ASU Halts Recognition of MLK Holiday

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

(SATIRE from http://www.TheDesperateBlogger.com)

Arizona State University President Michael M. Crow, still basking in the glory of his school’s biggest public relations coup since the Sun-Devil basketball program’s 1994 point-shaving scandal, today announced that the University will no longer officially observe Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

“This should in no way be construed as a lack of respect for Reverend King,” Crow told reporters, noting that the 1964 Nobel Peace Prize recipient, “was only 39 years old when his life was tragically cut short,” and then explaining, “Thus, in the opinion of our Board of Governors, his main body of work was still ahead of him. To bestow an honor such as closing the school for a day every year would not be appropriate.”

The announcement came only one day after the university made public its controversial decision not to bestow an honorary degree upon President Obama when he delivers their Commencement address next month, ironically defending their position using the same rationale. A decision on the school’s continued recognition of Christmas Day is not expected until shortly before the fall semester course schedule is released, but based on recent events, Crow said he would advise students and faculty to, “get their shopping done by the middle of August”.

Past speakers who did receive honorary doctorates but could not be reached for comment include Frank Borman (1969), who, at age 41, received his just six months after commanding NASA’s Apollo 8 mission and six years before becoming CEO of the now defunct Eastern Airlines, and Kim Campbell (2005), who in 1993 became the first female Prime Minister of Canada, holding that office for 132 days, which, as Mr. Crow pointed out, “is a record for female Canadian Prime Ministers that still stands to this day”.

Crow, who has been the target of a national firestorm of criticism over the university’s Presidential snub, did however receive a strong gesture of support from a group of Trustees who today unveiled a t-shirt (pictured below) expressing solidarity with their embattled leader which they are encouraging fellow supporters from the University community to wear while attending President Obama’s speech.



In a related story, students at Notre Dame University staged a noontime rally protesting the school’s invitation to President Obama to deliver their Commencement address. The students find Obama’s appearance inappropriate for the Jesuit university because of his pro-choice stance on abortion as well as his support of embryonic stem-cell research. They do, however, support his efforts to kill suspected terrorists. University President, Rev. John I. Jenkins, downplayed the controversy, telling reporters, “Our students are a community comprised of very active, vibrant young adults. Any distraction from the abstinence thing is a welcome one.”

[TheCowsCameHome]

1. Better yet: Mr. Crow, eat me.

Where do they get these jerks?

[Raineyb]

2. Wasn't Arizona the LAST state to recognize the holiday?

Looks like some people in the state are still pissed about it.

This Crow person sounds like a real asshole.

Regards

[GentryDixon]

4. YES they were.

[Phx_Dem]

5. It certainly was. Yet another embarrassment, among many, for my home state.

Most Arizonans are a bunch of wingnuts with no class and no clue. As a second-generation native, it pains me to say that but it is what it is.

Michael Crow sounds like a huge asshole. He's now "reconsidering" giving the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and leader of the free world a lame-ass honorary degree from his crappy University. Oh goody! Our Harvard-educated President must be so thrilled. Not.

ASU can go go fuck itself.

:puke:

[PBS Poll-435]

6. And in 1983 some asshole from AZ-01 voted agaist the holiday in the House

You know him better as John McCain.

[rufus dog]

9. Bruce Babbitt tried to save the state from itself

He signed an Executive Order while leaving office as to Governor, knowing that the State would embarrass itself in a vote. Nice try on his part.

[damntexdem]

3. With Crow as president, ASU's main body of work is obviously behind it.

They are giving up any claim to eminence.

President Obama should be encouraged to cancel his commencement address -- or use it to lambaste this decision.

[Cha]

7. Wow, I was looking for "satire" but I

didn't it at first so I thought it was REAL!

[WinkyDink]

8. "ASU Cancels Program of Mozart. Says Main Body of Work Ahead of Him."

[fortyfeetunder]

10. Who are they appeasing (with the Obama thing)? McCain?

Is this a peace offering for McCain losing the election?

[Karenina]

11. It matters not. They've rendered themselves an international JOKE.

:rofl:

[sakura]

12. So Crow knows better than the Nobel Prize Committee

Racism masquerading as ageism. Who'd a thunk it?