I work for a minister here in NV/CA... need some help

[FirstLight]

questions on my copy, want it to be "PC" for want of a better term. I never thought of my writing to come across as condesending... but it's possible and the last thing I wanna do is offend a potential customer.

First: I know the term 'alternative lifestyle' is not so hot... got a better term? this is a monister that does all sorts of ceremony, so she is certainly not judgemental about it. But she is also from a different generation and her idea of what's okay and what's not could be a little off or out of touch

second: can you tell me where the copy goes wrong? I wrote it probably 2 years ago and edited it once, so it has been sitting there collecting dust for a while. as i revisit my own stuff i usually find things that are REALLY bad, so don;t worry about huhrting my feelings! ;)
thanks...

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Rev. ---- recognizes that your commitment to each other is a life-affirming event, and offers vows that reflect the love you share. She is a champion of individual preference and style, and strives to incorporate your personal rituals and traditions into her ceremonies. She never ceases to bring a great level of joy to sacred moments.

Rev. --- will provide you with ceremonies that you may alter to fit your personal needs, and she welcomes your desire for original vows as well. Let your ceremony reflect your unique relationship and the lake reflect your deep and special love.

"We cannot express enough how thankful we are for your grace, compassion and love. The goddess truly spoke through you. Everyone was in awe of the ceremony.." L&J, June 2003

Whether your party is two or two hundred, Rev. Lucie can direct you to the many LGBT-friendly locations around the South Shore of Lake Tahoe. Following your ceremony, you will receive a beautiful Certificate of Commitment.**

For pricing information, see the Services page.

**Spiritual Commitment ceremonies are not recognized by the state as a legal union of two people. Certificates of Commitment are not legal documents, and do not represent any legal union between two people.

(and yes, we had to put that silly disclaimer at the bottom till the stupid law is fixed)