I am a virgin.

[elshiva]

Yes, I am. That should come to no surprise to anyone though.

[LeftyFingerPop]

1. Me too!!

[elshiva]

2. No, seriously I am a virgin. I never had a real life boyfriend or girlfriend, either.

[LeftyFingerPop]

3. That's OK Elshiva...

It will happen whenever the time is right, and the timing cannot be forced.

Live your life...one day it will just happen.

[elshiva]

4. The sex fairy will just come along and poof!

Instant sex. WEEEEEE!

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. Respect before sex darling...

Sex is not the first goal. :hug:

[elshiva]

6. I'm very horny, though.

:blush: :hide:

[LeftyFingerPop]

7. There are men that will have sex with any woman, anytime...

You don't want that man.

You want the man who wants YOU, and he will arrive in time.

[elshiva]

8. Maybe, but I don't mind being an old maid.

[madinmaryland]

9. That picture caused a shitstorm in GD a couple of years ago.

Of course everything causes a shitstorm over there.

:shrug:

If you want to stir some shit up, post that over there.

:hi:

[elshiva]

10. Why is that a controversial picture?

[madinmaryland]

12. Someone (a guy) posted the picture saying that ...

he could understand why these women's husbands were drunkards. I think he was "trying" to be funny, but it was a fail.

As I said, GD brings out the worst in people.

[elshiva]

13. GD does bring out the worst. That's why I stay in the Lounge.

:hug:

[madeline_con]

16. But that IS funny!

:rofl:

[madinmaryland]

17. Uhmm.

Feel free to post that for the humor impaired folks over there!

:hi:

[pokerfan]

27. Reminds me of a line from The Money Pit

Shelly Long and Tom Hanks:

Walter: It's a big house, we'll divide it up! You stay in your half, I'll stay in mine!
Anna: That is such a dumb idea. Sometimes it amazes me you ever passed the bar.
Walter: I'm sure it does, you've never passed a bar in you life.
Anna: You are so much less attractive when I'm sober.
Walter: Thank goodness it's not that often.
Anna: All right, that's it!

[SoxFan]

31. A picture of Mo the Kitteah would cause a shitstorm in GD!

[mainegreen]

33. .... how?

??

Crazy GDers

[Juche]

18. I'm 29, neither have I

Its not the end of the world. I'm not trying to invalidate what you're going through, just giving my perspective on it. You can get emotional fulfillment from friends and family if you look for it. It can be embarrassing at times and I usually don't talk about it because of that. But its really not so bad and I've mostly made peace with it. But almost everyone has some insecurity or vulnerability about sexuality. Either how desirable they are, or problems with relationships or something. Basically everyone is insecure about something so you aren't alone, people in relationships have tons of problems too.

Being someone whose self esteem is so battered that they'd rather be with someone who is emotionally, verbally or physically abusive because you are afraid of being alone is worse than being a dateless virgin in your 40s.

And some people go their whole lives only having 1 boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe they meet someone in high school, get married and stay together. So again, the leap from 0 to 1 is not huge, and I have no idea who wrote the rule that someone who has had 1 bf or gf and is in a crappy relationship with them is acceptable but those of us who have had 0 gfs and bfs are freaks.

So yeah, not having and never having had (and making peace with the fact that you may not in the foreseeable future have) a gf or bf can make you feel vulnerable and unwanted. I've been through that. I'm just saying that in my experience getting emotional gratification from a good relationship with yourself, with friends and with family is more important than getting a gf/bf. But yeah, it can make you feel unwanted and undesirable. And it is hard to deal with at times.

[I Have A Dream]

30. ...

:hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

34. That's the most mature post on relationships that I've ever seen in the Lounge.

:hug:

[siligut]

11. Oh hell0

I just want in on this thread. Plus, a big hug for elshiva.:hug:

[elshiva]

14. Thank you. Why do you want in on this thread?

:hug: :hug:

[Beacool]

15. It's a personal decision.

Whenever you do meet someone with whom you want to have sex, make sure that he's patient and considerate. Men think that they are great lovers, but too many are far from it. It's important that he take things slowly your first time or it can be painful and not a nice experience. Also, safety first. No condom, no nookie.

Take care and good luck.

:)

[Bucky]

19. Another great virgin: US Supreme Court Justice Benjamin Cardozo

Benjamin Cardozo never married, never dated, and in fact never showed any interest in women or men. He seems to have lived an entirely celibate existence, as did all but one of his six siblings. He is considered one of the leading jurists in the court's history and, until the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor, the only jurist of Iberian heritage. Cardozo was a reliable and brilliant liberal voice on the court, standing up for the rights of the workers, consumers, and the protection of communities against the vagueries of powerful corporations. And, like you, he never got his freak on.

[elshiva]

20. Thank you, Bucky.

:toast:

[ThomCat]

21. That is a surprise, actually.

You clearly appreciate sexy, if not yet sex. I would have hoped you have found a good person to start playing with. :hug:

But all in good time. You'll get there, and once you get there you'll have lots of time to jump in the deep end and get really good at it. :)



I'm now forced into celibacy because of bad health and strong medications. All the desire and most of the ability is still there, but dealing with serve chronic pain and so many health issues involves way too much pain, too many painful side effects and a far too many painful complications. Sex becomes too much torturous, agonizing, effort for no reward. It's not worth it. Celibacy is by far the easiest solution, and I really have to say celibacy is not the horror that some would have you believe.

I now really appreciate hugs, and maybe an occasional cuddle. It's the contact that is important. I want to feel someone touch me and know that they are there. That's all that is important. Sex is for other people now, and that's perfectly okay.

I had an active sex life for a long time, so I don't feel like I'm missing anything. :shrug:

[elshiva]

23. If you weren't gay and were feeling better, I'd play with you.

:hug: You are sexy, honey. I am hoping you will feel better. Best of luck with getting SS sorted out. :hug:

Yes, celibacy can be a lot of fun. After all, I wanted to be a nun. I think I really want to be an old maid. Don't think I can handle a relationship. I do think about sex a lot and I KNOW that I am bisexual.

Yes, my back and stomach are killing me, which makes it impossible to do a lot of the stuff I fantasize about. Maybe it's just as well that I have crushes on gay men.

I'm glad that you did have a sex life. I am so proud of you for being an openly gay man. It means so much to me and all the other GBLT DUers. :hug:

[Iggo]

22. Oh dear god, people. Do some sex. (n/t)

[elshiva]

24. Okay.

[madinmaryland]

25. with myself?

:shrug:

[DarkTirade]

26. If I had the chance I'd ask the world to dance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8DT0aw9-Ks

[jeff30997]

29. Dammit !

"This video is not available in your country due to copyright restrictions."

Well isn't that great ?

[jeff30997]

28. Mmmm...poptart free thread...

[no name no slogan]

32. Gimmee a T! Gimmee an M! Gimmee an I!

What's that spell?

[struggle4progress]

35. for me, it will always spell "the nuclear meltdown near chocolate town"