Help! My neighbor called the cops on me

[taterguy]

Said my walrus was threatening her penguin.

I don't even have a walrus.

I think she's on drugs.

What can I do?

[frogmarch]

1. Buy a walrus and

ask it to threaten her penguin.

[taterguy]

2. Ever try to ask a walrus to do something?

OMG

You must be on drugs too.

[frogmarch]

9. LOL nt

[MilesColtrane]

15. Threaten to steal its bucket.

[madinmaryland]

3. Lighten up, Francis. She's a dumbass.

[ohiosmith]

4. Eat less fish, change your deodorant and mouthwash, take something for the flatulence.

:rofl:

[surrealAmerican]

8. ... also, shave your mustache and ...

... see an orthodontist.

[ohiosmith]

10. Bwahahahaha!

:toast:

[texanwitch]

5. Does she have a BBQ pit of any kind.

Be extra nice to her penquin.

Stock up on frozen fish.

[guitar man]

6. Just open the window at 3 am

And holler "Goo Goo G'Joob!!" in her direction as loud as you can :D

[whistler162]

7. Shave and a diet?

and stop threatening penguins!

[kayakjohnny]

11. Send it to mediation... problem solved.

[taterguy]

17. Ever try to teach a walrus to meditate?

[kayakjohnny]

18. Well yes, but only once. The trick is finding a nice warm rock and few distractions.

Then, have him support his head by placing the tusks on the rocks.

Try to keep various seals, birds and other critters at a distance.

You can chant 'om' to him if you want. That seemed to help in my case.

Also, have him focus on the horizon if possible.


http://nature.wallpaperme.com/1340-2/Walrus+Bull.jpg

[trof]

12. See a podiatrist. Now.

I'm just sayin'.

[texanwitch]

13. Maybe your neighbor is really nearsighted.

Be kind and offer to help her get glasses.

[taterguy]

16. Every time I get anywhere near her house she sics her damn penguin on me

Ever been attacked by a penguin?

It ain't pretty.

[struggle4progress]

14. You need to get a hobby -- penguin-tickling, maybe?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YuWLKQ5e54

[blue neen]

19. Bogart her drugs.

:)