Remember that Facebook group I tried to join?

[MorningGlow]

This thingie here, from Friday? http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9793884

Well, I was DENIED! I checked the group today and saw that instead of "Request sent" at the top, it was back to "Ask to join group".

So, like, that happened.

I'll try not to weep over it--promise. :eyes:

[zanana1]

1. As Mark Twain once said...

"I would never join a group that would accept me as a member".

[MorningGlow]

5. LOL too true!

:rofl:

[monmouth]

22. And all along I thought that was Groucho Marx...n/t

[zanana1]

25. It could have been Groucho.

I'm not as sharp as I used to be.

[siligut]

2. One of the women who has a problem with you moderates

This was my concern, damn her. I am betting the moderator didn't even ask other members, she just kept your request quiet. Too bad.

[MorningGlow]

7. You're mostly right

There are only two admins--a woman and a guy. I don't know the woman (I don't think we worked there at the same time) but the guy is one of my exes. He always was a terrible, terrible coward--a great example is when he broke up with me, I put the few random items he had in my apartment in a grocery bag and dropped it at his feet; he immediately ran to our mutual friends and said I THREW THINGS at him (they knew me well enough to know I wouldn't do that, thank goodness). Apparently he hasn't changed in nearly 15 years. I am sure that he nixed me privately, as you said.

I PMed the former coworker I've been FB friends with for a while (I found out about the group through her posts on it) and told her, quite casually, that I tried to join the group but was denied, and to tell anyone in it who might remember me that I said hi. I don't want her to go to bat for me; I just want other folks in the group to know I'm out here if they want to be friends outside the group.

Silly children. :P

ETA missing word

[siligut]

15. Petty, little man, that is so weak.

He probably wants to keep deluding himself and doesn't want the challenge of you back in his life. You are doing the smart thing by contacting your friends individually. If you had been able to determine that he was a moderator ahead of time; would you have gone through with the request?

[MorningGlow]

16. OMFG are you ready for THIS?

He's "disappeared" himself on FB! OMG OMG OMG I am laughing my ASS off right now! He has vanished from the group (now only the woman is listed as an admin) AND has vanished from our mutual friend's list! HE THINKS I'M LOOKING FOR HIM and has so decided he needs to be invisible!

I cannot even begin to express how ludicrous this is. I couldn't give even one shit about this guy! I never think about him--ever. We dated for about three months, and I didn't even care back then that we broke up (except for my temporarily bruised ego). I never looked back, never tried to reconnect with him, and CERTAINLY wasn't trying to find HIM this time--I was just trying to join the group to talk to my former coworkers. And here he is afraid that I'm trying to stalk him!

:wtf: :wow:

That is...pathetic. :rofl:

[siligut]

17. Deluded describes this guy all right

He apparently creates his own reality and it includes you. What an utter joke. Your dilemma reminded me of a situation of my own. A high school "friend" had been disparaging me at the HS reunions. I didn't attended them, as I was never in town when they were celebrated. Another "friend" told me of the stories she was spreading. She has made nothing of herself, and I would be sad for her if she weren't such a fatuous jerk. So there you have it, this guy doesn't deserve the time of day from you.

[MorningGlow]

18. That's awful!

So sorry you had to go through that! :(

But yeah, it makes you wonder what's going on in these people's heads. I had no idea he had twisted his memory of me into someone who would be looking for him to stalk him or whatever. That is the LAST thing I'd ever want. He's really NOTHING to me! But apparently he did fabricate this whole weird alternate reality (that has nothing to do with who I really am); otherwise he wouldn't feel the need to hide from me like I'm some crazed woman-done-wrong-who's-out-for-vengeance. Wow. Scary stuff.

[siligut]

20. Meh, if I am all she has to talk about . . .

What a boring life, and I know who she married, right out of HS, so boring is an understatement. Yes, he has twisted his memory, he is not worth anymore effort to understand. At least you're able to contact the people you liked from that job, so this guy is of some benefit to you, whether he likes it or not.

[zanana1]

26. Aren't men incredible?

Women look in a mirror and see every little fault that needs "fixing". Men look in a mirror and see Adonis.

[dawg]

3. What a bunch of losers.

Are they 15 years old or something?

I get my feelings hurt kind of easy. It's rare that I reach out to anyone, and if I feel rebuffed, it hurts. But I'm trying very hard to develop a " ... and the horse they rode in on" mentality.

I think you should do the same.

[MorningGlow]

8. Seems like it, doesn't it?

I'm pretty sure that the massive coward who moderates the group, an ex BF of mine, wiped out my request immediately. What's stupid is nearly 15 years have gone by, and we should be more mature than that (he's a college professor, fer chrissakes!), but apparently he hasn't grown up.

I'm with you on the easily hurt feelings, Dawg, but this has really made me LOL more than anything. I think it shows my ex's frame of mind more than anything else.

[seabeyond]

4. what a blessing. now you are done with them. fuck 'em. nt

[MorningGlow]

9. I think I will send out one or two friend requests

but yeah, fuck the 40-year-old children!

[bigwillq]

6. No biggie.

Life will go on. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

10. 'Deed it will

:hug:

[av8rdave]

11. Sounds like it worked out for the best!

[MorningGlow]

12. I keep thinking of the t-shirt that says

"Careful, or you'll end up in my novel." Maybe there's some material in this--!

[bluedigger]

13. Well, I'm glad you changed your mind!

Because "crawling under a rock and dying" just seems like a grisly way to go.:rofl:

Best to move on! :)

[MorningGlow]

14. LOL yeah

SO not worth hanging out with a bunch of worms and other creepy-crawlies! :rofl:

[one_voice]

19. Their loss!

Don't let it get you down. Eff 'em. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

21. It turned out to be an ex BF who denied me

He was one of two admins and I don't know the other one. THEN he went into hiding, making himself invisible on FB, like he thought I was going to stalk him or something. :eyes:

People are SO WEIRD!

I'm just disappointed that his paranoia (I have ZERO interest in reconnecting with him) has kept me from reminiscing with my former coworkers and friends.

[TuxedoKat]

23. Probably

after you send a friend request to a couple of them, some of the others will see you and send requests to you. :)

[MorningGlow]

24. That's my plan--do an end run around him

I've friended one person I see fairly often (we live in the same village) and I've sent a friend request to another who was always very congenial to me. Then I'll just have to friend other people I recognize in THEIR lists. Pain in the ass to do it this way, though, and I'm missing out on everyone sharing their memories of working together (in the group). But it's better than nothing.