Andy Borowitz: Hilton calls for end to Swift Boat Flap--fun!

[spooky3]

PARIS HILTON CALLS FOR END TO SWIFT BOAT FLAP
http://www.borowitzreport.com/
(snip)

Hotel heiress and reality TV star Paris Hilton today called for an end to the controversy over Sen. John Kerry's Vietnam War service, warning that the continuing swift boat flap was distracting attention away from her.

Speaking at a press conference in Washington, Ms. Hilton told reporters that the controversy “has overshadowed the issues that really matter to the American people, such as my messy break-up with Nick .”

(snip)

In an effort to blunt the controversy stoked by the group calling itself Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, Ms. Hilton announced today that she and her sister Nicky had founded a new political action committee called Hotel Heiresses Against Swift Boat Veterans For Truth.

(snip)

In other political news, the Republican National Committee announced today that President George W. Bush's acceptance speech at the convention next week would be simulcast in English.

**** BOROWITZ LIVE IN NEW YORK CONVENTION WEEK ****

[Lefty48197]

1. Maybe Paris Hilton wouldn't be such a bad President after all.

At least in comparison.

[iwantmycountryback]

2. Liked the last paragraph

"In other political news, the Republican National Committee announced today that President George W. Bush's acceptance speech at the convention next week would be simulcast in English."

LMAO