It is nearly impossible to help people who are puddles of destroyed emotions.

[graywarrior]

Can't do it. Not gonna happen. Just tell them to keep coming and things will work out and that's ALL I should say...nothing else.

[UndertheOcean]

1. Ain't that the truth.

[graywarrior]

2. And the truth hurts more than anything.

[UndertheOcean]

3. I don't know , it's a beneficial kind of hurt , methinks

[graywarrior]

4. So freaking necessary or you end up doing the same thing over and over expecting .

different results. And never giving yourself a freaking break.

[Gormy Cuss]

5. Yes, that's true. Becoming whole again takes a lot of work and a lot of time.

There's no quick fix. It's a very hard pill to swallow but it's the truth.

[graywarrior]

8. I'm dealing with two puddles right now.

You can't sweep them into a dustpan, you can't mop them up with a sponge. They are so not hearing a thing anyone says to them. They are their emotions through and through.

[Gormy Cuss]

12. I really hate it when that happens to me.

I wish that I could fix them and be done with it but I'm too old to believe that I could do any such thing. Ugh.

[graywarrior]

14. No wonder the most powerful thing they say at meetings is "keep coming"

You don't get anything until you hear it enough and live it enough. But first you have to hear it.

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. I wouldn't say "puddles of destroyed emotions", but "addicted to emotional dysfunction"

and also the term "undifferentiated" can crop up a lot in some situations.

The puddles of destroyed emotions generally recover quickly and snap back in a day or two - those people can be helped.

It's the people who are addicted to having their emotions destroyed and addicted to dysfunctional relationships and dysfunctional emotional capacity - those are the people you'll never be able to help.

Especially when they also have absolutely no sense of differentiation.

These are generally people who end up in the lower classes, poverty-stricken, for whom every situation that crops up is an emergency, and who yell more than they speak, and declare more than they converse, and talk about insignificant shit (like other people) more than they do ideas, and settle all their interpersonal conflict through passive-aggression or immediate physical/verbal abuse.

Their children - and they often have many - tend to grow up only by fact of distance from birth day, but never emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually; they remain instead of dysfunctional teenagers or, I have often seen, dysfunctional 10 year olds.

They rant and rave and piss and moan about how everything that's fucked up in their lives - and that amount is legion - is the fault of everybody else; and when mature and adjusted people come along and point out that most of the fault is the result of their own behavior, they retaliate with abuse, scorn, and derision, even though they say that they're looking for help.

[UndertheOcean]

9. +1 n/t

[blue neen]

10. You are very wise.

"They rant and rave and piss and moan about how everything that's fucked up in their lives - and that amount is legion - is the fault of everybody else; and when mature and adjusted people come along and point out that most of the fault is the result of their own behavior, they retaliate with abuse, scorn, and derision, even though they say that they're looking for help."

I know the person you are talking about...I truly do.

[graywarrior]

13. I just had a sponsee fire me because I told her to stop living in her story

[graywarrior]

11. Exactly.

Addictions that keep the powerless powerless. It is excrutiationg to watch.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Excrutiating, indeed. Often it's because the negative dysfunctional shit is the only thing

that ever got any attention from anyone in the past, and so that's all they know. "Everything is fucked up, I know, but this is only way I know to get people to care about me, at least in some fashion, and the only way I can find any sense of esteem - my life can't be good, so I'll compete in the 'who's life is crappier' event".

Even though simple logic easily proves the benefits - health, income, prestige, anxiety, basic ability to deal with the world on your own terms - of not being so fucked up.

[graywarrior]

17. See, this is why they have new comers sponsor new people.

So they can get out of their own heads and help someone else. Puddle's heads rip them off every god damn day as long as they keep thinking about themselves and their problems. I had a friend who used to tell people, "Hey, don't just stand there whining. Go help someone."

[BarenakedLady]

15. Zactly.

:thumbsup:

[BarenakedLady]

7. Ya think?

:crazy:

[leftyclimber]

18. But we can still try.

Because it is an act of love.

[graywarrior]

19. It's acts of benevolence and human kindness that keeps us sober.

Selfish in an unselfish sort of way.

[DeepBlueC]

20. how do you destroy emotions?

I've been settling for escaping them but maybe I ought to up my game.