What would you do if no one in your house said

[alittlelark]

Happy Birthday to you?

One spouse and 2 teens.

Honestly, what would you do?

[knowbody0]

1. happy birthday, alittlelark

I think you're awesome, and I'm glad you were born.

make sure they wake up to the knowing they really fucked up. when my family did that to me, I did not acknowledge any of theirs for the following year. never happened again.

[alittlelark]

3. Thank You.

[grasswire]

2. I would be hurt.

I'm sorry.

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!

I know that doesn't help.

I hope they make up for it somehow.

[alittlelark]

4. It does, but Thank You for saying it.

[krispos42]

5. They've got 79 minutes to fix it.

Or, alternately, buy yourself something expensive and indulgent on spouse's dime and dare him to ask why you got it.


Here, have a drink...





Mike: "Somebody's got a drinking problem!"


Happy birthday, by the way!

[alittlelark]

7. I've almost finished a bottle of Gruet Pinot Noir.

Thanks for the B'Day Happiness.

[texanwitch]

6. This may sound mean but I might forget their next birthdays as a life lesson.

But this is just me.

Happy Birthday, and many more.:party:

[alittlelark]

9. I hope I can.

This has been very painful I feel deep resentment (at least in the case of the spouse).

[Skittles]

8. call it a normal day - because I never remember my own birthday

other people tell me LOL

Happy birthday :D

[alittlelark]

10. Your B-day must not be next to a holiday

Whenever I see Halloween decorations I think of my B-Day.

[Skittles]

13. three days from my dad's suicide date

which is probably what makes me tend to forget it :(

[seabeyond]

21. .

:hug: been there. my moms was morning after christmas. missed that day up for a while.

[Skittles]

31. sucks doesn't it?

my brother died the day before Thanksgiving :(

[seabeyond]

36. wow.

yes. it did suck. i had to go out of town with inlaws the first three xmases. i couldnt do my family. they couldnt either.

it has been 13 yrs now, and i understand what happened to her. there is always the... i wish. but, i understand.

[texanwitch]

42. My father died the day before my birthday.

Didn't get a birthday last year.

:hug:

[marzipanni]

11. Whistle or hum 'Happy Birthday to You', to you. .

maybe a little bell will go off in someone's head. ;)

My husband always got my birthday mixed up with his grandmother's- both on the 9th, a month apart. After 26 years he gets it right most of the time. :o

They won't know unless you give them a hint.

Then do something fun on the weekend to celebrate, when it's more relaxed.

[alittlelark]

12. My husband knows.

It's a narcissistic power game I am not playing along with.

[PassingFair]

44. Sounds like you ARE playing along with it.

Just sayin'....

Happy Birthday anyway, I hope you win.

:party:

[MrScorpio]

14. Happy Birthday!

And Many, Many More!

[seabeyond]

15. i am fine with it. i have had a bday or two they thought was the next day.

i laughed that those that love me forgot yet those i dont know wished me a happy bday.

i really dont care about bdays

the last, a couple weeks ago, i was hoping they would forget. but i dont want a to do.

both boys forgot until evening.

i dont see it as lack of love or lack of appreciation.

but then, bdays and such are not a thing for me.

[Phentex]

19. I'm not a big birthday person but I share it with my sister...

it's pretty hard to forget!

[seabeyond]

22. with stupid beeping phones saying DON'T forget, don't forget

it is hard for a bday to slip by now a days. hubby use to think my bday in nov instead of oct. he got that in his head. was fun for a while. got smart and put in his smart phone, lol

[Phentex]

23. LOL! My husband should do that for his mother's birthday!

I remind him to call but he forgets and she gets pissy about it. I usually call her early in the day and leave him to fend for himself!

[seabeyond]

25. leave him to fend for himself

ya. lol. i let hubby fend for himself, too. his mama

[Phentex]

28. I think I like her better than he does!...

I also try to take my cues from the way other people do birthdays. My MIL always sends cards and calls and gives my kids gifts (they get gifts from her for the OTHER one's birthday!) We also do a big family birthday gathering. So I know it means a lot to her to have him call.

[blueamy66]

32. Oh, it is def a lack of love and appreciation and respect.

How hard is it to buy a 99 cent card?

My guy would be out the house if he didn't recognize my bday.

[blueamy66]

16. cry

nt

[Phentex]

17. It would be in Milestones...

had I known about it!

Happy Birthday!


I think it's annoying when people in your house don't remember. I am not a huge birthday person but I would find it odd and thoughtless if no one remembered.


:hug:

[blueamy66]

18. OH, and Happy Birthday!!!!!!

:-)

[hobbit709]

20. go out somewhere and wait for them to ask where you've been

then tell them you were out celebrating your birthday.

[Phentex]

24. Good idea!

:thumbsup:

[LiberalAndProud]

26. I made a beautiful casserole, shared it with my family.

and told them it was my birthday present to them. It is still a lovely memory. I am not one to remember dates myself, so I'm forgiving of the transgression.

