Just overheard some guy saying he was going to babysit the kids while his wife ran errands.

[Hello_Kitty]

Now, unless they are a pair of professional child care providers, which I doubt, I'm going to hazard a guess he's talking about his own children.

IT'S NOT BABYSITTING WHEN THEY'RE YOUR OWN DAMN KIDS!!!!!


:grr:


Pet peeve of mine.

[MrCoffee]

1. Hallelujah, preacher!

[pitohui]

2. i guess i don't get why this is a pet peeve, tho i've heard this before

of course it's babysitting, "ownership" of the kids is irrelevant unless you're assuming because he's the dad he's fucking off and not bothering to watch them at all?

trust me, plenty of "professional" babysitters are also fucking off and not really bothering to watch them at all also...

kids are not property, if ANYONE can "babysit" them then ANYONE can "babysit" them, if by babysitting them you mean that someone is watching them who isn't their official "owner," all i can say is lincoln freed the slaves

and that's my pet peeve...if you use the term "babysit" at all, it is equally offensive or non offensive to use it for a parent as for someone who is not the official whip wielder and slave holder

[Pithlet]

4. Parents don't babysit their own children.

A babysitter is someone who watches someone else's children, usually for pay. No one would ever say a mother is babysitting her own children. That's why when a father says it, he's implying that a father isn't really supposed to be doing that, that it's woman's work. He's parenting. Not babysitting.

[Orrex]

12. Holy moley is that ever fucked up!

:wtf::wtf::wtf:

Even Dictionary.com gets it right:

ba⋅by-sit
  /ˈbeɪbiˌsɪt/ verb, -sat, -sit⋅ting.
–verb (used without object)
1. to take charge of a child while the parents are temporarily away.

The point that you're missing--for some strange reason--is that the act of babysitting is, by definition, performed by one who is not the parent of the child(ren).

[surrealAmerican]

25. It's not about "ownership", it's about responsibility.

To say you're "babysitting" implies only a temporary responsibility, just until the parent gets home. If you are their parent, your responsibility for the children doesn't end when the other parent gets home.

[soleiri]

3. Yes!

Also a pet peeve of mine.
I cringe every time I hear it.

[KG]

5. that's why i never had kids. i didn't want to have to babysit them.

:hide:

[Captain Hilts]

6. Good call on that!

[jobycom]

7. My wife used to say that when I left the kids with her.

It's just an expression.

[Orrex]

13. *SOMETIMES* it's just an expression

It depends on context, no?

[jobycom]

16. I guess if I actually paid her to babysit them, then it wouldn't be an expression.

Otherwise, it's just an expression.

[Orrex]

17. Actually, if they're actually her kids, then she's not actually babysitting them.

[jobycom]

27. Actually, I guess I don't actually know what you mean, then.

:P

If she's not actually babysitting them, then it's always just an expression, isn't it?

[Crabby Appleton]

8. If you sit on babies they throw up

[Generic Brad]

9. Now that's a gray area

When our daughter acts wonderfully, my wife refers to her as "my daughter", but when she misbehaves she is suddenly referred to as "your daughter".

Something that could have been in play with the whole baby sitting meme.

[Hello_Kitty]

10. No. He was very matter of fact about it.

He was babysitting.

[Generic Brad]

11. Then your pet peeve is justified

I agree. Parents don't 'babysit' their progeny.

[ZXT]

14. I don't know

Baby sitting for me is "looking after" a child whether its your own or not.

[SeattleGirl]

15. That's messed up.

Stupid idiot needs to realize that they are his CHILDREN, not someone elses.

Parents don't babysit their own children. They CARE for them.

Or they're supposed to.

One of my pet peeves too, Kitty.

[raccoon]

18. Amen to that! nt

[AngryAmish]

19. wrong

[Iggo]

20. Sitting with the babies is babysitting.

In this case, I think the problem might be more with word usage than with attitudes about gender roles. In this case...

[One_Life_To_Give]

21. It's the implication that it's not normally his responsibility

It's the implication that it's not normally his responsibility that bothers. A Primary Care giver doesn't use the term "Babysitting". Usually "Mom" or "Dad" is sufficient. Or perhaps says "My spouse isn't here to Babysit while I ...(Shop, visit, whatever)

[grace0418]

23. Instead of "My spouse isn't here to babysit..." one could say "My spouse isn't here to watch

the kids while I..."

[PRETZEL]

22. I babysat my kids once,

just once.

After that, I was raising my children.

It is true, you don't babysit your own kids.

[redqueen]

24. Huge pet peeve of mine, too.

It's not a difficult concept to understand. To me it gives the impression that the parent saying it does not consider themselves to really be a parent in anything but a biological sense. As in, if their spouse was there, they would not be expected to care for the kids so long as the actual parent is around... i.e. they only act as a caregiver when the actual parent is gone.

[mopinko]

26. unless they are actually babies, and he actually sat on them, then

:puke:
pet peeve of mine also. my MIL used to do it all the time. one of many reasons she was one of the most evil MIL of all time.

[MissMillie]

28. I'm with you on this

Mostly because you never hear a man say that his wife is babysitting the kids. It's a sexist statement that implies that it is not his responsibility to watch his own children.

[kwassa]

29. Sitting on babies? Call Child Protective Services RIGHT NOW!

otherwise ..

my wife and I use the expression all the time, depending on who will be sitting on the baby that evening.

[Deep13]

30. step-children, I bet nt

[LeftyMom]

31. I can beat that.

A friend of mine was engaged to marry a man with two grade school age daughters from his prior marriage. A few weeks before Christmas she and I went out to buy them some new clothes and she left his kids with him. After about an hour (which was barely time to get to a store and parked, let alone find anything, pay and head back) he started calling every ten or fifteen minutes to ask when she was going to be home because he "didn't want to be stuck babysitting on a Friday night."

So not only was he "babysitting" his kids, his girlfriend should get home and watch them, rather than buy things they needed out of her paycheck (he wasn't working, naturally,) so he could go have fun (on her dime, while she watched his kids,) never mind that they're not actually HER kids at all. The implication was clearly that his parenting responsibility ended when he rolled off of their mother and went to sleep, and that my friend had at some point become solely responsible for his kids in his mind.

I'm glad to say my friend didn't wind up marrying him.

[Hello_Kitty]

33. Damn!

I don't know who I feel more sorry for, your friend or the kids. :wow:

[LeftyMom]

34. Neither of them have to deal with him anymore.

The kids live with their Mom, and my friend ditched the jerk and married a guy who loves her and treats her well. My friend is still in regular contact with the kids, which is more than I can say for their neglectful creep of a father. He's since fathered two more kids, one has serious medical issues.

[XemaSab]

36. I'm glad for your friend

but it sucks for the kids. :(

[LeftyMom]

37. They live with their mom.

She's great, but they've had a hard time. Mom remarried and had a son, but then her husband died suddenly very young. But at least for a few years those girls had a daddy who loved them and spent time with them.

[BlueIris]

32. Oh, that's ugly.

Poor kids. With that kind of dipshit for a father, they'll probably grow up to be serial killers.

[XemaSab]

35. Word

n/t

[raccoon]

38. I think this ties into this thread.

"…society does not expect men to act like compassionate, decent human beings, so any time someone does, folks are blown away. I've watched guys be praised through the roof for caring for their small children (while it's taken for granted their wives will do this) or helping with child care in any way, too. It's like too many folks don't have the expectation that men should act decently, and that decent behavior should be the rule, not some extraordinary exception.

Which drives me nuts. Because I know too many decent guys to believe this isn't the way the world ought to just work, and every time someone assumes a decent guy is unusual, the give all the guys who aren't so decent a "this is how guys are" excuse for it."

http://jimhines.livejournal.com/364144.html?style=mine