Vibes please. Just found out one of my son's friends has died.

[bluesbassman]

Just happened a few hours ago. Apparently he has lost his battle with addiction. We've known this boy since he and my son were in the third grade. Pretty close with his family too. I keep thinking it just can't be true, but I know it is.

I've talked with both of my kids already. Just let them know that no matter what they're feeling they can always come to me to talk it out.

Vibes for the family please, it's going to be a rough new year.

[Richard Steele]

1. Dying sucks. Dying POINTLESSLY at a young age is so much worse.

I have known so many people who died pointlessly.

Talk to your kids. That's all you can do, and maybe it seems like it aint much,
but it's the most important thing you can ever do.

[bluesbassman]

3. So true.

I had a few friends go the same route in my youth. I guess some things just never change. It's harder still as we just saw him on Christmas Eve. Seemed to be in good spirits, but you can just never tell when addiction and depression are involved.

Thanks for the comments.

[Richard Steele]

7. Just keep talking to your kids. I think the only reason that I've never taken the 'easy way out'....

...is because my family NEVER lied to me about what that was about.
My family are not the most touchy-feely folks who ever came down the pike,
but they are brutally honest when they ned to be.


I've been dealing with addiction/depression issues since I learned to
spell words that ended in "ion", and my family has a long PROUD tradition
of SUICIDE.

My mom's oldest brother, the serial loser who could never hold down a job....
Tried to OD on meth, got revived by an ambulance crew,
and then finished the job a month later by starting his car in
a garage with the door down.

Mom's oldest sister, a career Army Officer with security clearances
"up to here"....she cleaned and oiled her newly-issued M9 sidearm before she
carefully placed it into her mouth and squeezed the trigger.

Dad's brother Tom- he had a wife AND a 'girlfriend' for as long
as I can remember. 20 years he had that going on.
His wife and his girlfriend knew each other, they were good friends,
and I was in awe of his ability to keep that 3-way thing intact....My ds
We were all very surprised when he stuck that .38 in his ear and
made a huge mess all over the wall.

That crazy pill-freak chick my dad met when I was 13.
Stuck a gun in her ear in his driveway, and no one was terribly surprised.


My step-brother Michael. The single most handsome man
I have ever met.
The last time he and I were together at my Dad & Stepmoms house,
we bumped together at thge fridge.
I was removing the sidearm I carried at the time,and placing
it atop the fridge because his Mom had asked me to to so.
He was placing a LONG 3-part list of Womens' names next to the telephone.

His list went something like:
1: Hand me the phone
2: I'll call them back
3: Tell them they have the wrong number.

That was 1996, and I actually MET "Miss West Virginia 1995"
that weekend, and she was the fifth name on his #2 list.

10 months later, Michael stuck a Beretta M52 into his mouth,
and my Dad managed to mop most of the mess out of the stairwell
before my stepmom got home.


It seems that I owe you an apology, since I've been rambling on
so long that I've forgotten what we were talking about
in the first place.

[zanana1]

34. You've known alot of losers....

At least you know you're not one of them. I hope you remember that their problems were their own and have no relation to you. Onward and forward!

[Skittles]

21. it always sucks

my dad killed himself; my brother drank himself to death - it's so very hard because I cannot ever remember even good times with them without remembering how they died :cry:

[Richard Steele]

30. Yes it always does. All the poeple I remember most are the people who LIVED, not the people who died

[KT2000]

2. Vibes for the family

and your kids too.

[bluesbassman]

4. Thank you.

My son and daughter seem to be taking it about as well as can be hoped for. I think I'll keep 'em pretty close for a bit though.

[MiddleFingerMom]

5. MiddleFingerMomTom, my older brother and HERO...

.
.
...died of an overdose at the age of 33. No one in the family could (nor
wanted to) believe it. We were all completely unaware of his problem.
.
Thirty years ago and it sometimes STILL sneaks up and smacks me in
the face that he's no longer with us.
.
.
Horrible -- young and completely unexpected.
.
.
During the holidays makes it much worse.
.
.
.
.
.
My vibes for strength and healing and understanding to the family and
all those close enough to be affected.
.
.
.
.
.

