A poem I wrote you all might like

[undergroundpanther]

The Last Time I Died...
by Underground Panther in the Sky.

My cat is watching from her golden goddess eyes
Sitting on my window sill in regal repose.
In my home watching TV on a lazy afternoon..

Suddenly, A crack,it all goes black,
I can't breathe!Wait a minute, dammit!
What just happened?!!?

But nobody was there to hear me.
I wasn't even sure I had heard myself say it,
Or if I just imagined saying it..
Too late,I raised my hand in protest,
to signal any unseen observers eye,not ready,to die.
as if my upraised hand could halt
That bullet tearing into brain.

The maple floor rushed up that day to meet me with a thud.
The woodgrain looks nice with that new coat of polyurethane.
An arc of red runs to the rug just past the corner of my eye.
Sunlight is still shining in through my window.
A patch of sky is in my view,
Cat had left the scene.
Startled out of her repose no doubt.
fluffy clouds drift by
between monotonous drips of red,
It is almost like any other day.

The world looks like a dirty little window
When there's nothing alive inside
When are you are so sure it will stay the same,
It changes again.
The cold settles into my stiffening limbs.
even though it's 80 degrees today.

You realize,even dirty little windows get washed,
if only with rain and tears.Loved or unloved.
Lives go by and perish whether lived or not.
They giving it their best or not,they all perish.
Time has no meaning...I disconnect..

Relaxing rot, gaseous sigh, the internal swarm ,
bursting forth like maggot fireworks out of the orifices .
Shades of green to purple ,turned to black'
ungodly ichor,dries..in greasy streaks.
old cracks run with mystery fluids in sunken grey eyes
A tuft of hair falls away revealing slimy skull
Maggots feast. My cat was supposed to be
taken by a stranger, but I think she ran away.
I struggle to remember her as it grew light again.

The phone rang and rang,Than they came in.
The Cat ran past them out the door,
They said better,notify his next of kin.
They rolled out the yellow tape,
Across the door, across the floor,
Grim decorations celebrating a crime scene.
They took notes and pictures all day.
Talking to each other,masks on.

The dust motes didn't care..the windowsill had nothing to say.
I tried to tell them I was here,but they couldn't hear me
I tried to grab their shirts to shake them to their senses.
I just fell through them, I looked into the mirror on the mantel
and I saw nothing,I had no way to say..what was ?
The body taken away ,a zipper bag closed up
and drove away in a black van.

People came in again,the couch left,so did the mirror,my bed and my collection of cat statues,moved away by people tearfully who I barely remember.

The old wooden floor whispers the outline of my final position,
An off colored stain left in the polyurethane,
Silent bare walls, in the moonlight.
Now the tape is gone, the flies are gone,
Just a weird smell and empty rooms.

Darkness stretches forth,
as street lamps flicker themselves on.
Floating in this room so empty,
I'm more alone than alone,
I find I no longer have a home.

So I drift out the window to street unfamiliar
A cat perches herself in regal repose outside
on a dumpster lid in the alley,
I wonder..Do I know her presence from before?
She knows the way,her eyes call,so I follow,

I look at her looking into the eyes of her prey,
Leaping,her ivory fangs snap together severing tiny neck,
and the diminutive cries go unheard,blood on the street..
Death comes,and I see myself again,

Death it comes, it always will,
it transforms us away from ourselves,
without making a sound it changes everything.
What does the end mean to an eternal soul ?

Moving into a vast dark space
I am this space less timeless thing,
I can't remember...
I feel a spark falling? or am I rising?...
Is that a heartbeat..beating next to me?

Warm little wisps of drifting dark in bodies ocean
connected ,corded ,pulsing, and growing,
Tighter closer, now no room to move,
Crushing,struggle and fight,one by one
are pushed through a tunnel of light.
A rupture, a touch,tender shivering
a rough tongue wakes me up, And..
Breathe..

Looking into those eyes again, Mother
Eternal,in her oceans of gold,green and blue
She loves me into being,
Softly purring,like a dream come true
I knead her,drinking all this sweetness in,
Death has brought me to life again.

[LaurenG]

1. That is an excellent poem.

:hug: you had me all the way through. Good work!

[I Have A Dream]

2. Wonderful. Thank you *so* much for sharing it with us.

I know that you really resonate with the last line. Indeed, it is then that the illusion ends.