Congress Gets In 12 Solid Hours Of Gridlocking Before Calling It A Day

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One of those Onion articles that is uncomfortably close to the truth;

WASHINGTON—Exhausted but satisfied leaders from both parties came together Tuesday night to announce that Congress had successfully completed 12 solid hours of nonstop gridlocking, once again going above and beyond to needlessly prevent the nation from moving forward.

In a marathon session that lawmakers proudly called "one of least productive ever," each of the 535 members of the House and Senate gridlocked deep into the night to ensure that no bipartisan compromise could be reached, no laws intended to aid the American people could be passed, and no sense of national unity or progress could possibly be achieved.

"There is nothing more satisfying than knowing you've just put in a full day of bringing our nation's legislative branch to a complete standstill," said House Speaker John Boehner, who like the vast majority of his colleagues worked without break throughout the day and night fostering political disharmony and rejecting the passage of crucial legislation. "We got a lot of good, quality gridlocking done today. We gridlocked efficiently, we gridlocked passionately, and we gridlocked as best we could for the American people. Now we go home, rest up, and get ready for another full day of gridlocking tomorrow."

"It's a great feeling," Boehner added. "Today, everyone realized what it is we're here to do, and that's put a wrench right into the machinery of democracy."

[TheCanadianLiberal]

1. I failed it was the Onion at first!

And believed it.