How did YOU get "THE Talk"?

[MiddleFingerMom]

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MiddleFingerMomDad was mildly emotionally abusive to us kids, belittling us out of
his own insecurities... so he was no one we could talk to about things that WE were
insecure about.
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I remember asking MiddleFingerMomMom "What's sexual intercourse?" Of course,
I knew what it was, but I was so mortified to be bringing it up with her that it's the best
I could do.
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She hemmed and hawwed and told me that was something to discuss with my father.
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Of course, that never happened -- and I learned like many of us... from my equally
ignorant peers. Thank goodness for my life in Germany or I would have been one
pretty sick li'l pup (though I think it's fair to say that the attitudes that I look upon now
with revulsion are fairly widespread in OUR culture.
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Any FUNNY stories about it?
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Have you GIVEN it? Any funny stories about that?
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[Tobin S.]

1. My mom bought an animated movie made for the occasion

It took years of therapy to get that out.

Well, not really, but I think I would have rather learned your way.

[kentauros]

2. I didn't get one. Ever.

And.

Single Income, No Kids.

:P

[Lucian]

3. I never got "the talk" from my parents.

I had a sex ed class in eighth grade and learned about it there. And porn. That helped also.

[kentauros]

5. As much as I seriously wanted it, there was never sex ed in the South.

So, I learned about it reading my brother's issues of Heavy Metal :D

[tabbycat31]

4. health class in middle school

my parents to this day have never brought it up and probably never will.

[elleng]

7. Same, except after, my mother asked whether I had any questions.

'Who me? Nah!'

Fine, OK with me.

[Mojambo]

6. Never got it. Didn't want it. At least not from my parents. n/t

[Swede]

8. Episode 13,season one of South Park.

Cartman: Mom, can I ask you a question?
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hun.
Cartman: You know how my friend Stan has, like, a dad?
Mrs. Cartman: Uh-huh.
Cartman: And my friend Kyle has a dad and my friend Kenny has a dad?
Mrs. Cartman: Yes?
Mrs. Cartman: Well, what's your question, hun?
Cartman: Goddammit, do I have a dad?!
Mrs. Cartman: Oh!
Cartman: I wanna know where I came from.
Mrs. Cartman: Oh. Hmm. Well, you see, Eric, sometimes when a man and a woman are attracted to each other, they want to be close to each other.
Cartman: Uh-huh...
Mrs. Cartman: And sometimes the man puts his hoo-hoo dilly in the woman's cha-cha.
Cartman: So who put his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha?

[MrMickeysMom]

10. Gee... that must happen a lot!

Sounds like what we heard years ago!

[MrMickeysMom]

9. My brother's version, as described to me recently...

Our aunt actually answered his questions, as he was too embarrassed to talk to our mom. Then after, he says...

"Let me get this straight.. A man puts his thing in a woman's vagina and pees, and 9 months later a baby comes out?"

My aunt said something like, ..."Ahh... that's about it, yay-uh"

[Recovered Repug]

11. It was really simple for me.

My dad sat me down and I asked him "What do you want to know?"

[OmahaBlueDog]

12. I can tell you how I gave the talk

With my older daughter, some how, some way, when one of "those" questions was posed, Mom was never within 1000 yards. So, when we we were at he mall, and she wondered what the billboard sized ad for Kotex was about, I explained it. I've had to explain the Trojans and Cialis ads as well. When one of the "key events" of a young woman's life took place...mom was out, and I was home.

I'm telling the younger daughter to ask mom.