Attention citizen!

[B Calm]

Stand by for an important message from the republican controlled congress.

Within the next few weeks citizen, you are to report to your nearest hospital to have a tracking chip surgically implanted in your right ear. The current republican administration wishes to track you 24 hours a day to keep you safe from terrorists.

Failure to comply will mean that you have something to hide and are on the side of terrorism. You then will be sentenced to ten years at Gitmo Bay, Cuba where you will be tortured and reprogrammed to accept totalitarian rule.

[teach1st]

1. Better to pick up a chip in the ear...

..than to pick up our remains.

:sarcasm:

[Emit]

5. Oh man

You musta' been following this topic!

[niyad]

2. I wish that the sarcasm icon were appropriate here--but, alas, I believe

that the announcement is not that far off their wish list.

[babylonsister]

3. Over my DEAD body! nt

[B Calm]

14. Only terrorists have something to hide!

[C_U_L8R]

4. But it will make it easier to round up all the freepers

and deport em all to North Korea (where they belong)

[Change has come]

6. wow

[C_U_L8R]

8. insert that missing sarcasm icon

[dogday]

7. You shall take it in the hand

or the forehead.. The name is a number and the number is a name.....

[Kansas Wyatt]

9. Attention Republican Party!

I shall require $500,000.00 per year to adequately provide and care for this microchip. Payment shall be due before the implant, and on the same date each following year. There is no grace period for late payments. If payment is not made on the due date, immediate termination of the chip will result at the end of the day at 5 pm.

[rustydog]

10. Don't need it they can tell where you are by your cell phone

the new ones have a gps feature. Supposedly for emergencies, police can locate you.
You don't think Unka Dick the face-shooter doesn't plan or hasn't already utilized this thru NSA?

[porphyrian]

11. Happiness is Mandatory.

The Department of Behavior Control would like to report a fifty per cent drop in unhappy citizens in the first quarter. If you or anyone you know are behaving unhappy, please notify the nearest Office of Homeland Security so that the proper paperwork for summary execution can be entered into the American Patriotism Database. Thank you!

[valerief]

12. I'm Singin' in the Rain, Just Singin' in the Rain

Might as well sing it now before I'm reprogrammed.

[B Calm]

13. Put on a happy face; Brush off the clouds and cheer up,

Put on a happy face.