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Edited on Tue Oct-11-11 06:02 PM by TorchTheWitch
and the possum. It's kind of a long story, but it's hysterical, so bear with me. I was just thinking about this story because I'm sure one of the officers that was in the group when the discussion of Yoshi and the police hat came up was one of the officers involved in this funny story, but he didn't seem to recognize me (I was wearing my hair in a pony tail and had my glasses on, and I know I look very different like that, so I'm not surprised that he didn't seem to know who I was). They were going back and forth trying to figure out who's hat would be the best fit for Yoshi when I realized that one officer just had to be one of the ones from the possum incident. He's a very funny boisterous Italian guy with a big booming laugh.
A few years ago the people that used to live next door to me had this pretty orange and black kitty that they always made stay outside at night, and kitty wasn't very pleased with the arrangement and would sit at their back door and cry a lot. One summer this big ugly possum decided he was in love with her and went over every night to try to convince her he was the love of her life. Kitty was horrified by this, but he was very persistent. I share a fence with that home but my fence is chain link and that fence is a really tall wooden one. The possum would climb my fence and then jump to the top of the wooden fence and run along the top of it to get to kitty (who would hysterically run away or try to hide from the ugly bugger).
I got used to always checking the back yard to make sure the possum wasn't there before letting Boo out, and one night I looked out and the possum was hanging over the top of my fence just dangling there with his front half hanging down one side and his back half hanging down the other. I couldn't imagine what the hell he was doing like that, so I waited a few minutes figuring he'd be gone chasing after kitty, but when I checked again later he was still dangling like that. That's when I realized he was probably stuck. I went outside and looked at him and he'd paddle his back legs like mad but couldn't get hold of the fence to get himself over, so he was definitely stuck.
The back of our properties meet with the parking lot of a strip mall, and every night there's normally a cop car or two there making sure the local hooker who likes to park in the back to service her customers wasn't there and to chase out any of the local thugs doing drug deals in the back of the lot. Normally, nothing is going on, but the cops have to show their presence there late at night for awhile, and since it's probably boring as hell most of the time another cop will pull in and they'll park next to each other shoot the breeze.
Well, I noticed that two cop cars were in the lot doing just that, and there was no way I was going to try to get the possum unstuck myself, so I walked over and had to explain the problem and ask if they could help. And of course, they were eager to help probably because this was just something they had to see for themselves and was probably the most interesting thing that happened all year (not much goes on in this town). Once they saw the possum there was just no way to look at that and not find it funny... he looked like a wet towel hanging on a clothes line. So, all three of us were concerned about how to get him unstuck without hurting him or getting bitten but just couldn't help chuckling about it. And like sometimes happens, laughter just feeds on itself and the more we discussed what to do and how to do it and kept looking at him we just could not stop laughing. But it was also really late at night and these are row houses and it's warm weather when people tend to have their windows open so at the same time we're cracking up we're also shushing each other, which for some reason just made the whole situation even more hilarious.
The funny Italian cop kept making hilarious comments that weren't helping us get control of ourselves and deal with the damn possum, and since he's sort of an older guy he made the younger cop who he was with do the actual physical dealing with the possum (seniority thing I guess). We decided the best thing to do was have him wrap both hands and forearms with big thick towels in case the possum tried to bite him but he could still get hold of his back end and hoist him over the fence the rest of the way. This worked out pretty well, but the cop took his hat off I'm guessing in case things didn't go well and he had to make a run for it. It did go well, and the possum got unstuck and ran away, but the cop had forgotten to pick up his hat. I didn't realize that until I went to let Boo out in the yard about a half an hour later, and the damn possum was stuck on the fence again! The two cops were still in the parking lot chatting, so I grabbed his hat off the garden wall and walked back over again.
When they saw me coming they both got out of their cars to see what was wrong, and I gave the younger guy his hat back and had to explain that the stupid possum had gotten himself stuck again. This caused all three of us to just explode with laughter, and once we managed to get some control over ourselves went back to deal with the stupid dangling possum again. This time they decided the best thing to do was use the handle of a broom to slide under the possum's backside and sort of flip him up and over so nobody had to worry about getting bitten (apparently, this was something they had been discussing while hanging out in the parking lot making their presence known to the local no-goods).
Once again, we're laughing and shushing each other while funny Italian cop is making all kinds of hilarious comments that are just doubling us over cracking up. And once again, the younger cop had to do the deed with the broom handle, and once again he took off his hat and set it on the garden wall upside-down.
Here I think this is finally the end of it, and through all this silliness I forgot again to let Boo out in the yard for a pee. So, I check outside and this time there's no stupid possum dangling over the fence, but just as I was about to let Boo out I notice the cop had forgotten his hat again... and something else. The damn possum was sitting in his hat!!! So I had to walk back over to them again, and as soon as they saw me they both jumped out of their cars already laughing expecting me to tell them the possum was dangling over the fence stuck again, and I had to explain to the younger cop that he had forgotten his hat again and why I couldn't just bring it back over with me.
Once again, uproarious laughter ensues, but funny Italian cop made a comment about how younger cop was going to have to write a report explaining why he had to shove a broom handle at a possum's butt and why there was possum piss in his hat. That did it. All three of us just busted up and me and the younger cop ended up sitting on the ground in the parking lot practically crying with laughter.
But that wasn't it. We were making so much noise with our uncontrollable laughing that one of my neighbors called the cops. So, there we are sitting on the ground in the parking lot howling hysterically when two cop cars pull in and find us like that probably wondering if we'd dipped into the confiscated dope of some drug dealers in the parking lot.
Between fits of laughter the story came out to the two new-comer cops, and of course this they just had to see for themselves, so me and four cops walk back to my yard and there's the damn possum nesting in the younger cop's hat. So now four cops and me are cracking up in my yard and shushing each other. We finally had to break up the night's entertainment before the entire night shift ended up at my house laughing their heads off. But funny Italian guy had to let loose with one more hilarious comment... he said first thing in the morning he was going to pay a visit to my neighbors and tell them to keep their darn pretty kitty in the house at night before the whole neighborhood starts thinking that the entire police night crew is sniffing laughing gas at my house.
I don't think the possum ever came back after that night. Maybe he finally decided pretty kitty wasn't worth the humiliation. Or maybe he did piss in the younger cop's hat and didn't dare come back for fear he'd be arrested.
On Edit: horrifying spelling
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