31 drafts? How can it take 31 drafts to write a W speech?

[underpants]

I heard Dan Bartlett say in several interviews that W's speech tonight has been through at least 31 drafts.

How many ways are there to say the same thing you have been saying for 3 years (remember EVERYTHING changed on 9/11)?

I'm great
Anyone who doubts me:
-hates 'Murka
-defies GOD
-wants your children dead (YOU have to decide which child to pick up first)

GOD talks to/through me

Tort reform will save YOU money

And so on........

Seriously how can this be that difficult? Okay I will give them some credit on ways to say something without really saying it and sticking to script but hell WE could write what W is going to say by now.

[henslee]

1. Crayons are hard to erase? Takes longer to write a speech with pictures?

[snippy]

23. They used the whole box if the final draft is number 32.

[underpants]

27. W was upset they didn't get the box of 64 so he could help

by doing all the sharpening.

[jackstraw45]

2. Bush probably "read" only drafts 30 & 31...

The "Hooked of Phonics" versions.

[underpants]

12. What really happened to drafts 1-29

[nickinSTL]

3. Dubya wrote the first draft

the following 30 were to try to make it understandable.

[merh]

4. Because he is so used to dodging the draft!

It's just an old habit - they have to hunt him down at the National Guard headquarters when ever they mention the drafts :shrug: go figure!

[2Design]

5. they had to make the sentences 5 words or less.

[soupkitchen]

6. Hi I'm George Bush and every word in this speech was approved for me

[BlueEyedSon]

7. Gotta keep removing those "hard to say" words.....

[democratreformed]

8. Lots of different polls to look at.....

ha ha - who's the one that REALLY changes according to public perception?

[leftchick]

not to mention "he will have it memorized"!!

Can you imagine anyone believing that one for a NY minute? He can not memorize two words let alone a whole paragrapgh. The Dallas news idiot asshole on C-Span this morning said that!

[underpants]

18. Remember the last speech that W was so involved in?

Remember how Drudge posted pictures of W blue pen in hand and glasses on helping to draft the 2003 SOTU speech? Then when the "16 words" blew up in their faces they said that it was Handley's fault (and Tenet starting his new career falling on swords)?

[yellowcanine]

9. It has to be "updated" frequently to cover all of the fuckups of the last

two weeks?

[tekriter]

10. gotta make the words smaller...

and the sentences shorter...

and you gotta have a PC with the Sesame Street font set installed...


and it's hard to strike a balance on exactly how many colors to use in print - the basic 8 Crayola set might be too much.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

11. As a trained professional speechwriter myself

I quite honestly don't know how people go through any more than 5 drafts unless they scrap the whole thing several times. The vast amount of editing is done on the fly, as you pretty much agonize over each line as you write it. Then you perform the whole thing, revise, rinse and repeat as necessary. When I was doing it, I didn't usually go through more than 4 drafts, unless it was a really difficult speech (which nomination speeches are not).

[underpants]

14. Right-unless you are trying not to say what you sorta are saying

WMD.....9/11.....Saddam

And so forth.

YEah I just can't imagine how it could go through that many changes.

[librechik]

35. "Im the compassion president. No, I'm the education president. No, I'm

the Warrior President. No, I'm the MBA President. No I'm the International President. No, I'm the Trip to Mars president. No,I'm the Peace President. No, I'm the CEO president.

W is for Women! W is for welfare reform! W is for Wealthy Supporters! (crumple)

I'm a hugger! I'm a killer! I'm the Faith President! I'm the Environment President! I'm the Real American President! I'm the New Confederate President! I'm the save your social security president! I'm the Change Social Security President! I'm the Balanced Budget President!
I'm the Stop Loss President! I'm the Overtime President! I'm the Attack Iran president! (crumple)

I'm the Fair and Balanced President! I'm the Mission Accomplished President! (crumple) I'm the Health Care Reform President! I'm the Terror Beatin' President! I'm the Ronald Reagan President! I'm the Patriotic President! I'm the pro-life President! I'm the Destroy my enemies using the hand of God which I control absolutely through my satanic minions (crumple)...

[KelleyKramer]

Becasue he is the ultimate flip-flopper

Just image how many times they have changed 'we cant win the war on terror'.

This RNC convention is a disaster, there is nothing for Bush to run on ... they are going down the tubes and they know it.

[Kierkegaard]

13. I can't wait

not to watch it tonight!

[Philostopher]

15. They keep having to use shorter and shorter words.

And figure out ways to repeat the same talking points over and over in a way that the Dim Son won't stumble over. Gotta get lots of active, violent words in there, too -- he performs best when he's talking about killing people or stamping on those who disagree with him, so they have to keep it short, active and mean. And still use words that count up to an eighth-grade level vocabulary. And still not have it sound like they wrote the speech for an eighth-grader to deliver.

[underpants]

20. Well W DOES want a stick figure version of each draft

so he can understand it.

[ReadTomPaine]

16. "The speech is short."

"The speech is short. But it's the
most rousing speech I've ever read.
It's been worked on, here and in
Russia, on and off, for over eight
years."

RTP

[MrBenchley]

17. Or was it he drank 31 drafts....

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

19. No, but I drank 31 drafts!!

:toast: :beer: :silly:

[underpants]

24. We need to start working on the drinking game for this speech

Okay I'll start-If he mentions OBL you have to chug the whole drink.

