What does "become a whole person" mean to you?

[KurtNYC]

I met a woman last night who was struggling with some issues similar to the ones I am confronting and I said that 'I want to become a whole person'. She challenged me to define that in more specific terms. I thought that was a great idea. Part of the general answer is: To be a whole person is to be in a state where you are not seeking out pieces from others to fill or make-up for holes in your life, because you have filled or are filling them.

And I think of this like a beaver's dam -- it doesn't actually stop the water (problems). But it creates a calm livable place where the beaver can have a family. The dam survives storms because the beaver repairs it prompty and effectively. I may not get to 100% whole and that is okay as long as I get to live in a comfortable livable beaver pond.

I welcome your thoughts and comments, and your definition if you want to share them.

What does becoming a 'whole person' mean to Kurt ?

Emotionally whole
- getting in touch with and taking personally responsibility for getting my basic needs met every day

- sharing my concerns and worries with people who will listen, and in turn being there for them

- forcing myself to find and live within a healthy balance between my work, passions, creative outlets, chores, relaxation, nourishment and exercise. Not neglecting any of those areas. Making course corrections as needed.

Physically whole
- taking care of my physical health through proper rest, exercise, hygiene, stress reduction, sex and diet

- owning my energy and using it in the areas I choose to focus on

- taking care of my appearance in order to feel, enjoy and attract healthy energy

and Spiritually whole
- embracing and having my spiritual needs met, including:
* feeling connected to the spiritual realm
* having the Zen of feeling at peace with my role in this Life
* asking questions of, and listening to the answers of, my spiritual guides. Thanking them.

- getting back the Zen (aka Serenity) to not react in unhealthy ways to the stresses I face every day

- not allowing my Self to be pulled into pieces by the diverse stresses of money, time, relationships, luck, and all the thing beyond my control

Why become a whole person ?
Best and healthiest way to fully live throughout this lifetime.
Avoid bringing issues into a relationship that cannot be solved by the other person or that will limit the success of the relationship.
Be better able to help others achieve their fulfillment and happiness.

[Droopy]

1. I haven't thought of myself as fragmented since I started taking head meds

I was very sick back then. I'm just happy being alive right now, but I would like someone to share my life with. If you can take care of yourself and get along in life on your own, I think that's a pretty good indicator that you've got it together. Having a companion is the icing on the cake. I don't need any projects. I don't want to fix anybody and I'm not broke, so I don't need anyone to fix me.

[KurtNYC]

2. I kind of hadn't thought of that term, "broke" but

I do feel broken at the moment. In a more general way I am not trying to fix myself so much as build a skill set and regimine that serves me better than my present/old one. I hope I haven't tried to fix anyone -- I hope I know my limitations. I want to think less about blame and how I/we got here and more about potential and where we can go if we try.

[Droopy]

3. "...more about potential and where we can go if we try."

I think that's the way to go. Here I am now, what can I do to make my life better?

[KurtNYC]

4. I post for this for 2 reasons btw

one is to bust out of my shyness by opening up fearlessly.

The other was because other peoples' perspectives can fill in some of my blind spots. You got me thinking about "broken" and something popped -- I broke up with my spouse and then I had a breakdown.

>Here I am now, what can I do to make my life better

Yes. I didn't get to pick the timing of this crisis but it is here now, I am here now so this is an opportunity to make as many changes as necessary. Perspectives help me sort out the necessary from the less so. Thanks.

[Droopy]

5. You're welcome. That will be 5 cents. :)

It sounds like you are going through a rough time right now, Kurt. Be good to yourself, especially at times like these.

[MrsBrady]

6. i think of myself as already whole and complete...

it's the actual living like that that is the challenge.

I think in terms of "waking up" to what I already am.