Commencement speaker apologizes for contraception rant etc.

[MnFats]

sheesh.

then again....it's the u. of st. thomas. no offense to tommies, but isn't his rant part of the creed?

http://www.startribune.com/462/story/448725.html


snippet:


A University of St. Thomas honors graduate who scolded his fellow seniors at Saturday's commencement ceremony for being "selfish" apologized Monday for offending people during his politically charged speech.

Ben Kessler, an academic All-America football player who plans to become a priest, chastised students for using birth control, criticized them for a recent food fight and upheld the St. Paul university's controversial policy against allowing unmarried faculty and staff members in romantic relationships to room together on school trips that involve students.

"Then he got into other failures of society, and one of my classmates next to me stood up and left," said Daphne Ho, a graduating senior whose family traveled from Hong Kong for the celebration.

In a prepared statement released Monday by St. Thomas, Kessler said that he had tried in his speech to look back at some issues faced by the university and society and then look ahead.

"Instead of providing hope for all, I offended some by my words," Kessler said. "I sincerely apologize to each person I offended."

[Warpy]

1. For folks on dialup:

A University of St. Thomas honors graduate who scolded his fellow seniors at Saturday's commencement ceremony for being "selfish" apologized Monday for offending people during his politically charged speech.

Ben Kessler, an academic All-America football player who plans to become a priest, chastised students for using birth control..

http://www.startribune.com/462/story/448725.html


Blah, blah, blah. Another busybody who doesn't realize his ability to change the world ends at the surface of his own skin.

The shithead should do well in the priesthood.

[LostInAnomie]

2. Oh my stars! How dare those people use their own free will...

... to decide how they want to live their life. Don't they know life is supposed to be lifeless and bland!

Get 'em you sanctimonious douche bag!

[Ian David]

3. Transcript: Ben Kessler's speech to St. Thomas University

Ben Kessler's speech to St. Thomas University

"Good morning, friends, Catholics, fellow students, sexual deviants and chronic masturbators.

"The three things I have learned here at St. Thomas University are how to play football, that the priesthood is a good racket for those of us trying to suppress homosexual urges, and that college is filled with disgusting, evil degenerate hedonists.

"Most college commencement speakers want to fill your head with trite phrases and sunshine visions of your future. I won't waste your time with such things. Instead, I will use this opportunity to demonstrate how far superior to you I am, in so many ways.

"Jesus loves you all unconditionally-- and that is why he has condemned some of you to eternal torment in the fires of Hell. Jesus loves you all-- but I don't. I think most of you are shameful.

"For those of you who use contraception, shame on you! You are murdering the billions of innocent babies that live inside your sperm!

"For those of you who participated in the food-fight the other day, that is childish and immature, and a terrible waste of food when children are starving in Iran. Even though, thanks to American intervention, and by the grace of Christ, the children of Iraq are now happy, healthy, and free from hunger, that wouldn't give the Iraqis the right to throw food at our troops, would it? But they can still throw flowers and chocolates.

"For those of you who stole my underwear and ran it up the flagpole, shame on you!

"For those of you who called me "Kessler the Messler" after I had diarrhea in my pants during Freshman year final exams, shame on you!

"For those of you who race-mix with the negroes, shame on you!

"For those of you who put pictures of naked women on the wall outside my door about a dozen times this year, shame on you!

"Many of our female students have blossomed into womanhood here at St. Thomas University. And too many of them run around with their "dirty pillows" showing. They are nasty, foul little sluts. As my mother always used to say, 'First the blood, and then the boys.' Women, who incessantly nag about things like 'Global Warming' and 'Environmental Pollution' and 'Poverty' and 'The Homeless' and 'The Hungry' are a terrible distraction to those of us concerned with serious issues, like spreading the Catholic Church's message of not letting gays get married.

"Women have no place on a college campus, unless it is serving us in the cafeteria. There are hungry people right here on campus, especially around final exams, if you know what I mean.

"If God meant for us to take care of the poor, he wouldn't have made so many of them, now would he? But homosexuals... there aren't that many homosexuals. We can take care of them, the same way we took care of the witches.

"And shame on the person who sat down in front of my computer in the library when I left to use the bathroom, and inserted passages from 'The Story of O' into my essay on why Harry Potter novels are a pathway to damnation.

"Finally, remember: Graduation is a time to look forward to the future with hope. I hope all you masturbating, condom-using, bedding out of wedlock bastards burn in Hell!

"You'll never laugh at me again! You won't! You won't! I'm going to be a PRIEST and you'll have to respect me and listen to me because I speak for GOD ALMIGHTY!

"You don't give God's messenger a wedgie! You don't leave dirty caricatures of God's Messenger in bathroom stalls! You don't put Ben Gay in the jock strap of God's Messenger! Shame on you! Shame on you all, you filthy sodomites!

"May The Lord bless you and keep you. We ask this in Jesus' name. Amen."


Note: This is a rush transcript, and may vary significantly from the final transcript.

[MnFats]

4. sweet! I'd been looking all over for a transcript!

thanks. i think.