If I were the president of the US, I'd be very tempted to abuse my power to solve three problems:

[Rabrrrrrr]

1) Eliminate the people in the mafia
2) Eliminate the people in the KKK and other hate groups
3) Implement some kind of national standard for anyone who wants to be a "bartender" that they actually fucking know how to make the classic cocktails and stock actual liquor that real, decent human being want to drink, and not just the faddy sugary ignorant shit that's so popular amongst the great unwashed illiterati who seem to be the majority in this country. I mean, for fuck's sake, in a world of turmoil and chaos and everything being higgledy piggledy, don't we all at least deserve to be able to go into any bar and order a Negroni, an Aviation, a Sidecar, a French 75, and so on, and not have the bartender look at us like we're a fucking alien?

Just sayin'.

Seriously, though, I have dreams of being the president just so I can create some kind of clandestine group that will go around and 'neutralize' - without trial or "proof" or public record of their deed - mafia, KKK, and other hate group members. Clearly unconstitutional, highly unethical and immoral, and probably just downright evil. But I'd be tempted to do it.


And historians will debate for years what was going on.

"Geez, under President Rabrrrrrr's 8 years, the murder rate went up like 4000%, but he also seems to have done something about the mafia, KKK, and other hate groups, because they disappeared, too. Is there a link? We'll never know..."

[flvegan]

1. At least the mafia (in America) used to provide a valid service.

A number of them, actually.

[DarkTirade]

3. Coincidentally, that service kept the aforementioned bartenders working....

[quakerboy]

2. What I dont get is why we cant

get all the radicals to do some sort of MAD on each other. Get the Mexican and the KKK groups to go all in and take each other out. introduce the Nigerian scammers to the Russian Mob, and toss whoever is left in a pit with the pro life crazies.