Harebrained freepers want Texas to secede if Kerry wins

[quinnox]

LOL My favorite part is Bush being installed as President of Texas - Get a load of this:

It's making the rounds on the Internet: Texans, If Kerry Should Win--Let's Secede

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if John Kerry should win this presidential election, over George W. Bush. And we'll miss you all, too.

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our own hands.

Here's our solution:

#1--John Kerry will just have to be contented with being the President of the United States--all 49 of them.

#2--We can secede from the union and have George W. Bush as the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense industry? We have over 65% of it. The expression ''Don't mess with Texas'' will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil? We can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas? Again, we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm...

6. Computer Industry? We currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications, with small concerns like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health Centers? We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers, and the top trauma units in the world, plus other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going with UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Abilene Christian, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University. Anyway, ivy grows better in the South.

9. We have a ready supply of workers. We can just open the border when we need some more.

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard, and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple of Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, several types of grain, fruit, and vegetables. And let's not forget the seafood from the Gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them, so that they taste good. Don't need to import any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under a President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9-miles-per-gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off foreign communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed: The People of Texas

Have a nice day!

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1203843/posts

[mrboba1]

1. ohhh if only it would be true....

*sigh*

[molly]

2. Good ridance!

[WoodrowFan]

3. LOL

Oh please, please, please,. please! We'll welcome the Democratic refugees up here. It'll be part of Mexico again in 20 years!

[kwolf68]

4. Buwhahahahaha

It's either Culture War or Civil War with these people.

How UN-American to want to break up the United States of America. Why do Republicans hate America I wonder?

It is very simple...The ONLY love America and the Troops if they think America or the troops "are Conservative."

Here is my GRAND GRAND PREDICTION FOLKS...listen up...you will SEE this post on FR as well...

IF Kerry wins they will take the American flag off the back of their cars. Trust me. They will do this. And there will be posts over there telling fellow Freepers to do the same.

[Kid_A]

5. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they tried something like that.

Never misunderestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.

[MaineDem]

6. Let 'em! (nt)

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Don't let the door slap you on the ass

on your way out of the Union. Buh-bye.

[DaveSZ]

10. Freepers hate America

It's that simple.

[Bunny]

8. Do these dumb fucks believe that NASA or any of the other US government

contracts they currently hold would remain in the independent republic of Texas if they seceded? They're stupid enough to believe this, apparently. Why am I not surprised? Let's get our Texan DUers out, then let these assclowns have the god-forsaken place!

[yellowcanine]

9. Doesn't Texas get way more Fed dollars than what they contribute?

Along with most every other RED state? Besides, that little "legal right to secede" worked like gangbusters in 1861, didn't it?

[DaveSZ]

13. "misunderestimate"

You know that will be in the dictionary someday.

[WoodrowFan]

14. actually, no

Texas is one of the few red states that pays out more than it takes in.

[HippieCowgirl]

11. blowing hot air

I think every election year some whackjob floats the "Texas will Secede" bull. There was even a militia group wanting to bring back "The Republic of Texas."

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

12. No surprises here.

It is evident that the hopes of the Texas repuke party is to turn us all into economic conduits aimed at Texas.

[LiberalEconomist]

16. Good!!

Let them have their Yankee carpetbagger/predent Texan cowboy.

[Gothmog]

15. Idiots

These guys are so stupid that it is not funny. Yeah, NASA would continued to be based in Houston if Texas left the union.

The only real right that Texas may have under the old treaty is the right to split into five separate states. That would be interesting in that some parts of the state are more progressive than say Dallas.

[krkaufman]

17. Suddenly, preemptive war doesn't seem so bad n/t

[TheRovingGourmet]

18. This email is old but still funny.

[zbdent]

19. Texas DUers will be welcomed to cross the border

I think that Kerry should sell Texas back to Mexico.

Present company will be welcomed to the US, though.

[atreides1]

20. Here Are Some Facts That They Forgot About

1. NASA can be moved to Florida

2. Refineries can be built in other Gulf Coast states, creating jobs
there and creating massive unemployment in Texas.

3.The DEfense industry will move to where the money is, and since the money is with the federal government, guess what, more jobs created in the other 49 states, and more unemeployment for Texas.

4.Keep the oil, the US can now actually develop alternative fuels and energy, and cut down on emissions.

5.Natural gas, that's because all of the chili they eat, let them keep it.

6.The computer industry, like others will move to where the money is, and once again jobs will be created in the US.

7.Health centers and research centers can be built in the US, and once federal money stops going to research centers, they will pull up stakes and move north of the border.

8.But the federal money that goes to some if not all of these colleges
will dry up, and only certain members of the population will be able to get a college education.

9.And we now come to it, Texans love Mexicans as long as they know their place, and that place is in landscaping, the service industry, or any demeaning job that a good Texas Republican would never do.

10.Once again these industries will move to where the money is, and unless part of this grand plan is to force these companies to only work for the Republic of Texas, creating slave corporations, Texas will have more unemployment.

11.Yes you have the TNG and TANG, but you won't have the Reserve components, and all military bases and facilities will be demolished prior to withdrawl of US military forces. This will include naval ports and all military health care facilities to include VA hospitals.

12.You can only be self sufficient so long as you have new stock coming in, but a system along the border akin to that used by the Soviets to seperate East and West Germany would be placed along the land border, a naval blockade of all port facilities would eliminate
the access to the Gulf.

Along with the fact that your hand picked president has already pissed of the rest of the world, the ability of Texas to trade with other nations will be severely curtailed. Texans remaining in Texas will require a passport with a visa to enter the US, and anyone who crosses our borders will be jailed and then returned to Texas.

Just a few of the counter arguments I could think of, anyone else want to give it a try.

[LiberalPersona]

21. LOL

This is some truly funny shit.

They actually think that NASA would remain in Texas if it seceded? That's hilarious! :D

[LuminousX]

22. please, please, please, please!!!

I've been hoping for that for the longest time.

And without Texan oil, we'll work harding on renewable energy sources.

And if they think all those companies in Texas will continue to exist trying to sell their products just to Texas, they are fooling themselves.

[kcwayne]

23. Texas was a backwater until the 70's

when Northerns started moving there in large numbers. If Texas seceeded, a whole lot of these people would move back home. That would be great because it would create more room for us to dump all the fundies on Texas soil and not let them back in. Then Texas could create the theocracy that they all seem to want, and act as a fundy magnet for the rest of the US, and clean up our neighborhoods. Privacy would become private again, what a concept.

Most of the companies listed as "Texas Resources" are not based in Texas. The oil cannot be economically extracted, and the natural gas needs markets outside of Texas. Good luck selling that stuff to debt ridden third world countries and ever getting paid. The economy in Texas would crater, unless they can find a world market for fried okra and bullshit.

[Kahuna]

24. I personally think that's a grand idea.

:D