What, you mean THAT is offensive?

[Heddi]

but I was only joking. Like last time :eyes:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x5038778

see, I was trying to tell her she was sexy. That's okay, right? I mean, she's just my boss. How DARE I get called into the office for that. I was just kiddin'. Thank god I kept my job.....

I point this out because, once again, women are reminded that we should welcome any comment on our bodies, even if those comments are made at work, made by a coworker, a boss, a teacher, a student. There are many people who have the misguided belief that women really do want to receive these comments, and that any woman who does NOT want to hear these things from her co-workers, boss, teacher, etc, has something wrong with her. Equally, if that woman complains about comments like this to higher-ups, then that means the woman is uptight, doesn't have a sense of humor, can't take a joke, etc.

It reminds me of comments in this thread:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=229x3934#3952

It's quite a dichotomy for women. We're told that if we TRULY want to avoid rape, we must make sure we fight as hard as possible, say "no" as firmly as possible, etc.

Yet, when we DO say 'no', we are reminded that we really didn't mean "no". And there are men, of course, who feel they are the sole arbiter of whether or not 'no' means 'no', 'maybe', or 'yes'.

It just goes to show that the "But I said no" argument doesn't always hold up because, as we all know, we must not have MEANT 'no', even if we said it numerous times.

[MountainLaurel]

1. After that second one

I'm real glad my husband and I have marked Madison off our list of places to which we might possibly relocate.

:scared:

[xmas74]

7. don't let that one person stop you.

Madison is a wonderful city. If we had the money to relocate my daughter and I would already be there. It's one of my top choices for relocation.

[MountainLaurel]

17. We're not

Actually, it's the rest of Wisconsin that makes us nervous, plus, my husband isn't keen on being so far away from the ocean and fresh seafood. Yes, food is one of the determining factors in where we settle. :eyes:

[Warpy]

18. I live in the desert, New Mexico

and it took a while, but I finally located a few sources for decent fish. I got spoiled when I bought it right off the boat on Cape Cod, so yes, I'm a true fish snob.

Even supermarkets are getting a little better when it comes to flown in fish. Yes, it's more expensive in a land locked area and yes, preparation should be different, but it's still possible for a fish lover to live in a land locked area.

Unevolved males are everywhere. They're even plentiful here at DU, wondering why we should bother our pretty heads about Casey's stand against women's reproductive freedom if he can defeat mean old Santorum, who also is against women's reproductive freedom. They really don't get it.

I turned Madison down when I was ready to relocate from Boston because I didn't want to go to a place with more snow, not less.

However, for me it was radio stations. I turned down several places here in the southwest because their radio stations sucked. Give me a town with at least one progressive station and one classical station and I'll be happy. Any town that has both of those will have the other amenities I desire, like indie bookstores, food co ops, and people who think.

Unevolved males are here, too. I've learned to ignore them.

[xmas74]

19. I grew up in SE WI-Kenosha.

You can still get quite a bit of freshwater fish. Salmon was pretty popular where I lived and readily available. Lots of ethnic food available too-SE and Madison have progressive, multicultural populations. And SE includes Milwaukee plus is very close to the Chicago area-easy commute to Chicago.

Mostly it depends on what you are looking for. Lobster fresh from the ocean that morning-no. It has to be shipped in. But freshwater is abundant and fishing is a hobby for many. Dining out has never included a stingy portion-the old German farmers wouldn't allow it!

Just look over the area. Northern is more conservative but the further south you go the more progressive it gets. And living in the southern or in Central (mainly Madison) allows you wonderful weekends in the North for camping, hiking, fishing, herb gathering, etc.

[lukasahero]

2. Hmmm. I'll start the countdown

No doubt this thread will get locked. Before it does, can I just ask how it is we still have people in the world today that think this juvenile behavior and mentality is funny? FTR, in the most recent post (now locked) the author was seriously taken to task by most responders.

This OP needs a bit of a talking to, if you ask me. Maybe some of the guys who say they care about women's issues will be bold enough to stand up to him and say something? (Anyone dare me to hold my breath?)

[Heddi]

3. How can it be locked?

this isn't a call to arms to infiltrate a thread. It's pointing out two quite common misperceptions among many people in the world (not just at DU):

1) There is nothing wrong with telling a woman you work with that she is sexy. Any woman who does not want to hear comments like that are somehow wrong in the head, as any woman should like being told they are sexy, even if it is by a coworker, boss, teacher, etc.

and

2) It does no good to use the "But I said 'No'" defense regarding rape because many men are under the impression that 'No' does not always mean 'No', and that they have the psychic powers to determine when 'no' means 'yes' and when 'no' means 'maybe' and when 'no' truly does mean 'no'

I'm just pointing out some of the hurdles women continue to face in this world.

Besides, both topics are locked and there is no way that we could pile on the threads and give our countering opinion. And no DU'er was being called out either. I was just pointing to two threads that deal explicitly with many of the issues we face these days.

[lukasahero]

4. I didn't say it "should" be,

You make excellent arguments in fact as to why it should not be. Sometimes, that's all I hoping to achieve. :)

[Heddi]

5. Oh no, I totally got what you were saying

sorry if it sounded like I was being overly snarky. :D

[bloom]

10. If the thread wasn't locked - I would suggest he needs counseling

I think he has some serious issues.

[Heddi]

11. it was locked

and jesus wept at his tombstoning :rofl:

[bloom]

13. maybe there is hope

after all. :)

[lukasahero]

16. OMG

They tombstoned him!?! Excellent. :)

[Bunny]

6. Heh, I didn't see that one.

Could it be because I have that person on Ignore?

[Heddi]

8. Oh my! It seems that poster is no longer with us

And such a shame to lose such a progressive member of our community.

One that finds calling a co-worker "sexy" and a "skank" to be acceptable.

One that knows TRULY when a woman means yes vs.when she means no.

We are truly lesser of a community with his departure :not:

[Beaverhausen]

9. finally!

That thread this morning was just nuts!

[ismnotwasm]

12. Lordy.

Working nights I miss a lot it seems. Or rather, I'm glad I missed it.
Sometimes lately, words just fail.

[spooky3]

14. I'm always amazed when people who contribute $ to DU and

have 1000s of posts turn out to be disruptors, and there have been quite a few over the time I've been here. What kind of nutcase spends that much time and $ just to annoy people with whom s/he disagrees?

It's a strange world out there.

[NMMNG]

15. Some people

Are in dire need of a stiletto heel up their rear end. Let's hope he falls on one soon. :evilgrin:

[geniph]

20. I've had the OP on ignore for awhile now

He's either 12 years old, really stupid, or just likes to stir up shit. Possibly all three. Whatever, he's never added anything worth reading to the conversation.

[jukes]

21. the "defendant"

in that thread nade me:
1. sick to my stomach
2. REALLY want to kick the living dogshit out of him.



had it been my sister at the time, that's exactly what i wd have done. and he wd have experienced "snakes on a plane," cause there wdnt have been a gotdam thing he cd have done about it.

i've been told "no"; i consider it to mean "no" and re-address the situation another time under different circumstances (if i had deep feelings) or turned my attention elsewhere.

[ThomCat]

22. Thank all the Gods and Toothfairies he's gone.

When someone as much as comes out and announces that date-rape is not a crime, and that he's possibly a date-rapist... How can you respond without getting horribly upset?