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I am so mad at my husband right now.

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:41 PM
Original message
I am so mad at my husband right now.
He was picking up Bells from daycare today. He failed to mention that he had several other stops to make on his way home. And his phone has been off. I have been freaking the fuck out because he should have been here well nover an hour ago. And since he wasn't answering his phone.... I do tend to freak out a little more than normal (I blame feeling this way on the car accident that killed my brother). I hate that feeling you get when you are scared about something bad happening.

His ass just got chewed to hell and back. Well deserved. And he rarely deserves an ass chewing, but I AIN'T having that shit. Fucking tell me if you are going to be way later than I expected when you have my precious cargo.
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:42 PM
Response to Original message
1. Awww....I'm sorry, Shell
:hug:

And yeah, he did deserve it.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:43 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I called him like 15 times. My heart was pounding.
My mind starts going to the worst damn scenerio. Thanks!
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bicentennial_baby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:45 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. That happened with Sniffa one time...and he had been in an accident
I totally know the feeling. :)
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:47 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. So scary!
:hug:
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sniffa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #4
24. But I was the one calling you
It sucks when you have a one car accident. x(
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:44 PM
Original message
You have every right to be mad and smack him for me...
I will never forget realizing that an hour had gone by, and that feeling.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
6. I hate that feeling. That pit of your stomach feeling.
:hug:
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:44 PM
Response to Original message
3. that's a normal reaction, things change so much when you have a baby.
i used to freak over stuff all the time but it got a little easier as she got older, now i freak out different stuff that will be happening in her life.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:46 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. REally after my brother died, it changed me.
I realized that people do die. And not just old people. And now that I have a child... I saw what it did to my mama. It is scary to love something so much. Wonderful but scary.
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AlCzervik Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. Shell when my daughter was about 6 months old her pediatrician discovered she had
a heart murmur and i fell apart literally, turns out it was an innocent murmur but for a couple of weeks my life stayed still and i couldn't see tomorrow. Anyhow she grew out of it like they said she would and she's fine but that was the moment it really hit me that if anything happened to this kid my life would be over.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:52 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. That would be so scary.
When my other brother had his children (way before my boo came along), a light came back on in my mom. A light that went out when my brother died. It nearly killed her. The love you feel for your child is so strong. That is what makes it scary at times. Glad the murmur was nothing.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:03 PM
Response to Reply #10
25. Oh, Christ I remember that. The pediatrician telling me BoyM
had a murmur.

I still remember the flip flops my stomach did.

He did outgrow it, though, thankfully. Given his father's cardiac history? We have to be really, really careful. Mr. had no symptoms, no indications that anything was wrong and well, you know how that ended up.
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TheManInTheMac Donating Member (512 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:48 PM
Response to Original message
8. Be sure to tell us how the make-up sex goes when this is over...
...and it will be over. Right?
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Yeah, not so much! I am still shaking.
Sometimes he just doesn't think.
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Mike 03 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:52 PM
Response to Original message
11. Right after having a baby, everything changes. I saw my sister go through this too.
It's normal, and I'm sorry you had to experience that kind of terror/upset.

I can't say I've been in your shoes, but I have definitely seen how women change after they have babies. It is fantastic to behold, and it's very real.

Hugs to you and your precious family
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Thanks! It is amazing when you put it like that.
You'll do anything to protect your baby.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
14. Welcome to my world
:hug: Only, I don't have children. But it has taken many years for my husband to realize how worried I get when he says he'll be home at one time yet actually returns home hours later.

It can be very scary.

So, out of curiosity, what was his reason for not answering his phone?
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:58 PM
Response to Reply #14
18. It was in his truck. He stopped by some of his job sites with Bella
in tow. He left his phone in the truck which he does often. But I bet he won't again. Not after the chewing he just got. Unacceptable.
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Haole Girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. I'm glad it had a happy ending...
and hope it didn't take too many years off your life! ;-) :hug:
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Whoa_Nelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
15. As Chewing, Lesson Learned
Edited on Fri May-29-09 06:55 PM by Whoa_Nelly
and it better stay that way! :hug:

Sorry you had to go through all that...
I'd have been freaked and pissed, too.

It's all about Bella in that situation, and no one else.

Hard to have to go through and all.
You are 100% right. :hug:

(hope you and husband are hugsville again already)


:hug:sville

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:00 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Lucky for him I forgive and forget easily.
He always says one of my best qualities is my ability to forgive. But, he better not be relying on that. It won't happen again.
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
16. WTF????? He better takje care of my LDKB
I haven't taught her to purr yet.

