My wife picked up a disgusting parasite--please advise!

[Orrex]

Here's a picture of the horrible thing:



She wants to bring it into the house right this very second god dammit, and she has my sons conspiring against me on it.

For all I know, it's patient zero in the whole swine flu thing, so at the very least we should take it in for routine maintenance.

Somebody help me talk some sense into her---please, before it's too late!

[KitchenWitch]

1. Resistance is futile.

[Orrex]

2. I don't like you anymore

:grr:

[KitchenWitch]

8. Well I am only a chatbox anyway.

[Orrex]

17. You don't have to convince me

I've suspected all along!

[Xipe Totec]

49. Resistance is feline

:rofl:

[ThomCat]

3. Congratulations! You now have a beautiful new member of your family.

:hug:

What his/her name? :)

[Orrex]

7. Right now, I refer to it as 'your shameless whore'

Every time it comes around for a feeding, it plops its cat ass right in front of the door and turns on the pathetic.

We're in talks to come up with a more family-friendly appellation.

[TZ]

4. Its a bird killer! Get rid of the monster! :P

What a cute cat! How do you think the other felines in your household will react? Because you know..THEY are the decision makers, not you, not your wife, not the kids...;)

[Orrex]

9. One of our beasts passed away in November

On election day, as a matter of fact. This one will be a successor to that ridiculous orange paperweight.

The other cat is kind of weird. It doesn't like the kids. Or us. Or itself, as far as I can tell.

[TZ]

10. Sorry about your other cat...but knowing the feline mind

what do you want to bet that your weird cat that hates everyone or everything will ADORE the new cat...:)

[Orrex]

15. So far, the only thing that the current cat likes is bleach-soaked rags

Can't quite figure it out, to be honest.

He's as dumb as a post. In fact, when one post wants to insult another, it says "you're as dumb as that cat."

[Withywindle]

56. Well, obviously you were in need of a ridiculous orange paperweight.

One will ALWAYS show up to fill the gap, sooner or later.


(I'm sorry about your loss.)

[old mark]

5. It's saying, "Hello, Dad."

Give me something to eat and show me your bed so I can sleep on your pillow.

You are hooked now.

mark

[Orrex]

11. Sleeping arrangements have been as follows:

The cats sleep next to my wife but on top of the covers, so that I'm afforded a six inch strip of sheet running the length of the bed. If I balance just right, I can cover part of my ass with it as I slumber.

[old mark]

63. You realise this is subject to change without notice.

We share our bed with a cat and a dog. Guess who has their ass hanging out every morning.....

Welcome to the real world.
mark

[MorningGlow]

6. Gasp! Pretty!

Give it up. I can see the kitteh has already exerted his mind control over 75% of your household (perhaps more--how many sons?) You may have escaped succumbing to Teh Cute (TM) for now, but you will be his...oh yes, you will be his...

Welcome your new feline overlord.

[Orrex]

13. The universe sent this thing to bedevil my existence

I must confess that I have a soft spot for orange cats.

At the moment, as my wife has hastened to remind me, the cat is curled up in a corner of porch trying to stay dry and warm on this cold and rainy day.

[mikeytherat]

12. Watch out! If they don't mesmerize you with their eyes, they'll take drastic measures:

Just look at that tummy. You know you want to scritch it. Scritch the kitty tummy...

What were we talking about?

mikey_the_rat

[Orrex]

14. Well you're no help

Thanks for nothing, you sell-out!

[mikeytherat]

16. Don't blame me, blame Weird Harold. It's his tummy.

mikey_the_rat

[Liberal_in_LA]

20. Like those hardwood floors... and the kitty is cute also

[mikeytherat]

21. Floors are Virginia Yellow Pine. Kitty is Mau/Oriental mix named Weird Harold.

mikey_the_rat

[Lorien]

60. Kitty bellies!

Your cat looks even more comfortable. Probably because he lives in one of the cleanest homes on DU.

[mikeytherat]

66. The cleanliness is my doing. I have severe allergies to dust and dander,

so I have two options: keep on top of the cleaning and de-furring of surfaces, or have no fuzzies. Since Option 2 is not an option, I went the neat-freak route (and the hardwood floors route).

mikey_the_rat

[JitterbugPerfume]

18. awwww!

pretty kitty!

[Orrex]

19. I'd swear that he knew I was taking his picture

Note the tail wrapped about the feet, in the classic, calculated "pity me" pose.

[Arugula Latte]

22. You must bow down and worship a kitty like that.

Beautiful! :loveya:

Where did s/he (I'm guessing "he" 'cuz it's orange) come from?

[Orrex]

25. He's a neighborhood stray

At least he was until he got his hooks into My Good Babushka. Now he's a de facto member of the family. :eyes:

[Duer 157099]

23. I take it you haven't seen the thread about God being missing

cuz if you had, you'd know who took him and where she brought him!

[Orrex]

27. Well, I saw him throw up in the neighbor's yard about four days ago

Wasn't particularly god-like, but who am I to question the infinite mysteries?

