Borowitz: Voters Giving * High Marks in War on Rather.

[spooky3]

www.borowitz.com

The reelection bid of President George W. Bush received some positive news today in the form of a new poll showing voters giving him high marks in the war on CBS newsman Dan Rather.

The poll, with a margin of error of five percentage points, asked likely voters, “Who do you trust more in the war against Dan Rather, President Bush or Sen. John Kerry?”

snip

One such voter, Ray Pauling, 56, expressed a typical view: “President Bush leaves you feeling like he’ll do everything in his power to destroy Dan Rather, but Kerry doesn’t even talk about it.”

snip

“We’re spreading ourselves too thin if we think we can fight Dan Rather and Kitty Kelley at the same time,” Mr. Pauling said.

***

Uh, given the reaction of some DUers to Andy Borowitz's prior work, I note: he writes SATIRE for a living.

[21winner]

1. So who cares?

Anoyher sorehead.

[spooky3]

2. excuse me, did you read the last line? This is HUMOR.

[livinginphotographs]

3. I just worry that his CBS policy

is based on misleading intelligence.

What happens after we remove Rather and CBS descends into chaos? You could have foreign terrorists from NBC or ABC or (god forbid!) even UPN coming over and stirring up trouble. Suicide bombers on the Today Show! Insurgents firing mortars at Everybody Loves Raymond! It'll be chaos, damn it!

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

4. Are you one of those weak-kneed commies that thinks

continuing the work of inspectors on West 52nd St (CBS corp. HQ) is a sound idea?

[livinginphotographs]

5. You're right.

I forgot all about Rather's rape rooms and mass graves. ;)

me <-----traitor

[Junkdrawer]

6. Correct Link:

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

[spooky3]

7. ooops! Sorry and thank you.