Haruka's done that, too. It's scary.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #16
21. It is scary. The mind is a powerful thing.
I'll get Haruka do go redneck on him!! That'll learn him! :P
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:49 PM
Response to Reply #21
32. She is a nidan in Isshinryu karate, remember -- and also knows some Aikido
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:10 PM
Response to Reply #32
36. This might be fun!!
:woohoo:
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. I know Aikido and iaido
However, I don;t feel like losing any mor teeth or breaking my nose again, so me, you, and my Little Delta Kitten Baby can watch.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #38
41. Perfect! Works for me!
I have had a broken nose before as well. I will sit this one out! BEsides, my husband needs his butt kicked by someone other than me for a change! :7
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keroro gunsou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:59 PM
Response to Reply #32
44. lost-san
does haruka-senshu know any shunpo?
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
17. Honey? You want the swarm to gank him? We've been kind of underused lately
and need to train.

Sorry. Know how you feel. I don't know why Mr. even had a fucking cell phone because he never answers it.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #17
23. I'm calling on the swarm to come on down to MS for a good ole ass whipping!
You need to be careful though. You are carrying precious cargo your ownself! :P
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #23
29. *gasp* SHELL!!!!! et tu, et tu?
:rofl:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:13 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. I know! I went there. See what happens when I lose my cool?
I betray even the bestest of people! :o
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CreekDog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:01 PM
Response to Original message
22. I know where you are coming from but don't make it sound like he's not your precious cargo too
right? :hi:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:03 PM
Response to Reply #22
26. He is. And I used to get angry with him for not letting me know
he would be late, but I felt like he knew better than to have my boo with him and not let me know he was going to be late. Apparently I was wrong.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
27. I'm glad they're home, safe and sound...
:hug::hug::hug:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:09 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. Yeah, they aren't home yet. He finally answered his phone.
Still about 45 minutes away. And that is another thing. Miss Bella usually goes to bed around 6:30. She hasn't eaten or bathed yet. It keeps getting better I tell ya! Too bad I don't have a dog house! I have the dogs but they are way above a dog house, so maybe he can just sleep outside where the dog house would be if I had one!

:P

Thanks!
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
31. Reality check. He made it home safely with the cargo.
I would suggest a gentle kiss on the back of the neck and an "I'm sorry for getting so pissed off. I was just worried."

At least that's how I would handle it. I'm coming up on my 22nd anniversary in two weeks.



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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:49 PM
Response to Reply #31
33. Ok, well he isn't home yet. I have talked to him, but he is still not home.
Edited on Fri May-29-09 07:51 PM by Shell Beau
And I am not going to apologize for getting so pissed off. I am just not. I was/am mad and for good reason. I will happily welcome them both home when they finally arrive, but there is no reason to not let me know he was going to be soooo late. I was in tears, and I don't cry. Ever. And now to top it off, she will come home hungry and tired. Her bedtime is 6:30. I will forgive him of course, he didn't mean to be thoughtless, but I am not going to say sorry for getting mad.



Congrats on the 22 years! We have been married 7 1/2, but have dated since we were 15! Crazy I know. So 15 years together, almost 8 of those married.
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 07:54 PM
Response to Reply #33
34. Well, we met in Dec 84, so technically we're at 24 1/2
That's a good time together. Seriously, the thing I learned is "What is it I'm going to be apologizing for tomorrow?"

Generally, the argument isn't as relevant the next morning. Although it CAN result in some outstanding sex! I'm just saying, try to stay calm. If you've been with him that long, he's got to be a good guy, right?

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:08 PM
Response to Reply #34
35. He is a great guy. And I am a very forgiving person.
I do forgive him for not thinking, but I will not apologize for getting mad over something legitimate. If I am wrong in getting mad, then I will apologize (Most of the times anyway. I am stubborn, go figure). This will be forgotten about tomorrow, but he will have also learned a lesson. Or at least he better have.

He is a wonderful guy. You just can't even get mad at him, except when you can! Like tonight. He didn't do it to be ugly. He just didn't think. And he realized what he did (or didn't do). I am lucky to have him. But the feeling I had earlier was too real to apologize for. I am so happy they are both home NOW safe and sound.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:12 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. I think as Moms we all forget that Dad loves the little bugger as much as we do.
Hard to believe, I know.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #37
42. Yeah, I know. She has him wrapped around her tiny little finger.
A million times. But still....
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #35
39. I wouldn't apologize either
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
40. I hope that by the end of the day all will be well,
the baby will be happily asleep in bed, a lesson will be learned, all will be forgiven, and you have a good night. :loveya:

It's a damned good lesson for him to learn. Though I'm sorry he worried you. :hug:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #40
43. Thanks! Your name should be Mr. Voice of Reason!
You always have the right thing to say! :hug:
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latebloomer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
45. I'm so sorry about your brother
Edited on Fri May-29-09 09:48 PM by latebloomer
You have a good reason to be anxious about this stuff, and your husband deserved a good tongue-lashing. In a marriage it's crucial to communicate about your whereabouts, esp when you know your partner tends to worry.

But, as someone who tends to go into a panic, always imagining the worst when I can't get ahold of my husband or especially my teenagers, I have been trying to work on this because it is so bad for me emotionally and physically. I've been meditating, and also find it helps to try to tune into my inner self, disregard the screaming panicky banshee, and ask, "Is this person OK and safe?" And the still small voice always says "Yes!"
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