RNC Schedule.............Hillarious

[hang a left]

This was posted yesterday and didn't get much exposure. I thought everyone could use a laugh today.


canuckybee (71 posts) Wed Aug-18-04 03:56 PM
Original message
RNC Schedule


Republican National Convention Schedule
New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are after your children
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Piñata
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

[wildeyed]

1. thanks!

[kwolf68]

2. I have not forgotten

About the RNC Dance Party Unplugged that SoCalDem rolled out.

I almost died of laugther.

[hang a left]

8. I searched for the thread to post it here also.

I couldn't find it. You wouldn't happen to have it bookmarked would ya?

[kwolf68]

9. No, but

I did save it down to my local at home.

Every 3 or 4 days I open it up if I need a good laugh.

usually things wear off, they aren't as funny, but not that.

[Ghetto_Boy]

3. No "Springtime for Hitler " ?

[jeff30997]

4. One event is missing:

9:45 PM Paul Wolfowitz hosts a combs swallowing contest.

[KurtNYC]

5. Here's a preview

Cheney: "Burn it big time"

[jeff30997]

6. LOL ! Great pic.

[noahmijo]

7. The only reason this pisses me off

other than having seen it posted about a thousand times, is the idea that Jesus would be at the RNC convention to lead them in a closing prayer.

In truth if Jesus were there, he'd be nailed to a cross by these thugs.

[w13rd0]

10. It says Jesus on the playbill..

...but it's really the Rev Moon.

[maine_raptor]

11. No, No

"he'd be nailed to a cross by these thugs"

To quote Mel Brooks...........

"Too Jewish" :hi:

[noahmijo]

15. ::chuckle::: Now Mel on the other hand I never get tired of hearing of

nor do I tire of Jewish humor.

"fagalous?"

[hang a left]

13. I didn't see it till yesterday.

Sorry you are offended. I spend most of my time in LBN and GD.

:eyes:

[noahmijo]

14. No I wasn't offended I'm sorry I didn't mean to be jerky

But being a Catholic who despises these phony Christians more than any non-religious type on here does (trust me I do) it's just the idea that Jesus would somehow support the RNC or imply that he would even if it is a joke still it's annoying.

[julialnyc]

12. this really is their website!

http://gopconvention.com/contents/goplive/streets/
The momentum is building on the streets of New York and throughout the nation for the 2004 Republican Convention. On our virtual “Streets of New York,” New Yorkers share with you their enthusiasm for this year’s convention. Click here to hear them in their own words



Notice how they try to put as many minorities as possible!!! It is sad how they use people they don't care at all about to promote themselves (they have Don King in there!)