[bluesbassman]

6. Thanks MFM. Sorry for your loss.

I've had three close friends go that route. One in our teens, one in our twenties, and one in our thirties. Although I can understand how a person can get in that state, it just never makes sense.

Thanks for your vibes and for sharing your story.

[abq e streeter]

8. I'm so very sorry to hear this.

I'm glad that you've let your kids know they can come to you and talk if they need to.Meanwhile, my heart aches for the friend's family and all of you who knew and loved him. I always feel so damn awkward writing stuff like this, but I hope and pray his soul has found a peace that eluded him here.

[abq e streeter]

9. And to Richard and MFM...

I feel the same awkwardness for knowing what to say, (or rather not knowing) , but I also hope you've found some peace and acceptance over the years.

[bluesbassman]

14. Thanks for prayers my friend.

I hope and pray for the same for him too.

[NewJeffCT]

10. I'm very sorry to hear this

Your family and his have my sympathy.

[bluesbassman]

15. Much appreciated Jeff.

Thank you.

[riderinthestorm]

11. Oh my gawd. I am so, so sorry.

I am having a bad week with my daughter and one of her friends and the hair literally stood up on my arms when I read this.

Hugs to you, blue.

[bluesbassman]

16. Thanks, and hang in there.

Parenting is seldom easy. Sometimes all we can do is just be there for them. Keep it positive with her and I'm sure it'll work out. :hugs:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

12. My dear bluesbassman...

I'm so very sorry to hear this...

You're doing the right thing for your kids. Keeping them close and letting them know you'll always have an ear for listening, and a shoulder for support, are the best things you can do right now, and for the foreseeable future.

My brother-in-law committed suicide a number of years ago. He was being treated for colon cancer, and he was having a hard time dealing with the pain, and his dependence on others to help him get to the hospital for his radiation treatments. He was a ferociously independent guy, and all this ate at him.

We were hundreds of miles away and only dimly aware of his difficulties...He left my husband an email and then he shot himself.

Vibes for the family, and for all of you...

:hug:

[bluesbassman]

17. Thanks so much Peggy.

Sorry for your loss. :hugs:

[pacalo]

13. Terribly sorry to hear, blues.

For you, your son, & the family of the son lost, :hug:

[bluesbassman]

18. Thank you pacalo.

:hug:

[applegrove]

19. very sad.

[bluesbassman]

25. Thank you applegrove.

:hug:

[Skittles]

20. it's hard, very hard

extremely difficult to lose people to addictions :cry:

[bluesbassman]

26. Just feel helpless behind it.

Especially when someone's so young. Seems like they should be able to snap out of it, but you just never know how it'll play out.

Thanks Skittles.

[emilyg]

22. How sad. Prayers on the way.

[bluesbassman]

27. Thanks so much emilyg.

:hug:

[Odin2005]

23. Oh no! how awful for your son!

:(

[bluesbassman]

28. Thanks Odin, he's doing ok.

Better than I expected actually.

[DeadEyeDyck]

24. RIP

[bluesbassman]

29. Thank you.

That's my wish too.

[Heidi]

31. Good vibes on their way.

Love and comfort to the family of your son's friend, and to all who loved him. :hug:

[bluesbassman]

32. Thank you Heidi.

:hug:

[Call Me Wesley]

33. Good vibes for the family.

Peace and comfort.

[Crystal Clarity]

35. I am so sorry

My thoughts and prayers are w/you and the other family. So sad. :hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

36. Vibes for your son and for the friend's family.

What a terrible loss for the family.

[nolabear]

37. I'm so, so sorry Nothing is worse than a child's death.

Even a grown child. It'll take time, but I hope you all eventually find peace.

[Kali]

38. oh how awful, I'm so sorry

so sad