If OBL pops out of the stage in chains go ahead and smash the bottle over your head.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

26. No, if OBL pops out of the stage,

I go to New York and smash a bottle over Bush's head. You bet your ass there'll be torches and pitchforks over that shit!

[underpants]

29. I had this weird feeling this morning

I posted this elsewhere but I had a really weird feeling about this.

Well if he did I wonder if the crowd would rush the stage-I wouldn't be surprised and if I was there I might want to get in a punch or two (sorry that is how I feel).

[realFedUp]

21. How's he going to read a teleprompter in the round?

:shrug:

[democratreformed]

22. The "bullet-proof, bomb-proof, chemical and biological-proof"

podium will rise from the depths inside his box.

I'm just making that up, but it sounds good, huh?

[kentuck]

25. It's called INDECISION !

They can't even decide what he is going to say ! :)

[Cobalt Violet]

28. One person for each letter of the alphabet...

One person to pass out paper, one person to pass out pencils, one person to put in the periods. one person to put in question marks. And one person to dictate roves talking points.

[Ducks In A Row]

30. they keep having to take out words he can't pronounce.

[RoyalWickedness]

31. Why bother

to WRITE a speech for someone who can't read??

[jmowreader]

32. It's hard to write a speech that long using only monosyllabic words

Here's how you write The Speech of Bush's Life:

Step 1: Write speech.

Step 2: Cross out all of the lies.

Step 3: Realize you can't send anyone out to make a one-hour speech with twelve words in it: "I'm George W. Bush and I will do anything to get reelected."

Step 4: Further realize you can't send him out there claiming he'll do anything to get reelected. Visions of Bush sending the Air Force to bomb Massachusetts and shoot down Kerry's campaign plane flit through your head.

Step 5: Put all of the lies back in, knowing that the Republicans don't want to hear the truth and as for the Democrats...the last time Bush introduced Laura to a Democrat as "my wife," the fucker asked for two forms of identification and his marriage license.

Step 6: Have Bush read the speech out loud.

Step 7: Remove all of the words Bush can't pronounce and replace them with ones he can that mean the same thing.

Step 8: Realize there are some words you can't replace, like "terrorism" and "nuclear." Put them back in, knowing that everyone realizes he can't pronounce those words.

Step 9: Insert phrase "God told me to strike at al-Qaeda and I did, and God told me to strike at Saddam and I did."

Step 10: Do quick search of Texas Department of Corrections records, learn that Bush executed 61 people who claim God told them to kill people, and figure the liberal press will start asking what makes Bush think he's so damn special. Quickly remove phrase.

Step 11: Briefly toy with the idea of getting a blank Texas death warrant, putting your name at the top of it, forging Bush's signature at the bottom, flying to Huntsville and demanding to be executed RIGHT FUCKING NOW! because death is better than trying to make this idiot sound presidential.

Step 12: Remember you have two children and a wife who loves you and don't want you to commit suicide.

Step 13: Briefly toy with the idea of getting a blank Texas death warrant, putting Bush's name at the top of it and "EXECUTE IMMEDIATELY--APPEALS WAIVED BY CONVICT" in the 'special instructions' block, and telling Dubya there's going to be a huge political rally in Huntsville this evening that he absolutely must attend.

Step 14: Throw out that idea too when you realize that they wouldn't take him down there until he makes this speech.

Step 14a: Realize you can't get a blank Texas death warrant by the end of the evening and quit thinking of people to put on them.

Step 15: Put the word God in there about five hundred times because he'll like that.

Step 16: Throw away entire speech because it reads like Bush talks and you have a master's degree in English, for God's sake, you have at least a modicum of respect for your craft. Write the speech the delegates expect to hear. Speech is three hours long.

Step 17: Translate the speech from German to English. Speech becomes 2.5 hours long because German takes longer to pronounce, especially when you speak English like an illegal alien.

Step 18: Call Bush's makeup artist and leave her message informing her that "special makeup" needs to be used tonight.

Step 19: Bush's makeup artist returns call. "I will NOT put a Hitler mustache on him! The little fucker wouldn't sit still long enough the last time we tried it!" Quickly go through the speech to remove all the Nazi language. Speech becomes four minutes long.

Step 20: Check speech once again. Remove the 40 "sieg heil"s that mysteriously got in there.

Step 21: Realize Bill Clinton is mentioned 82 times. Figure out at least 64 other places to put his name. Some of them are where you took out the "sieg heil"s.

Step 22: Finally you have a speech ready. Bush reads it. He can pronounce most of the words. It contains no Nazi references. It contains 300 instances of blaming Clinton, 250 instances of blaming Saddam and 400 instances of blaming Osama for everything that went wrong in Bush's first four years.

Step 23: Change "Osama" to "Al Gore" everywhere it appears.

Step 24: Bush goes to be prepared for the speech. He is fitted with two earpieces, one to listen to Rove, the other to Cheney. His podium is equipped with four teleprompters.

Step 25: Your work done, you seek out assistance for the evening. "Jenna, where's the cheapest, foulest, sleaziest two-bit dive in all New York?" Jenna takes you there. Four hours later, the bartender approaches you. "We're cutting you off. There's no more liquor!"

Step 26: The next day, you re-register as a Democrat.

[cheshire]

33. Revisions based on words he can read.

[tandot]

34. They had to take out words that Dubya can't pronounce

which means they essentially had to rewrite and dumb down the whole speech...until all difficult words were substituted with simple words

[skip fox]

36. Sometimes it takes MANY drafts. Like when the

crayons are old and keep breaking.