with those two - very closely - and they are apparently two of the worst people in the music world to work with.

Which is too bad, because they're both wonderful musicians/artists, esp. Laurie.

[tigereye]

26. bummer, I was hoping she would he cool to work with...

[Fran Kubelik]

32. me too

x( I love her.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

28. Bet they eat hamburgers and tuna when they're not working ...........

So this is their big chance to eat the really good stuff.

Organic.

Really cool fruits.

The "no sugar" thing makes me think someone's borderline diabetic and doesn't have a clue as to what fruits are made of.

Artists. Such tender folks ...........................

[Fran Kubelik]

31. or one of them is diabetic and one of them loves fruit

:shrug:

[elshiva]

35. Don't care. They are still geniuses.

:loveya: :loveya:

"O Superman..."

[Ellen Forradalom]

36. Touring musicians eat crappy diets, and neither are spring chickens

You can see this as being picky, or as being specific.

[sasquatch]

40. Yeah, there was a lead singer who died a few years back because of his poor diet

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

38. Hate to break it to him, but the only fish that can possibly be considered "organic" is tilapia

And organic tilapia is damn near impossible to find.