What would you do if you found out your child was dating a moron?

[LeftyMom]

This isn't my situation, thankfully my kid is too young for me to have to worry about such things. But his half sister is a teenager, and her Dad is in a bit of a pickle trying to figure out how to suggest to her that maybe her boyfriend isn't such a hot prospect, future-wise.

She's 16. Her boyfriend is talking about joining the Marines after high school, so he went down and talked to the recruiter and scheduled his aptitude test. Well, he just got his scores back, and he got a 38. That's barely above the minimum to pass (for some services it's below the minimum,) any stupider than that and apparently you're too dumb to shoot things without killing yourself. It's too stupid to actually train for anything that will be useful in the real world, apparently he'll be enlisting as a bullet catcher and meatshielding people with useful skills.

She's a sweet girl, but she's from a farmy little town in Ohio and her mother's an idiot, so she's not real long on life experience. What I want to know (so I can tell LK's Dad, who is at a loss for how to deal with this) is there any nice way to tell her "unless you want to raise a pack of dull-eyed, slack-jawed, desperately poor children when you grow up, you should really try to find a boyfriend who isn't so bloody stupid the Marines will barely take him?" Or would it be better to just tell her straight "Honey, it's a percentile system, so 50 is average. A score of 38 means your boyfriend's been abducted by aliens who cleverly replaced his brain with a potted plant."

[Shell Beau]

1. That is a tough one because 16 year old kids are "know it alls".

[LeftyMom]

3. And hormonal to boot.

The last thing her Dad wants to do is cause her to cling to this kid out of stubbornness. He just wants her to realize that this kid's future prospects are a bit dim, considering his serious lack of mental horsepower.

[Symarip]

2. I scored a 90-something on the ASVAB

It's not that hard of a test. You either have to be stupid or intoxicated not to score above a 50. And even if you do well, it might not be saying much (look at me).

I would opt for the brutally honest route.

[LeftyMom]

5. Her Dad had a 92, and he's a fucking idiot.

Maybe she'll take it better from me? I don't have that whole "father figure trying to fend off the boyfriend" thing going on.

[pitohui]

12. wait...her mom is an "idiot," her dad is a "fucking idiot" ?

have you considered that as the child of a moron and a fucking idiot, this girl is not just "sweet" or lacking in "life experience," that she too is quite likely a fucking moron and another fucking moron as a boyfriend is likely the best she can do?

it is a reality that stupid people are going to breed w. other stupid people and i honestly don't see how you can do anything about it

sorry, in the situation as described, i would do nothing, she is NOT your child, she is the child of two other stupid people and probably a perfectly suitable companion for a young stupid person

god give me the wisdom to recognize things i can do fuck all about! you can never stop stupid people from breeding together, they don't have the ability to think ahead that a normal person does, that's why stupid people never figure out why they keep having all those kids whilst normal/intelligent people actually plan ahead to have a set number of kids


edited -- ack, i couldn't keep track of who was the moron, who the idiot, and who the fucking idiot, but i think i have it straight now, mom's the idiot, dad's the fucking idiot, and boyfriend is the moron -- hmmm, i am sure these are all highly accurate technical terms :-)

[LeftyMom]

13. I should clarify. Her Dad has a genius level IQ and zero common sense.

She's well above average, but very sheltered. Her mother is probably right around average, but is a rural Jezoid who studiously tries to avoid using what little intellect she has due to a slight obsession with fitting in with the other rural Jezoids in Bumblefuck, Ohio.

[ThomCat]

4. I'd try the direct, honest approach.

If her score is higher than his she'll get over it and thank her dad for it later. :)

Unfortunately, if her score is close to his, she'll defend him and stick to him like glue. But then perhaps in that case she should. :(

[LeftyMom]

6. Ugh, but if she takes it too, then she'll have recruiters calling.

She's naive enough not to realize that they lie.

[ThomCat]

9. I was thinking about her figurative score.

Not implying that she should actually take the test. :P

[HopeHoops]

7. Perhaps time will solve the problem

If he is out of the picture, another may fill in that need for attention and the problem may just go away.

[azmouse]

8. She's dating George Bush???

:P

[jmowreader]

10. The three-step procedure for solving this:

Step 1: Bring daughter into locked room. Be sure there are plenty of soft drinks and snacks therein.

Step 2: Tell daughter you have an educational movie you'd like her to see, and that she has to watch all of it. Insert Idiocracy into your DVD player.

Step 3: Ask her if she really wants to bear Frito's children. For some strange reason, seriously stupid mofos like this guy have one innate talent: the ability to cause smart girls to agree to unprotected sex with them.

[Sebastian Doyle]

11. Does Pickles know??

Hopefully he'll get the same treatment as her ex boyfriend :evilgrin:

[flvegan]

14. So, your mom finally said something to you about it, huh.

[LeftyMom]

17. Are you kidding? If we ever break up my Mom might ask for your phone number.

;)

[flvegan]

18. Dude, really?

That'd be kind of hot.

:hide:

[LeftyMom]

20. You're only saying that becaue you haven't seen my mother undressed.

:scared:

[Sabriel]

15. You'll have to ask my parents.

Bah dum tsssch.

[nickgutierrez]

16. Make her watch "Idiocracy".

She'll get the hint.

[American Renewal]

19. LMFAO

I have to thank you for this thread, as I have been laughing my ass off reading your original posts and the responses that have come after.

As the dad of an 11 and 12 year old girls, this is the worst nightmare I can imagine. It is here where the right wingers have us, as they would simply call out for someone to bring their shotgun, spit some tobacco at him and explain that "he best not set foot here 'gain, m-kay?".

Some people prescribe to the reverse psychology theory. Start spending time with him, when he's not there tell her how much you respect him, and ask when he's coming over next, and stuff like that. I am not one of those at this point, as I am utterly honest with my girls about everything.

I wish you luck with the pest problem. But if she does cling to him, you can pray that natural selection kicks in before they reproduce.

[surrealAmerican]

21. If she's a reasonably bright kid, she probably isn't thinking ...

... that the guy she's dating when she's 16 is who she will be spending the rest of her life with. Just keep talking about what colleges she'll apply to, and let her date the occasional idiot. If you feel like you need to talk birth control, that would be a good idea.

[DarkTirade]

22. Third vote for the Idiocracy route here.