DEAR US SOLDIERS IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN;

[LynnTheDem]

Here are some simple rules that need to be followed;

-Please ensure you bleed at least until you are almost dead. This should be easily achieved.

-If you do not bleed enough blood from your wounds, Republicans will mock your "superficial scratches", and take away any and all pride you may have in any medals the US military awards you when Republicans call your awards "suspicious" and "perhaps fraudulant".

The result combined may make you regret your risking life and limbs for your Republicans.

-You must understand that Republicans don't need to care about you unless you bleed copious amounts of blood from your wounds, but don't commit suicide in despair, as the Republicans consider that blood to be cheating and it will not count.

-If you lose limbs, be sure you lose at least all 4. Losing 3 or less limbs will make you an object of ridicule to the Republicans.

It's understandable that you wish for your Republicans to appreciate your services for your Republicans and the risks you are taking, but unless the above rules are followed, Republicans will either hate, mock, denigrate and ridicule you, or simply ignore you completely, which of course will be entirely your own fault.

WARNING:

Democrats will try to keep you safe by demanding Republicans send enough items such as body armor, up-armored humvees, ammo, working rifles, etc.

Do not accept any such items, or you will risk Republican wrath for being a sissy afraid to die for them, and for lowering their amounts of tax cuts by the need to pay for your sissy equipment.

Democrats will also try to bring you home out of danger, and before you are able to bleed out or lose your limbs. Again, do not accept such treasonous and immoral offerings or you will risk Republican wrath and hate yourself.

By following the above rules and assuming you don't actually bleed to death, (which is, however, totally acceptable), Republicans will be generous in reward to you.

While Republicans have slashed your veterans' benefits several times in several areas the past 3 years, they will ensure a tin cup and pencils, at a modest sum, for every properly gimped vet.

Thank you.
Your Republican Masters and Bob Dole

[Mojambo]

1. Great job! n/t

[chiburb]

2. Too true...

Thank you for posting it.

[LynnTheDem]

3. Thanks!

It was a choice of sit & write some satire...or implode in outrage-overload. I figure I'd go with the first option, as I can always do the second option later. :D

[K8-EEE]

4. Kick!

God I can't believe what a bunch of assholes those people are. "support the troops?" they have a funny way of showing it.

[oasis]

5. BTW,Bob Dole is a worthless POS, but take his advice anyway. (eom)