Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care

[ipaint]

WASHINGTON—After months of committee meetings and hundreds of hours of heated debate, the United States Congress remained deadlocked this week over the best possible way to deny Americans health care.

"Both parties understand that the current system is broken," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters Monday. "But what we can't seem to agree upon is how to best keep it broken, while still ensuring that no elected official takes any political risk whatsoever. It’s a very complicated issue."

"Ultimately, though, it's our responsibility as lawmakers to put these differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve," Pelosi added.

The legislative stalemate largely stems from competing ideologies deeply rooted along party lines. Democrats want to create a government-run system for not providing health care, while Republicans say coverage is best denied by allowing private insurers to make it unaffordable for as many citizens as possible.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/congress_deadlocked_over_how_to

[BrklynLiberal]

1. It would be so much funnier if it were not so sadly true....

[ipaint]

2. It's the absolute truth. n/t

[Mojambo]

3. Classic! n/t

[Autumn]

4. It is indeed a dilemma , isn't it. I almost

feel that it isn't satire.

[NecklyTyler]

5. Is it real, or is it Memorex?

[slipslidingaway]

6. "But what we can't seem to agree upon is how to best keep it broken..."

says it all!

[ljm2002]

7. Hilarious headline!

And like all great humor, there is a recognizable if tragic reality behind it.

[CreekDog]

8. For a moment I thought this was real

Until I realized that it is. :wtf:

:banghead:

[bluethruandthru]

9. This probably has more 'facts" in it than most pieces written

about the health care issue.