Just got home from helping the terrorists, killing a few babies...

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

and making 14 year olds have sex with members of their own sex (only when they weren't interested in it in the first place).

I'm planning on having carnal knowledge with a turnip tomorrow.

What did you do today in support of the Democratic/Liberal agenda?

[BuyingThyme]

1. I did some reading.

[Horse with no Name]

2. Well it wasn't as impressive as you

but I spent the afternoon smuggling illeeegals across the border and personally taking away American jobs.
After that, I worked on my petition to get the Pledge of Allegiance taken out of schools.
Tonight I am making plans for my frontal assault on the War on Christmas.
Care to help? Of course, the War on Halloween and Thanksgiving have to come first.

[Jackpine Radical]

10. War on Halloween? What's with you people?

What are us libberul God-hating Satanists gonna do if you take Halloween from us? When are we sposed to sacrifice the little Christian fetuses if not on Halloween?

[madeline_con]

3. Check this out...

A coworker told me she and her hubby were behind me on the road. Inspired by my DU sticker, he checked us out, and said, "It's all true."

:)

[Jackpine Radical]

4. A TURNIP? You goddam pervert!

A squash, sure. A carrot, maybe. Bell peppers are nice, especially if you hollow them out first. But a TURNIP? I'da never believed it of ya, Tom, if ya hadn't told me yourself.

[Horse with no Name]

6. Wouldn't bell peppers burn?

I thought watermelons were the fruit of choice?:shrug:

[Jackpine Radical]

13. Of COURSE they burn.

That's the point.


Ooooooo, Hurt me!!

[Horse with no Name]

16. lol

I'd sure hate to get one of those seeds caught in the head of your pecker.:ouch:
You'll be pissing Mexicans.

[madeline_con]

7. He's threatening the sanctity of my marriage! n/t

[TomInTib]

21. I will tell you this.. Stay the hell away from chickens.

I get blisters every time.

[Jackpine Radical]

25. I know what you mean. Chickens are a type of bird that gives a

whole new meaning to the word "pecker."

[TomInTib]

39. This is a true story...

We used to emply a whole family (six brothers) of illiterate Mexican guys whose families all lived together in a little community called Clodine, west of Houston.

These guys were dogshit crazy.

One day, the oldest brother, Arthur, came up to me real conspiritorial-like.

Said, "Hey, Tom, don't fuck no chickens. You'll get a blister on your dick".

[Kutjara]

5. I undermined the sanctity...

...of man/woman marriage, enabled several Islamofascists and took steps toward destroying the Christian foundations of the Republic. And I had a prime rib sub at Quiznos.

[MnFats]

11. yes, and I undermined marriage by lusting after co-workers not my wife.

therefore i am doomed.
didn't actually DO anything more than think to myself, 'hmm! nice legs!"
but that's all it takes.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

27. Ooooh, Nice! n/t

[Kierkegaard]

8. I attempted to pay extra FICA tax,

bought a Volvo, performed several abortions (I was so careless in procedure that I lost count) and defamed Jesus himself over the intercom at my local WalMart.

I'm not sure what I'll get up to tomorrow; I might be too high to be very productive.

[Solly Mack]

9. I've corrupted a few cucumbers in my youth

but never a gherkin

that would be just plain wrong

[Horse with no Name]

12. I am still waiting for these fundies to outlaw phallic phruit

:evilgrin:

[Solly Mack]

14. hehehehehe

and they would if they could

[TheCowsCameHome]

20. Gherkins are um, not for the faint of heart. Good for you.

A person has to have some self-imposed limits.

[John Gauger]

15. I am collecting state secrets that I intend to sell

once the USSR rises again.

[Marnieworld]

17. War on Christmas preparations

The usual. :D

[razors edge]

18. I'm raising box turtles

for my secret attack on marriage. Then I disrespected my country's flag by leaving out all night in the rain, Had a few beers with Satan and planned the Apocalypse, not much really.

[TheCowsCameHome]

19. Had an affair with a three-legged goat, threw rocks at Teamsters,

and switched labels on household chemicals and baby formula at the supermarket.

Other than that, just wrote campaign donations to the RNC from a closed bank account.

[Horse with no Name]

22. Where are the recs on this?

It is classic.
And oh--for those that are wanting to organize early for the War on Christmas, meet me in secret forum at midnight. The Blue Goose is Loose.
Pass it on. ( I deny that this is a reference to Barbara Bush).

[TomInTib]

23. I took my Golden Retriever for a swim in southern Marin County

Doesn't get much more liberal than that.

My plans for tomorrow revolve around a bowl of warm pasta.

[TheBaldyMan]

24. another day campaigning to get 'In God We Trust' taken off US currency

Not only that, spent a few hours this afternoon framing Republicans with the usual stuff ... being gay, child-molesters and bribe-taking.

Well, someones got to do it.

[walldude]

26. I married my dog.... up yours Santorum! n/t

[cool user name]

33. I coveted your dog after you married it...

and then I laid down with it.

So, I broke a few rules by sleeping with one dog!

[Critters2]

41. At least you're monogamous

Me--three cats and a dog. Often all in bed at the same time! That should deal a blow to traditional marriage!

[cool user name]

43. LOL .... You're sick!

Thank G-d for small wonders!

[jazzjunkysue]

28. I did some heroin and beat up a nun.

[Rocknrule]

29. I had a gay interracial marriage while burning the American Flag

[jazzjunkysue]

30. Oh, yeah: And I killed christmas. Slowly. But according to the new laws.

So, it's still faith-based torture, which is God's work, after all.

[LostInAnomie]

31. My fellow members of the local Communist Party debated...

... on what would be the most effective method of convincing Christian children become Satanist/Marxists. We couldn't come up with a plan because, frankly, we liberals are not a party of ideas.

All we really accomplished was having a huge gay orgy, and drove a boat load of teen girls across state lines to the abortion clinic.

[Critters2]

32. Let'em read _Harry Potter_

works like a charm, so to speak.

[LostInAnomie]

36. Well, to be honest we all mostly go for the gay orgies.

And after we blow our welfare checks or booze and coke we couldn't really afford to buy books. The only person I know that could afford to do that is my welfare queen friend, but she just blew most of her welfare check filling up the tank on her Cadillac.

[Critters2]

40. Well, gay orgies are good, too nt

[Critters2]

34. Doin' my damnedest to take God out of, well, everything

I'm UCC, so we've already successfully taken God out of our church (you can tell by my deep fear of referring to God as "Him"). We even ordained Barry Lynn.

Critters
suitin' up for the culture war!

[VOX]

35. I read the NY Times, then drove my Volvo to an elitist university...

where I went about my daily unspeakable agenda of corrupting the minds of America's impressionable youth.

Tonight, I think I'll watch a Sean Penn movie and thumb through The Nation.

Just small stuff. :evilgrin:

[Tyo]

37. Step aside, lightweights

I undermine all of Western Civilization every day. No brag, no thanks needed. It's just what we gays do.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

42. Ouch! now that is good!

Keep it up!

[Gemini Cat]

38. Today I focused on marrying various cats to ME.

It was a nice ceremony, better than the box turtle one I had yesterday.

I also spelled a number of words correctly.

[Philosoraptor]

44. I hope you didn't forget to raise taxes