11/8/06 President George W. Bush:

[ChairmanAgnostic]

My fellow Amerucans. There are three very impotent issuers I wirsh to discuss with you today.
First, and foremost, and most impotently, we have learned of a series terra-threat that is threatening our nation. Since 9/11, this administration promised to do evrythin in its power to keep Amurica safe and secure and to protect our freedoms and our democracy.
The enemy is real. It is potent. And it is a threat.
Our enemas hate us for a freedoms and threaten our very way of life.

For security reasons, I cannot disclose the exact nature of the threat, but I can tell you this. It is real. It is imminent, it is deanterous, and it would be a derlict of duty if we did not respond and protect our nation.

Experts in the NSA and top peoples in the CIA have confirmed this threat. Based on their advice and others, I have no choice but to declare martial law. It will last for three months, during which I intent to call back the existing congress for emergency legislation.

Ladies and gentlemens, I cannot telll you how I regret having to take this step, but our enema has left us no choices.

Next, I have learned that in 43 congressional races, we have found clear evidences of voter fraud. It is no coincidence that in each of the races, a member of the opposition party won the election. WE have clear proof that this was done by manipulating voter rolls, changing programing in electronic voting machines, and by the use of absentee ballots.

Therefore, under the unitary executive powers given to me, I have issued an executive order cancelling yesterday's fraudulent election results. Those candiadates who approved of these crimes against our country are being arrested as we speak. In addition, I have issued arrest warrants and have ordered the FBI to take into custody the master-mines of this evil, traitorous plot. Harry Reid, Dick Durbin, Al Schumer,, Barack Osama, Nancy Pelosi, and 20 others will be taken into custody.

lastly, because the threat to our country is so wide-spread and imenemint, I have given the NSA orders to shut down the internets and to the FBI to take control over all TV and radio broadcasts.

Please realize, this is only a temporary martial law until we finish rounding up the terra-ists and those traitors here who support them. Once the emergency has passed, martial law will be lifted and we shall arrange a new election, fair, free and fundemental to our Amerucan values.

God bless America. With your help and prayers, I know we will survive this horrible threat and make Amurica safe for democracy again.

[Cassandra]

1. Well, you got the impotent part right.

The enemas, too.

[peacebird]

2. it wouldn't suprise me at all

[JanusAscending]

3. PLEASE !! Don't give them any ideas!!

They have stolen all our good one's already!! Bush couldn't come up with a "creative" thought if it bit him in the ass! Can we please STOP doing their thinking for them????

[ChairmanAgnostic]

If you don't think that Cheney and Rove already thought this through

then, me thinks that you think too kindly of the pols that infest the Bloatway. I would NEVER put anything past this collection of thieves, power-hungry criminals and greedy, war-mongering bastards.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

4. If you don't think that Cheney and Rove already thought this through

then, me thinks that you think too kindly of the pols that infest the Bloatway. I would NEVER put anything past this collection of thieves, power-hungry criminals and greedy, war-mongering bastards.

[Loge23]

5. ...and if it does happen

we have no choice. We must save the union.