Help me sort out some minor parental drama!

[lightningandsnow]

In June, I'm performing at Pride weekend in my city. It's a short set, only about 20 minutes long, but I want people I know to see it. Including, possibly, my parents. If they want to go.

But, they're separated and they hate each other. There is no way they both can be there.

So, do I ask one and not the other? Do I ask both and hope one can't/doesn't want to go? The thing is, my dad's more queer-positive, so I think he'd enjoy himself more, but a relative or two from my mom's side will be there (well, a distant cousin from that side is definitely going), and I don't want to create awkwardness. In this case, would it be better for neither of my parents to go?

[LeftyMom]

1. They're adults.

Invite them both, and tell them that if they can't behave like responsible adults and focus on being proud of you instead of on their feelings for each other, that maybe it would be best if they sat at opposite ends of where you'll be performing and didn't interact.

If you honestly can't trust them to do that, then invite whichever of the two you'd rather have come, and if the other complains just say that you'd rather have had them both there and when they sort their shit out you hope it won't be an issue anymore.

I think it was probably a good five years after their divorce before my parents could be around each other without bickering, and ten before they could manage a polite conversation. My Mom lived out of state for a lot of that, so it wasn't as horrible as it could have been, but it sucks when the adults can't be bothered to act like adults.

[KitchenWitch]

2. exactly!

:thumbsup:

[Midlodemocrat]

3. Invite them both. I've been to family events where people despised

each other. They don't even have to speak to each other.

[Bossy Monkey]

4. What LeftyMom said, but you can be even more specific

"I'm inviting Dad, too, so if you come, stay far to the left of the stage, away from where he'll be."
"I'm inviting Mom, too, so if you come, stay far to the right of the stage, away from where she'll be."
All solved.

[jobycom]

7. This is the correct answer.

Here is your prize.

[lightningandsnow]

5. Thanks, guys!

:hug:

Now, I hope my parents can kind of be adults about it.

[Shell Beau]

6. Invite them both and let them figure it out.

They don't have to go together or anything. Just tell them it is important to you, and you would like them both to come and be civil if they happen to run into one another.

[leftyclimber]

8. TO Pride is HUGE, in case you haven't been involved before.

Even if your folks both come to see you perform, they don't have to be anywhere near each other, assuming you're performing at one of the outdoor venues. Even at the indoor venues they can sit apart from each other and hopefully be grownups by avoiding each other if they can't be civil.

Most importantly, this is YOUR day! Remember that they will act how they act and you have no control over that. What you have control over is whether you decide to let it bother you if they decide to make a big deal.

And if you're marching in the parade, wear plenty o'sunscreen and super-comfy shoes. The route is longer than it seems. (And I got words sunburned into various parts of my body one year I marched because the pen blocked the sun and I wasn't wearing any sunscreen ... oops! :rofl:)

Have fun, and have a little extra fun for me, if you would be so kind! I miss Toronto Pride HORRIBLY. It's a really special event and I have really fond memories of it.

[lightningandsnow]

9. Haha, Toronto Pride WINS!

This is going to be my third year going, and every year, I seem to get more involved. I decided to apply to perform at the youth stage, not knowing they approve basically everyone! (They're run by an LGBT youth organization, not directly by Pride Toronto) Haha! I'm super-excited.

And, yes, I never burn, except at Pride, where I always get scorched no matter how much sunscreen I wear. And the sunburned words thing cracks me up....:rofl: