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Thought I'd cross-post.........
Hi ya'll:
I have not been here for awhile....I went to a very dark place.
I spent all last week in intensive care at the hospital. THAT was all kinds of fun, let me tell you. While I was in there, my husband of 25 years talked them into keeping me an extra 3 days, so that he could sell everything of mine that was not embedded in concrete for pennies on the dollar, loaded the rest in my truck and horse trailer, and lit out for parts unknown.
He totaled the nice little Saturn I had bought him brand new a few years ago, in April. That apparently entitled him to take my rig, and leave me with no transportation whatsoever.
His Census supervisor buddy up the road bought my tractor, all of the attachments (bushhog, blade, auger), my new riding lawnmower, and two expensive chainsaws, for a pittance. I need that equipment to run the farm. She is also saying, yeah--I knew you were in intensive care in the hospital (he apparently called her even before he called 911 on Sun.), but screw you, I got mine and you're not getting them back. Some of my sister's (deceased) gold jewelry also looks to be missing, along with a whole lot of other stuff. HE STOLE MY DRESSAGE SADDLE. I can't even ride. That was just plainly vindictive.
25 years of marriage, together for 26......... Everything was great as long as I was making the 6-figure income and buying him everything he wanted, including a new car every time he totaled one (I think it was 6).
He also sold, for $22, 22 of my rare breed laying hens. I'm still trying to get my daggone chickens back. They are pets, they all have names. It took me forever to track them down. He told this old couple that I had died. I said, I will give you your $22 back and free eggs for life. They don't care. 22 rare breed laying hens, and he sold them for less than a buck a piece. I supply about 5 families with free eggs, plus feed my cats, dogs, and myself. Plus, they left the door to the coop/pen open, and all the little bantams they declined to take got out for the coyotes. They also left my back gate open, and the Toulouse goose and Larry, everybody's favorite Guinea, got so scared at being out in the dark, they came into the yard, and the dogs got them.
He tried to sell the mini-donkeys, and one of my good friends talked him out of trying to sell the horses (for which I would definitely have tracked him to the ends of the earth and killed him), because there is NO market right now. My buddy/part-time farmhand came in the next morning after he'd split and found the horses with no water in 100+ degree heat. He would not let my friends water my vegetable or flower gardens. He was trying to make sure I was left with absolutely nothing.
The main problem is going to be that Calif. is a community property state. But that also means, anything that he sold, I was supposed to get half of. He stole all of it, including both bank accounts. He cleaned out the personal account, then went thru my purse and found my check card and pin # for the business, and tried to clean that out. They wouldn't let him have all of it. He's not even authorized on the account. The only money I have right now is what some of my very good friends sent me. One of them also made the downpayment on my divorce.
Of course, he claims he left me just enough money for a plane ticket back to my brother's, the one time I got him on his cell phone. I said, why the hell would I want to go there. He said, I'm not leaving you any choice--you have to go live with your brother and sleep on his couch. I said, you would think, after all these years, you would know, !) Don't tell me what to do, and 2) Don't tell me what I cannot do. He's trying to make sure I lose the farm.
So I'm going to have to bust my butt more than I already was, and try to make a pile of money again. While also taking care of everything to do with the farm (which I pretty much did already), plus file for divorce, file for bankruptcy, deal with health issues, AND finish up with this same lawsuit that's been dragging on for the past 5 years that I've written about several times here.
A huge factor in what happened was how much the husband changed since he lost his job two years ago. He's been riding a rocket downhill. We had progressed from mental and verbal abuse, to physical. Constant screaming. He could not talk to me in a normal tone of voice anymore. And if I wouldn't stand still to be screamed at, he would grab me and hold me, or block the door and shove me back so I couldn't escape. He's 6'4", I'm 5'6". That's why I always kind of laughed when people would say, he is just the happiest/nicest guy in the world.
I'm actually feeling pretty good about that constant stress being gone. I kept telling him to leave when he would go on about how much he hated this place. Apparently he saw his chance. I said more times than I can count over the past few years--if people knew what you were really like, they'd have nothing to do with you. He was really good at playing the game. He let the mask slip every once in awhile though.......snd scared the few people that have seen it, shitless.
We were in the middle of doing a mortgage loan modification, so don't know what they're going to say about all this. I'm not losing my farm. Its what keeps me going. Its my sanctuary.
I guess you have to ask.......why were you in intensive care? I, um......took 3 full bottle of Vicodin. And the rest of my antidepressants for dessert. I'm life long manic-depressive/bipolar, as is/was everyone else in my family. The husband knew this, but never wanted to hear about it. Never wanted to deal with it. Just kept maximizing the stress as much as possible.
So that was my Independence Day......Independence Week......or How I Spent My Summer Vacation. There's an awful lot to deal with here, all of it dumped on me, but please--no lectures.
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