Happy birthday, a littlelark.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

27. I'd walk around the house loudly singing "Happy Birthday To Me,"

and then I'd go out and get myself a present, have it wrapped, and bring it home and unwrap it in front of everybody, and I'd have flowers sent to me at home. And I'd also get a nice cake at a bakery, light the candles, blow them out, and eat it all myself. All the time I'd have a big fat smile on my face. No pouting or sulking, just throw a nice party for myself.

Happy birthday.

[Bake]

29. Happy Birthday!

And I'd never let them forget it, either!

:hi:

Bake

[RedCloud]

30. or conversely...

What if the last words you ever heard your mother say to you were:

"Happy Birthday!"

I just had my first one pass.

[handmade34]

33. Happy Birthday!

mine is in two days and I would just as soon everyone forget it :toast:

[mysuzuki2]

34. Depending on their age, I might forgive the kids. The spouse -

not so much. I've been there and it is painful when they don't seem to care. One reason I will never get married again.

[LibDemAlways]

35. If they know it's your birthday but they won't acknowledge it, they are being

just plain mean. :(

However, count me among your many friends here on DU who wish you happiness today and a great year ahead!! :)

[Kali]

37. I would make sure they did.

Not one for passively waiting for people to do what they should.
Our tradition is getting to choose dinner and what kind of "cake" so the issue of spouse forgetting is easily overcome when I tell him what he will be making for dinner on my birthday.}(

[riderinthestorm]

40. That's our tradition too. But seeing as my birthday is New Years Eve (Dec 31) its always a party

My husband is an excellent cook, he worked as a line cook for a famous 5 star restaurant through college. He loves to do it but has no time so New Year's Eve is his chance to create a feast for me and friends. He starts cooking in the early am, the first appetizers (there's usually 6 7 begin rolling out at 6 pm and he just continues to cook all night with dinner sometime about 11 pm. Champagne and dessert at midnight and everyone leaves by 12:30.

So like you, nobody forgets my birthday in my house. But damn, if they did, I'd just grab the opportunity to make that day my own damn day - no sitting around passively for me either.

Its funny but I've always done that with Mother's Day. I do. not. want. a. celebration. As the mother, I simply want to be left alone on that day! Forget the traditional mother's day shenanigans. I take myself out and do stuff I've always wanted to do all year - the Art Institute of Chicago on last Mother's Day, all by my luxurious self - nobody hustling off, or bored. It was fabulous! The year before that it was a gift to myself of a trip to see Wicked in the city - delicious. I make my husband take the kids, especially when they were little, all damn day and I just planned my own adventures.

[alittlelark]

47. I told spouse that Beni-Hana was my choice....

He came home too late.

[REP]

38. That would never happen.

My husband always gets me a thoughtful gift and takes me to my favorite restaurant.

If there were any teens in the house I'd freak the fuck out, since we don't have children.

Happy birthday anyway.

[riderinthestorm]

39. Oh what a mean spirited, shitty thing to do to you

I saw the other info you posted that this is a powerplay maneuver in your marriage. But for your spouse to 1. get the kids to participate in it, and/or 2. have him not remind the teens (cuz face it, they will always forget it, they're teens)... ooh, shitty.

In my mind, clearly now the line has been drawn and you are not celebrating birthdays together anymore. So be it. You don't have to do anything for him but I would make sure the teens know its his day and let them figure it out for him. They're old enough to say they need a card, or they want to do something for him. Help them do this thing for their father but I think you are off the hook from here on out to NOT do anything else.

As for you, starting today I would make sure you make this day about you. No more weeping (if I were you, I'd have had my cry already because this is hurtful, and moved on) and begin planning where you are taking yourself for your birthday next year. Begin a plan. Dinner? Dinner and a movie? A cruise? With a friend or not, you get to pick your own company now baby! Honestly, you've been given carte blanche to now make your birthday your own special day. Take whatever family finances they may have spent on you (and more! why not? you deserve it!) and use it to make this your own holiday celebrating you.

Happy birthday though! Would this shitty action be enough reason to ask him to get marriage counseling (if you want it)?

[alittlelark]

48. Thank You so much for your reply....

PS - He refused to see a therapist and instead opted for medication.


We've been together since HS.

[erinlough]

41. A little true story

My son, who I still love, went for 25 years never remembering my birthday even once, even with a home made card or a phone call. When he got in to getting tattoos, which I initially disliked, he asked me if he could get a tatoo I would like. I asked him to get 9/23 tatooed on his wrist. He actually asked me why! I explained that that is my birthday, and maybe if he had it there he would remember it. He didn't get the tatoo, but he never forgot my birthday again.

[emilyg]

43. Happy Birthday - we share one today.

[alittlelark]

49. Belated Congrats....

I've always loved my B-day

[Iggo]

45. I'd say "Finally!"

[mikeytherat]

46. Happy Birthday, dammit! Mine is in a few days.

How about your in-laws forgetting your 20th wedding anniversary?

mikey_the_rat