Conservative men suck!!

[Hello_Kitty]

Ok, so I've been doing the online personals for about 3 months now, having decided that I'm desirous of male company after a long period of solitude since my last long term relationship. Yahoo and match.com allow members to indicate their political views and I tend to avoid the ones who say they are conservative. Well, unless they are really hot looking, I gotta admit. But I've come to realize that I need to be with someone who shares my basic values and worldview. And frankly, anyone who identifies as GOP ain't it for me. Even if politics doesn't come up during the discussion, the more conservative guys tend to be boring, materialistic, self-absorbed, and judgemental. And if politics does come up, fuggetaboutit! On the other hand, when the guy is a liberal Bush hater, we get along great and the conversation flows, even if we are just preaching to the choir. It's more than just politics, I honestly think. I've come to believe that certain personalities gravitate to certain views. And I vastly prefer people who are open-minded, intellectually curious, and compassionate to those who are rigid, narrow-minded, and callous. So, sorry Bushies, I'm not going to date you no matter how attractive you are. So there.

Years ago when I was much more appeasing and accomodating to the male ego I would downplay my liberal views in deference to the guy. Not anymore. It's just not worth it to me to either hide my true feelings or constantly have to defend them in order to maintain a relationship. I'd rather be alone thank you very much.

I just wanted to share that.

[NashVegas]

1. I've Had Mixed Feelings

For me it really depends on how they identify themselves as conservative; 95% of the people I've ever known are more conservative than I am, so I take a lot of it with a grain of salt in personal dealings. If I shut them completely out of my life, I wouldn't have one.

That said:

I get along quite well with the breed of conservative male who views our political discussions as a low-or-no-stakes game. Better yet, an exchange of ideas or opinions to be explored. If it turns into an intellectual competition where someone thinks points actually matter and starts keeping score, ack. Sooner or later that competition is going to spill over outside the realm of politics.

If it's someone who closely identifies themselves with the conservative viewpoint, forget it. When you attack their arguments, you're attacking *them,* in their mind. Likewise, when they attack your arguments, they're attacking *you,* as well.

When I was in college I briefly dated a guy whose politics I never knew, but thought he was an emotionally-blackmailing jerk, once I got to know him. Years later I saw he was running an anti-Clinton website, and was never so happy that I didn't fuck someone as I was when I saw that.

However:

There's a particular breed of liberal male I don't get along with, either. I've known two or three with this attitude: they're down with womens' rights and minorities' rights and just about everyones' rights under the sun. They espouse all the standard liberal philosophies, but when it comes time to put up or shut up, there's a problem. They're fine, as long as they're the one making the decisions, and they're fine as long as they don't feel their intellectual superiority is threatened.

I used to work, very closely, with one of those and it was miserable. I described him to someone on another message board, and got a response telling me I'd encountered a "Yahweh in a skirt."

Given the choice between hooking up with a conservative or a liberal, I'd choose liberal in a heartbeat. But more important, I think, is someone who doesn't wig out when their views are challenged.

[Hello_Kitty]

3. I've met those liberal guys too

Insecure and controlling. I've learned to recognize them and give them a wide berth too. But I still hold out a glimmer of hope for them to actually apply their principles to their personal behavior. Who knows? It could happen...

With conservative guys, particularly the really competitive ones you described it's a disaster. I work with a few of them. They will try to bait me with comments hoping I'll get in an argument with them. Sometimes I rise to the bait and of course I show them up because, well, I'm a liberal so I know my shit and their dittohead talking points are so easily shot down. Their mocking demeanor turns petulant and bitter as they quickly realize that they're not 'gonna tell this little gal how things are' like they thought. It's not even fun for me anymore, it's getting downright annoying and sometimes scary. I think in the last few years due to the contentiousness of the last elections and the proliferation of conservative media, particularly the radio hosts and hate blogs, these misogynistic bigots are getting emboldened. And they don't even bother to hide their racism when discussing the Iraq war and the Middle East.

When the tsunami hit our company was collecting donations for the victims. Just about everyone gave, even those of us who had already given on our own before. Guess who didn't? You got it. The hardcore repukes. One jerk ass non-giver actually joked that it was God's way of controlling their population. He's got a W sticker on his big pickup truck, of course. So much for Compassionate Conservatism, eh?

[Longhorn]

2. I first saw my husband across a crowded room and was physically attracted

to him. So I went over and started talking to him. I fell in love with him when we started talking religion and politics the second or third time we talked. We were both 19 and I was just coming to terms with my views -- in fact, I was discovering that what I previously thought were my views were my parents' views and I was finally breaking free and admitting how I really believed. My husband had already formed his views and I was impressed. He gave me the courage to "come out" as a liberal and an atheist, yet he never pushed his views on me one bit.

We've been married 29 years and I've often thought that I could never have married someone whose views I did not respect. Since I have less and less respect for Republicans these days, I'm very glad that is not an issue between us! Now I see our four children, 21 to 26, coming to the same conclusion, though my oldest daughter doesn't seem to feel as strongly about it as the rest of us.

[Kerrytravelers]

4. My husband comes from a fundy fruitcake, * loving family.

Terrible people, really.

Anyway, when we first met, he was still registered rethug, but he seemed so interested in my liberal feminist viewpoint. He just kept asking me questions and really interested in this new world I showed him (I'm from a very, very long line of staunch Democrats.) He reregistered as a Dem and is, I swear, more left than I am. He was out there, hoofing it for Kerry. He's a feminist, anti-impoerialism, he's out there at all the peace rallies. He has also battled it out with his terrible family and stood his ground quite nicely.

We are a team.

Also note, he is rare jewel. Stick with liberals- it's a safer bet. I was VERY, VERY LUCKY!!!!

[Lisa0825]

5. I decided I'll never date a conservative/republican again.

My ex-husband was a moderate republican. He voted for Clinton and Ann Richards, so he wasn't all bad. But in dating since my divorce, Ijust decided I no longer wanted to give conservatives a shot. Politics has become too important to me now. It's my biggest hobby. I want someone who can share that with me. Someone who will go to protests with me and work on campaigns with me.

I posted a question about online personals in the lounge a couple months ago, and someone referred me to www.democraticsingles.net. I signed up that day. Within a couple weeks, I was contacted by a really interesting guy, very nice looking, funny, smart, etc. and we have a LOT in common. He lives in another state, but he is flying in to meet me in 5 weeks!!! I'm really excited! :loveya:

I am definitely only meant to be with a liberal man. I won't settle for less.

[Longhorn]

6. That's really cool!

My husband is a liberal but he likes to sit and rant, not march. :(

[Dissent Is Patriotic]

7. Try democraticmatch.com n/t

[Kashka-Kat]

8. Not neocons

there are the free thinker / libertarian or old-school fiscal conservative free market or Jeffersonian types - those are OK esp. if they respect democratic process and understand the value of 2 party system. I have had great discussions on other forums w such people so I know they exist and could imagine having a relationship with such a person.

But no, I do not tolerate willful ignorance or stupidity-- like not knowing that Iraqis are not Al Quaida, or that it was Al Quaida who attacked us on 9/11 and not Saddam. I would not respect that person-- either they have some deep seated personality issues that are keeping them from seeing reality or they are just ignorant and ill informed.

On a related issue, when I was working in a print shop I became aware of the connection between men wearing COLOGNE and being an asshole. This also coincided with them being sexist and politically republican or conservative. I got so that I could smell a guy and know whether I'd like them or not!