Orlando Assistant Coach Patrick Ewing Counsels Dwight Howard On How To Lose NBA Title

[sniffa]

Since the NBA Finals began, Magic assistant coach Patrick Ewing has been sharing his vast knowledge of how to lose the title with Dwight Howard, carefully but emphatically advising the center to concentrate on making crucial mistakes if he wants to put his team in the best position to lose. "Dwight, if you want to misdominate this series, you have to get creative with those turnovers and be willing to commit stupid technical fouls," Ewing said Monday, encouraging Howard to expose his ballhandling deficiencies by dribbling as much as possible. "You gotta be soft in the paint. You gotta waste energy. Let them push you around and box you out. And if you get the ball, drive as hard as you can toward the sidelines and look for the panic pass." Ewing reportedly stayed after practice to help Howard work on throwing the ball away and missing free throws.

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[Zomby Woof]

1. The Onion delivers once again!

:rofl:

[sasquatch]

2. *rimshot*