Why I Like Retirement

[Omaha Steve]

Courtesy of Betty H

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Trashday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday - Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

[doc03]

1. I'll second that I retired in April it is the best job I ever had. n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. I like the fact that they pay me to stay home!

[TheCowsCameHome]

3. It's hard work, but someone has to do it.

:thumbsup:

Six years and I'm starting to adjust.:rofl:

[demosincebirth]

6. Yup, it takes about that much time. I still have dreams about trucks

[glitch]

4. Lucky duckies. (congratulations!) nt

[demosincebirth]

5. Retired in 2000, at age 58. Thank God for my teamster pension.!

[eleny]

7. Funny question I got from too many people at work as I retired...

"What are you going to do with all that time to fill?"

[Autumn]

8. It's a nice gig if you can get it.

I envy my Husbands LOL

[madmax]

9. Thank you, Steve!

Damn, I needed that :hug:

[roguevalley]

10. best job I ever had. pays the lowest but the perks are killer.

[tech9413]

11. I don't really like retirement

I quit working in '02 because my profession had become a joke (electronics repair),the general state of mind of business management, the mercenary attitude in general. I have a lot to offer to the community but they just don't seem to value my skills and judgment. I do a lot of gratis work for people who don't have the money to fix or replace things that break. It feels good but it doesn't pay the bills.
I'll keep my job of caring for my 89 y/o parents and the homestead for as long as needed.

[Hangingon]

12. Retirement advice

Only do one thing a day but plan it carefully. Worked so far.