Kerry needs Al Frankenn or a comedian to help him plan debate

[genius]

He needs someone who can come up with lines that will make the point and grab attention.

[jpgray]

1. I'd take Jon Stewart over Al Franken (nt)

[genius]

3. Fine by me. He needs to be prepared with lots of witty answers.

[Kierkegaard]

4. Too bad Sam Kinison is dead.

He could probably come up with a couple zingers. Something along the lines of: "Hey Butch, you won't recognize your mom when she gets home. I shaved her back. OH OHHHHHH!"

[JohnKleeb]

5. Stewart would be good

Kerry seemed to love the oil industry rep they had on the show the night they interviewed him, you know that little girl.

[jpgray]

6. Jon would never do it, though

I have the feeling he's not interested in throwing in with a side here, although it's clear he's much more upset with the Bush administration.

[JohnKleeb]

10. true maybe he could hire me ;)

[tridim]

7. Wasn't that "little girl" Steven Colbert's kid?

[JohnKleeb]

11. I dont know

I wouldnt be surprised though, because those two were great together. I loved how Steven tried to make the small gas station owner to be the villian and the oil company the victim, just classic.,

[xray s]

2. He has the best right there beside him

John Edwards

[AuntPatsy]

8. Sadly, most conserves don't have a sense of humor unless

it is making fun of Liberals so that would only appeal to the pro Kerry crowd and defeat his chance of winning over a few conserves...

I agree that John Edwards should be his backbone, stick to the facts and you will surely win...

[soothsayer]

9. Except all the probs facing us are so serious----is it good to laff it up?

[kerryin2004]

12. Laughter is the best medicine n/t

[BillZBubb]

13. One good quip can steal a debate.

But it's a two edged sword. One bad quip can kill you.

I think some humorous self-deprecation by Kerry about his supposed wordiness would be an excellent way to start his opening statement.

[cheshire]

14. Needs someone like Dave Chappell, vs *'s Boozo

[JohnKleeb]

15. oh man that would be so cool if he had Chappelle

but Dave is better at doing variety spots than one liner jokes.

[TheDonkey]

16. I'd like to see Kerry throw around the N-word and make rick james jokes

and other jokes that exploit black people too!

[hansolsen]

17. Humor won't cut it. We need rightous anger for what Bush has done.

Kerry needs to make a fundamental decision on how to deal with Bush on Iraq and other major topics. He must choose whether or not to make character an explicit issue.

Option A: Take character off the table and treat this election as if Bush were Ike, but dumb.

Focus on George Bush being a bungling incompetent idiot who has made the wrong choices at every turn, but acknowledge the conventional wisdom that Bush is still a good hearted, God fearing, patriotic, all American good guy everyone wants to have a beer with. Keep everything civil at all costs. Don't get angry.

This option always begins with this clause, "I like George Bush, but --"

Option B: Make character issue number one, name names, and get angry because rightous anger is warranted. Start by saying, "I don't like George Bush, let me tell you why."

Call Shrub out for what he is: George Bush, the boy Emperor, is Caligula in training pants. He is evil incarnate. He is the Prince of Abu Ghraib. He deliberately lied about WMD and approved torture of detainees he denied protection under the Geneva Convention. The war in Iraq is a personal vendetta, planned years in advance. Bush misused both the flag and religion for partisan political purposes. And about ten more things that 80% of the Dem base can quote chapter and verse.

This option starts with speaking for the Dem base and calling a spade a spade. These sentences could all begin with this clause, "George Bush is the least Christian man who ever served in the Oval Office; for example -- ".

I recommend option B.
I am begging for option B.
Actually, I demand option B.

Option B has the great redeeming value that it is true.

[Gregorian]

18. I hate to say it, but the "debates" are scripted.

There will be no debates. Not debates as defined in any dictionary, or reasonable person's vocabulary.

So, he won't be needing much of anything.

Edit- I should have said the town hall meeting. That will be scripted. But I would imagine the debate(s) will be anything but spontaneous.