DailyOM: "Taking Our Turn To Give - People In Need"

[I Have A Dream]

Taking Our Turn To Give
People In Need
July 28, 2008

When we see a person in need, we may want to give them something as a way of helping them, but if we give without taking the time to see who they really are, honoring that most of all, our gift is nowhere near as powerful as it could be. We may want to give a homeless person a sandwich, for example, but if we give it without also taking a moment to look the person in the eye, making authentic contact, we rob them of the experience of being human.

Being in a position of need leaves a lot of people feeling vulnerable and full of self-doubt. The greatest gift we can give is to meet people in need without judgment and with the awareness that we are not superior to them simply because we are not currently in their position. If we take the long view, we can see that we all began life in need of a lot of care and attention, and many of us end life in the same way. Giving and receiving are companion energies that take turns throughout our lives, and we all get a chance to be on both sides of the exchange from time to time.

It’s important to be aware of our own tendency to give from a desire to feel good about ourselves, rather than from an acknowledgement of our connection to all people. Letting go of our self-importance allows us to see that, regardless of appearances, we are all givers and receivers. When we are in the position of the giver, we honor those we are helping when we remember the many people who have helped us. Then we can look the person we are helping in the eye, aware that we are making contact with a human being who is our equal.

http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2008/14784.html

[LaurenG]

1. I like thiis one. (not that I didn't like the others too) :)

Carolyn Myss in her book, "Invisible Acts of Power" states the same thing.

We can't ignore the person or try to make ourselves feel better by not connecting.

Thanks!

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. Amen.

I've found that we are extremely fragile beings, and if our connection to the pack is severed, the heart becomes disconnected from the overall process of life and life energy, especially here in a town like LA, with very little actual heart energy to be found. A genuine moment of "I see you, I welcome you, I accept you" contact, of being in anothers' presence, can make a huge difference. I am saddened at learning of this level of weakness in ourselves, but presume that it is there for this specific lesson- to have compassion and to learn to work for the benefit of community, not self.

Most of the homeless I've been in contact with over a period of time are little different than you or I- excepting bad circumstances and perhaps a disease such as alcoholism, with no support system in place to offer to pull them back into community at whatever level they may be willing to engage. Breaks my heart...

[lildreamer316]

3. Ya know, just opening the door for someone these days is a connective act!

You'd be suprised at how many people do not expect this simple thing, and are suprised when I do it.

[Why Syzygy]

5. The same thing happens with eye contact.

I try to always remember to make eye contact with every service person, drive-through clerk, whoever. They too get a look of surprise that someone is actually making eye contact. We as a crumbling civilization are sorely lacking in touch/connection/contact of all kinds. We got digital. Which, btw, I for one really appreciate. When I can't get in touch with my online friends, I get antsy.

[BlueIris]

4. "It’s important to be aware of our own tendency to give from a desire to feel good about ourselves"

So true.