[My Good Babushka]

24. I do not have a parasite!

I have a pretty new kitty! Let me bring him in the house!

[Orrex]

26. Pay no attention to that woman behind the keyboard

Clearly she's delusional, under the spell of that orange interloper!

[TZ]

28. Meanwhile the poor thing

Is out in the rain and it's making your wife sad..when momma's not happy ....NOBODY's happy...

[lizziegrace]

32. TZ speaks the truth

:)

[Arugula Latte]

33. You do have a parasite ... His name is "Orrex."

:rofl:

We've got your back, Babushka!

What do we want?! ... For Orrex to cave so My Good Babushka can bring the pretty new kitty son into the house!!
When do we want it?! ... NOW!!

[Orrex]

36. You shut up! Shut the hell up!

She's out there on the porch right now with the parasite and my two sons.

"Let's bring him inside," the older boy just said.

:mad::grr::mad:

[LibertyLover]

70. Just give in now - it will go easier with you in the end.

I'm not a cat person, I have 4 dogs, but that is a cute cat and deserves your love, food and shelter. Just admit it and start getting on with life.

[Blue Diadem]

42. Around here, we ask, he says no and we do it anyway.

We've never had a cat my husband wanted, but he sure loves them once they are here.

[lizziegrace]

29. You're on your own on this one

Lucky you. ;)

[Orrex]

37. This is the last time I come to the Lounge for support.

Thanks a lot, Lounge!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

30. You have been chosen.

You must not refuse.

[Orrex]

39. There was a time when I had control over my life

Or the illusion of control, anyway.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

50. Once you recognise it is an illusion, you've taken a giant step

evolutionarily speaking.

Is evolutionarily a word.

[LNM]

31. That cat is going to be all over you.

My daughters and I wanted another cat and my husband said no. Of course we ignored him and when we brought the new kitty home she was all over my husband. Cats know these things. She is now his cat. Get ready, here it comes!

[Arugula Latte]

34. That's a good policy when it comes to kitties. Ignore husband/father opinion

and do as you see fit. Works every time! :)

[LNM]

45. I don't do it for anything else

We pretty much make all our decisions together, but the kitty thing, naw, and he loves that cat.

[Orrex]

38. I know, I know.

And the more I ignore it, the more tightly it will cling to me.

That's how I know that the universe hates me.

[Blue Diadem]

35. Your family has been adopted. You have no choice now.

What kitty says goes. You have officially been chosen and there is no help for that.

Beautiful cat.

[Orrex]

40. Here's a shot of our last orange cat

Dignified. Majestic.

Henry, Cat of Fire.

[Blue Diadem]

41. awww cute. Looks like he had a good time

at the party the night before.

[Deep13]

43. Cats are a great way to enjoy having a box of shit in your house. nt

[DeepBlueC]

51. you speak the truth!

:D

[Sultana]

44. Cute Kitty

You know you love it :P

[Critters2]

46. She hasn't heard of the Kitteh Flu?

One can never be too careful!!

[latebloomer]

47. Aw!

You obviously came to the wrong place for support.

He's a beauty!!

[Xipe Totec]

48. Dude, don't make her choose - you will loose n/t

[DeepBlueC]

52. no one with a heart could say "no" to that face

:loveya:

[DeepBlueC]

53. is the cat inside yet?

Don't come back until you can answer "yes, of course"

[Orrex]

57. For that answer...

See this thread

[texanwitch]

54. Congrats on the new cat.

My orange kitten just moved in.

They do that kind of thing, no use fighting it.

[Withywindle]

55. I thought you were going to say she's pregnant!

Just a cat? Relatively harmless. :D

[crimsonblue]

58. You should skin it to be sure it isn't an evil robot

hell bent on your destruction....


OR...... quit going on acid trips. Your call, really.

[FloridaJudy]

59. It's a conspiracy!

They've already hit my place...

[Orrex]

65. Every damn cat in the neighborhood is coming around to our house now

Including one that, at a glance, might have been a panther.

[FloridaJudy]

72. Those big orange cats

Always have lots of friends. Mine does too.

[Jamastiene]

61. Ok, I can caption that pic for you.

"Ready or not, you have been assimilated."

Orrex has a caaa-aaat.
:rofl:

[Zavulon]

62. Run, Orrex, run.

KitchenWitch was right with the first response. You're toast.

Sorry, bud.

[AirmensMom]

64. Whatever you do,

don't let it in the bed. Some local ones have been known to never leave. This is especially important if you have a waterbed (yes, they love waterbeds) or pillow top mattress. If this is unavoidable, redecorate your room to match the parasite's furry parts. Otherwise, you will be doing laundry daily. :P

[MissMillie]

67. Well, until I saw the picture

I was going to tell you that there was really no need for you to have such low self-esteem....



:hide:

[LynneSin]

68. OMG that is the cutest parasite I've ever seen

You want another one - trying to find a home for stalker cat

[GreenPartyVoter]

69. Looks very much like my Pretzel, and if he's even half as sweet you have just been blessed.

:D

[Iggo]

71. Oh, thank goodness.

I thought she was preggers...lol.