When is it time to give up on someone?

[Obamanaut]

I have a former SIL who sends us what seems like every "fwd to all you know" type email that can be found re anti-Obama drivel. For each and every one I send a debunking answer with numerous links such as Snopes, Factcheck, links I find here in DU, etc. (we always click on reply to all)

Today I got a response to the most recent debunking I sent, and it started out "I love you, but..." and I just added her to my blocked list. Is it too soon to give up? Some of the text of her email follows:
-----snip
"And, yes, I do check out the ones against the limited checking ability that we have such as a couple of the news sources and the traditional scopes.com, but realizing that even those are potentially slanted.??

I never voted for McC in the primaries; never thought he would be to this position, but when I line up the 2 main candidates side by side, with every piece of information that I can gather, all of which is biased in some way, then I really have to vote my conscience and my heart and go for the one that I feel is at least slightly better in some ways than the other.??"
-----snip
FWIW. She and her family (current husband, daughter, and her son in law) have attended inaugural balls after the last two elections.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. I don't think you can get her. Just leave her to her delusions. :^(

[Obamanaut]

3. I was struck by her only being able to find a couple of news

sources to check. There must be a brazillion available.

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. I think she just really, really wants to hang on to her mindset.

[Obamanaut]

And she's not the worst of my former or current in laws. Some are

fundies who don't want to listen to anyone. Especially me.

[unpossibles]

2. no wonder she can't find info if she's looking on "scopes.com"

lol.

Seriously, I hate to say it, but don't give up on her but definitely understand that she is just not going to listen to you. I've been there. And of course, their last resort is always "they're all the same" or "they're all biased" or whatever, without once admitting to any sort of error.

You could explain the difference between biased and factual, but it won't do any good, I hate to say.

[Obamanaut]

4. At the end of every email I've sent, I add a request that she not

fwd to everyone she knows without doing a little checking herself. I've been married over 40 years - sometimes I might lie.

[VolcanoJen]

6. Send her a bottle of aspirin.

She's gonna need it on November 5th. :-)

[Starry Messenger]

7. A Du-er just posted a good thread about this very thing this AM.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7434145

[Obamanaut]

15. Thanks. I went to that thread, got the link, fwd'ed them the most

recent smear rec'd by me, and got the response from them in under an hour. Won't these next four years be something!

[Starry Messenger]

17. Awesome! Yes, I can't wait for January 20th.

:thumbsup:

[Cheap_Trick]

8. Cut her loose

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

[gmoney]

9. she doesn't want to miss out on the balls...

[jobycom]

10. I rarely give up.

But I like to argue. From your SIL's words, she isn't the type who can be reached, because she's going off emotion rather than intellect, and she's basically just clinging to beliefs that she can see are wrong, and trying to defend herself doing it. No one shouts with greater certainty than the uncertain, and she seems, from the actions and words you describe, to be very uncertain. She's trying to convince herself by convincing others. I've heard preachers say that when you lack faith, act as though you have it and eventually you have. That's a simple form of self-hypnosis, and that's what she's doing.

So I'd say she's unreachable, but if you give up, she'll convince herself that she's convinced you that her beliefs are at least viable--that her reasons for believing them are right. That helps her continue to trick herself. Maybe continuing to fight with her will keep her uncertain, and maybe one day she'll see. Probably not, but maybe.

Just depends on why you are arguing with her, and what else you could be doing with your time. :)

[Obamanaut]

13. I've been responding to all those emails with misinformation

from anyone who sends them because I really like Sen. Obama and I do not like to see unfounded rumors, innuendos, mis-truths, and outright lies continue without challenge.

This is the very first election cycle that has created this much excitement for me, and for my wife as well. But we are going against the tide of all her family - all repubs, baptists, and pentacostals who delight in flooding our in-baskets with "stuff", some of which we have begun calling "family spam," and some of which have resulted in being put on our ignore list.

[jobycom]

14. Keep it up, then. You may be affecting others without knowing it.

I used to do that with an email group from a very conservative preacher. One of his relatives forwarded his posts on to me, and I would answer them and reply to all. The preacher started emailing me privately, asking how I was getting his emails, and dropping veiled threats (my job was connected to the person forwarding the emails). So I quit responding. After a while I started to get emails from others on the list, who told me they wished I'd keep arguing, because I was the only one who stood up to the bully, and a lot of people agreed with me.

You never know who else is reading what you write.

[MarthaMyDear]

11. I hate forwarded e-mails anyways....she'd def be on my "Block" list!

Those types of e-mails are usually have viruses attached and who know what all!

[Ganja Ninja]

12. Given the current situation, if she hasn't been able to get past the

right wing brainwashing by now then I'm afraid there's no hope for her. People in her condition need shock therapy. They need the disaster to affect them deeply and directly and it has to be prolonged enough to embitter them irreversibly.

[yardwork]

16. Obama's website has a place you can click to send emails that need debunking.

The campaign responds within minutes or hours. Then you can send the official response back to the senders, using the "reply to all" feature. You can be sure that the lies and misstatements will be thoroughly debunked, and in a polite way.

[Obamanaut]

19. Yes. I got the address from a link to another thread that was posted

upthread here. I sent them my most recent smear, and they really did respond in less than an hour.

Thanks for your response.

[stillcool]

18. It is not easy for anyone..

to let go of long-held socially acceptable beliefs, that define who they are. Especially if they've never traveled outside that environment which instilled those beliefs in them in the first place. Society all around them has changed, but they haven't poked their head outside to see.

[Bucky]

20. If you want it to stop, start reponding to her with the "Reply to All" button

It's a cheap trick, but will stop pestiferous emails every time

[Obamanaut]

21. I always 'reply to all' for the smear debunkings, as well as to the

various urban legends and hoaxes that come across our screen. Did one last night re "illegal aliens and social security change" that's been around since 2006. And I ask the one who sent it to me does anyone ever bother to research the "send to everyone" type email for accuracy.

Thanks.