Joke for the day- be careful how you phrase things! :)

[guitar man]

COWS, GOLF AND A WIFE

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asked him, 'What happened to you?'

'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.'

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.'

'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.'

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'

'I don't remember much after that...'


:rofl:

[Pool Hall Ace]

1. Hey! I like that one :)

I forwarded it to a friend who loves golf. Thanks for the smile! :)

(By the way, you may not be Les Paul, but I'll guess you're Les Dudek. Am I right?) :hi:

[guitar man]

2. my cousin sends me all kinds of whacky stuff

That's where I got this. :D

I'm not Les Paul or Les Dudek, but my first name actually is Les. :hi:

[Pool Hall Ace]

3. Oh, I know : ) I knew that from the 'first name' thread.

And Les Dudek uses a Les Paul guitar (at least he did for the 'Say No More' album). :hi:

[guitar man]

5. lol

I almost forgot about that thread. :crazy:

Oddly enough, I don't play a Les Paul, I play a boutique Strat :P

[jeff30997]

4. Lol !

I never heard that one. :rofl:

[Arkansas Granny]

6. From an email I got today:

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'

'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do
it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in..

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both
collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this ?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence'

[guitar man]

7. !!!

:rofl: :rofl: :spray:

[Dr. Strange]

8. !

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: