Letterman monologue gems:

[ddeclue]

You're here on a good night...so far none of our guests have cancelled.

Did you see that David Blaine thing..they just left him hanging there... The same thing McCain did to me last night..

Paris Hilton is here tonight unless she needs to rush to Washington to fix the economy.

Paris Hilton was actually McCain's first choice for Veep.

John here's how it works: You don't come to see me..we might not see you on Inauguration Day.

McCain wants the debate postponed until after the big financial bailout. Sarah Palin wants it postponed until after the election.

On UN Palin tour: It was like "take your daughter to work day".

I was watching the news "George Bush says the economy is in danger..wow nothing gets past this guy...like a steel trap"

Here's the latest: Bush says Congress can work in spirit of bipartisanship to solve this crisis - you know that means folks: he's drinking again..

Doug D.

[BrklynLiberal]

1. and the Top Ten List being recited by residents of Wasilla, Alaska.

[liberalmuse]

8. Alaskans may be odd, and right wingish...

but after the Ed Schultz town hall, I am sort of fond of Alaskans. I think they are the last of the rugged frontiersmen and women. I was watching that Palin interview that was online about a month ago where she walked to her office from her home with the interviewer. For some reason, I really wanted to live in Alaska when I saw that. Bad. (Dog forbid!)

[VenusRising]

2. It was rapid fire, too!

Way to catch those. He was relentless.

:rofl:

[liberalmuse]

3. This will go on for months.

McCain will be in every monologue until the election. HahahahahaHAHAHA!!! Letterman rocks!

[Cha]

12. Oh Yeah, cause there'll always be fresh fodder

with that gimmick lover.

[briv1016]

15. I wonder if Leno, Conan and Ferguson will get in on the act.

[book_worm]

4. Great Moments in Presidential speeches was also hilarious

"Until Julia Child came along nobody knew that watching cooking could be so much fun" or something like that after showing clips of JFK and Reagan.

[briv1016]

5. He knows everyone is watching.

I wonder what the ratings will be for this episode.

[msallied]

6. LMFAO!

The last four lines were true zingers. Love him!

[RollWithIt]

7. No one ever talks about the masterstroke... upon learning of McCain's cancellation....

He invited Keith O in his place. lol. Such in your face I know you're full of shit talk.

[Democrats_win]

9. Did McCain cancel on Charles Keating? Letterman just didn't have a crooked bank deal to offer.

[Cha]

10. Thanks, ddeclue.. I love Dave

Letterman! Last week Obama was on and that went really well and this whole mccain cancellation at the last minute has gone Super!

[spooky3]

11. thanks, I missed these but am watching now, and he hasn't let up!

[Hissyspit]

13. "Paris Hilton is our guest tonight, unless she has to leave on an emergency..."

"Paris Hilton is our guest tonight, unless she has to leave on an emergency trip to D.C. to fix the economy!"

[Hissyspit]

14. Speaking about Keith O: "by the way he has an enormous head."

[ddeclue]

16. Letterman on McCain call and 10 top from Wasilla list

and says "I can't make it"

I say what's the problem.

He says "the economy - it's about to crater"..

I love that...that's pretty good...he's not here but I got a new word..

I have to race back to Washington D.C. the Capitol because the economy.

I said whatever you need to do... Am I gonna be the reason people are standing in breadlines?..Do I want people to say it's Letterman's fault..there he is get him... I'm scared and trembling a little bit..holy gosh. The Senator's on his way back. Not only did he not go back right away he stopped by Katie Couric - no he didn't go back to the airport - didn't leave till this morning audience boos. What we learned now the economy held on long enough, barely long enough for him to get back there. 24 hours ago I felt like a patriot..I was gonna help in my own little way to get this economy out of a crater... now I feel like an ugly date.. I feel used... I cheap... I feel sullied... I feel cratered..

Paul: You've been cratered.

Honest to God it's like getting a call from Superman, Batman... would love to talk Dave gotta go Gothams about to crater...

Now I'm really steamed...

Top 10 list:

Top ten list from Wasilla: Top 10 surprising facts about Sarah Palin..
10)Sometimes Sarah calls John McCain grandpa
9) She stole that sexy librarian look from me.
8) Recently passed legislation to build a bridge to funkytown
7) Does great impressions of Tina Fey
6) Favorite meal: Moose nuggets and Beaver jerky
5) Working on the night rider spin off about a talking snowmobile
4) Favorite Book : Late Show Fun Facts available at fine stores everywhere
3) Once spent a week in the hospital after attempting to put lipstick on a pit bull
2) To improve her foreign policy experience she recently went to the International House of Pancakes
1) Only person I know who's not afraid to go hunting with Dick Cheney.