I did something different that made me feel better. What do you think?

[SeattleGirl]

I've been working more and more with The Secret, and am producing results. However, in this one situation, I have some anger and frustration that I've been having a hard time getting past.

So, earlier tonight, I wrote an email to the person concerned, talking about my feelings, but I didn't send it. I saved it as a draft. And I felt a lot better.

The Secret, as well as other books like it, talk about letting go of anger, frustration, etc., because of how it can block the good things, which I agree with. But sometimes, when those feelings do come up for me, I end up trying to stuff them down and pretend they aren't there, which I don't think is very positive. I believe that we all have those feelings from time to time, and sometimes letting go of them means expressing them, though it's not always a good idea to express them directly to said person.

I feel that by writing that email, addressed directly to said person, got my feelings out, but by just doing it as a draft, I wasn't adding energy to the negative feelings, but rather, letting them go.

I do feel better, better than I have in days.

Anyone have any thoughts about this? Anyone done anything similar? Thanks for your thoughts. :hug:

Edited to add: I CAN tell this person about how I feel; it's not that I'm trying to hide the feelings. But in this particular case, I really felt that to send the email would have been counter productive. The main thing I was trying to do was release the negative feelings.

[NJCher]

1. writing regularly can help one grow by leaps and bounds

I can't explain how, but somehow in the process of writing, we uncover new truths and grow much faster than if we did not put our thoughts into words.

I discovered this in the late 80s and early 90s, when the Internet was gaining its foothold. I had various e-mail friends and we would exchange maybe 60-80 bytes a day, just talking about our lives. Soon I noticed how much clearer events and issues in my life came to be. It was because writing was helping me "process" experience.

It's one thing to have amorphous ideas floating about one's head, quite another to give those thoughts form with language.



Cher

[Why Syzygy]

2. I agree.

Writing definitely helps one process experience.

[SeattleGirl]

6. Thanks, both of you.

I am pretty good at expressing myself through spoken language, but my best form of expression seems to be via written language. When I was a teenager, and my mom and I had a difficult time communicating, we would often leave each other notes. It helped enormously.

I think it is the same, even if one does not send the message.

[Bluestar]

3. This is a great idea

Just don't accidentally hit the "send" button!

My guides have taught me another way to deal with this. That is to have a "telepathic conversation" with the person. You just imagine that you are speaking to them and you tell them everything that is on your mind. You will find that you get imagined "responses" from them, sometimes with insights that you didn't have before.

It's so interesting because when you do this, it's like the other person "gets it". Years ago, I had some of these conversations with my dad because I couldn't get up the nerve to do it in person. The next time I talked to him, he brought things up out of the blue like "I'm proud of you". He had never said these things to me ever before in my life and they came up in our conversation out of nowhere.

Sending you good energy with your work on The Secret.

Love and peace,
Bluestar

[lildreamer316]

5. Now THAT I really like!

I'm gonna have to try that too, Thanks!!!

[SeattleGirl]

7. That's so cool, about you and your dad, Bluestar.

And thanks for the good energy.

Love and peace to you, too. :hug:

[DemExpat]

13. This idea sounds very interesting to me, Bluestar.

I think I'll give this a try with my husband and our rocky communication.

:hi: :hug:

DemEx

[lildreamer316]

4. I do that all the time.

I find that once I write it down; most of the time I don't need to send/give it. Ever.
Isn't it a relief?
Oh so nice.

[SeattleGirl]

8. 'Tis definitely a relief!

I had felt so bottled up, and now I feel so much better, getting it "out there".

[SeattleGirl]

9. I know! I'll start a "feelings" diary!

That way, I won't "accidentally" send an email to someone, yet I still have a way to talk to someone about how I feel, when I think it's better not to say something directly to the person at the time.

Have I ever told you folks that you are great and wonderful people?

[Why Syzygy]

10. do you know

how many "drafts" I have? You are onto something big!

Of course I have been known to blow off my BIG mouth sometimes too.
So far, no litigation.

[SeattleGirl]

11. Ha! My BIG mouth has gotten me into a bit of trouble too!

No litigation here, either, but MrSG lives in fear that I'll end up at Guantanamo.

[stellanoir]

12. here's the 17th of my "19 tricks or Weapons of Mass Creation for Global Amelioration" from last year

If you want to really clean up and transform the dynamic. . .

"17. OMG, I just remembered yet another wondrous trick, this one is from a
lady visionary activist who is most inspiring.
(http://www.visionaryactivism.com)

Whenever a dynamic with another breaks down and reaches an impasse, sit
down and write them a letter, and don't hold back anything you feel.
Then read the letter aloud, then burn it. As ever, be cautious with
fire. I employ the use of pliers and a cast iron skillet when I do
this. Then release the ashes into moving water. It's nice to do in
nature, but a sink or toilet will do just as well. This is how one
sends another a spiritual fax. It is great magic as it moves the
restrictions in the dynamic through all of the four elements and
purifies the emotions and sends a great healing to both you and the
higher self of the person with whom one is hassled. It works and leaves no paper trail."

[SeattleGirl]

16. I forgot about this! I've done this in the past.

Thanks, stellanoir, for reminding me.

[SeattleGirl]

19. stellanoir, I just did this with what I wrote to this person.

After I printed out the letters (there were two of them), I deleted them from my computer, then burned them (carefully), and flushed the ashes down the toilet.

Thanks again for this suggestion. :hug:

[DemExpat]

14. Writing has saved my sanity at times.

I have a stack of yearly journals in my closet from the past couple of decades, and I've used this technique for some problems with people as well.

Generally I use journalling to pour all of my negativity into so that I don't have to carry it around in my daily life's business! It works extremely well for me.

:hug:

DemEx

[SeattleGirl]

17. I used to keep diarys when I was younger.

That's what I'm trying to do -- get the negativity out so I don't have to carry it around with me. :hug:

[Celebration]

15. yes I did that once

Over about a week one time I wrote and honed a perfect and devastating letter to one of my daughter's teachers. I had already expressed my displeasure at a certain situation, but I felt I needed to put it in writing and send this letter. I wrote it, edited it, rewrote it, edited it some more, until I felt it was a work of art. This was the PERFECT letter. Then, inexplicably, I had absolutely no desire to send it. It wasn't that I had written the letter in order to vent my feelings. My full intention had been to write the letter and send it. I think having that intention was actually important in getting rid of my feeling.

Irony: First of all, this teacher was a nice person, and a good teacher overall. Nevertheless I was very correct about my feelings. Thank goodness I didn't send that letter!! Another daughter of mine married her son ten plus years later!!! She's still a little leary of me even though I didn't send the letter. What would it be like now if I had sent it? Yikes.

I often think of this incident. I think it is always best to wait to send a letter like that. Write it first, hone the letter, and *then* decide if you really want to send it.

[SeattleGirl]

18. It's definitely good you didn't send that letter, itsjustme!

THAT would have made for some awkward situations.